Love is Boundless
by ArtemisApollo97
Summary: Multiple pairings, requested one-shots. Love knows no shape, no bounds, no limits. It is romantic, platonic, straight up confusing. Love between the power couple who are FINALLY together, love between the siblings who found each other and love between the siblings you find yourself stuck with. Love is there and it is open for business! Come get some! T for some swearing!
1. Will makes a new friend

**Here we go, the first of the one-shots! I am going to be doing a series of connected one-shots, but will post them alternating chapters or at random, undecided! Requests are open! Below we have the first part of my Solangelo work, brought out by the fact that there are six months between HoO and ToA and there's so much Solangelo that could fit in it!**

**If you were kind enough to read my rewrites (thank you!) and saw how BoO ended, you will find that this below does not link up with it. This is an AU type thing where THAT did not happen. **

**And in response to last of the reviews on the BoO rewrite, in the hopes you all read this too:**

**To RandomFanAuthor- Yes, yes, yes, I lied all along! Ain't I a stinker? ^_^ And I'm saying nothing about the ToA rewrite. Nope. Haha, enjoy! ^_^ **

**To JasonGraceIsNAPPING- Jason is not DEAD, he is simply having a NAP. He is not DEAD. Nope, no way! I will not accept that he is DEAD! So you are now JasonGraceIsNAPPING. You're welcome! /strong/p**

**To Guest- You just put foreshadowing, what- pray tell- do you think? :D **

**To HoO Fan (Chapter 30)- I'm sorry for not updating that one night, I was... not a functional or recognisable person (yes, I'm a werewolf) buuuut I don't know if Reyna has been confirmed bi in canon, not sure where that lies. But in my rewrite, she is super gay. I always thought she was gay and the exaggeration in canon on her feelings for Jason were her being stuck in a hetreonormative view? (I don't know how to spell that word, so yay, I tried!) Just a personal headcanon for her, but I guess it's open to interpretation? And yes, there is one more chapter, I'm hoping you read it soon! I got called a 'glorious bastard' for it, and that honestly made my day!**

* * *

Will picked at his lip, frowning out the window. Louisa was walking across the green, from the dining pavilion to Cabin Three. At her side, gesturing wildly with some cards in hand, was Nico. She seemed amused with what he had to say, nodding along, gesturing just as wildly in mimic. Nico stopped dead, throwing his hands up. Louisa tipped her head back with laughter and he stomped off, shuffling his cards.

Louisa felt in her pockets, humming to herself. Her fingers found her prize- Nico's Poseidon card. She was about to pull it from her pocket, her foot on the first step to her cabin when someone called her name. Groaning, shoulders slumping, she half-turned. She did not expect to see Will.

"Hi." He said, giving a timid wave.

"Hi." She said, puzzled. "Uh… can I help ya or… somethin'?"

"Um, yes, actually. I… wanted to ask your advice on something." He glanced over his shoulder, folding his arms and then unfolding, tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come in?" Louisa offered. He hesitated. "Look, if ya comin' ta _me_ for advice, somethin' has ta be up. Are you gonna come in or not? Fuck the rules, you ain't my type."

"Well, that was uncalled for."

"I don't know what else ya expected." She shrugged, turning back. "I'm gonna hold this open for three seconds, last chance." She said over her shoulder, entering her cabin and propping the door open with her heel. "Three… two…"

"OK, OK. Gods, you're insufferable."

"Thank you." She smirked at him as he passed. The door swung shut behind them. Will hadn't been in Cabin Three before, taking a moment to marvel at the interior. Three sets of bunk beds lined the back wall of the low, long cabin, the supports made of drift wood, the walls seemingly hewn from the ocean floor, lined with coral patterns and seashells. It was softly lit, the ocean rustled outside, the scent wafting through the curtains. Doors and window frames made of driftwood, a doorway between the first and second bunk led out onto a pier, fifteen feet long, overlooking the sea. Only one bunk was currently in use, Louisa shedding her jacket and throwing it up onto the top bunk in the middle.

Louisa held something between her fingers. "What can I do for ya then?" She asked, examining the card. Will wondered if it was one of the cards Nico had.

"Um… I wanted to ask you about Nico."

"Is he OK? He told me ya'd banned him from Underworldy stuff."

"I did."

"Thanks. Was worried about the lil' shit." She tossed the card on her bed too. Will took a breath, clenching his fists. She quirked a brow.

"I-really-like-Nico-and-wanted-to-ask-him-out-but-he's-only-just-agreed-to-stay-and-I-don't-want-to-scare-him-off-or-upset-him-and-trigger-his-powers-and-possibly-make-him-disappear-forever." He blurted. Louisa said nothing, her expression unreadable. Will's heart missed a few beats and suddenly his lungs forgot their job.

And then… she grinned. A big, bright grin that sent a manic energy gleaming through her eyes. Will took a step back.

"I _knew_ it!" She beamed, laughing at his incredulous expression.

"I'm scared now." He squeaked.

"What? Why?"

"You're scary."

"I'm aware, but…" She shook her head, waving her hands around dismissively. "No, no. Are you gonna ask him?"

"See, that's the thing. I'm… kind of terrified… because he could say no. And then… I just got him listening to me, I… don't want to push him away."

"Just got him lis- ya know what? Leave it with me."

"Um, is that safe?"

"Probably not, but trust me, Will. I know Nico… _probably_ better than anyone else."

"Yeah, _how_?"

"It started when he shadow-travelled onto my head 'n' I missed the hellhound tryin' ta bite my leg off. It's all good, I give him Mythomagic 'n' he gives me headaches."

"That sounds… fair?" Will frowned at her. She frowned back, hands on hips. "You're a strange specimen, Louisa." She hummed, clearly not foreign to this concept.

"You're thinkin' about dissectin' my brain ta see how it works, ain't ya?"

"Little bit." He admitted quietly.

"Fuck off, Solace." But she grinned and Will realised he had made a new friend.

* * *

**Requests are open! (In exchange for reviews!) ^_^ **


	2. Water or fire?

**To RandomFanAuthor- hello again! ^_^ The Solangelo will be continued on another part, but not yet! ^_^ Reyoisa is not happening yet, but I have some written, don't panic! Have some Leoisa instead- something small that's been sitting in my folders for ages, I wasn't sure where to put it! Not 100% sure on it, apologies in advance! They are about twenty-one/twenty-two here if I'm following my old timeline, still working out my numbers :P**

*****UPDATE*** Also to RandomFanAuthor- sorry about the double posting of this one! I clicked the wrong document to upload, fixed it now! Thanks for the two reviews though! ^_^ I wouldn't have noticed otherwise! **

* * *

Leo hummed to himself, eyes fixated on her profile. A slight knit to her eyebrow gave away her awareness of him, but Louisa was more set on finding something to watch. Leo continued to hum, one low tone, moving his hand slowly towards her face, one finger outstretched.

"Do it 'n' ya lose that hand."

"Deal." And he poked her cheek. Quicker than he could blink, she had his hand trapped and twisted, almost pointing at himself. Leo whimpered and she made him poke himself in the forehead.

"What are you?"

"An idiot?"

"With confidence."

"_Your_ idiot."

"Too much confidence. I disapprove."

"You disapprove of everything." She released his hand with a smirk, returning to swapping through the channels. Leo watched the colours flick and images blur together on the screen, until his eyes became unfocused altogether. "Lou, I'm bored." She hummed in acknowledgement, part agreement, tossing the remote to one side. "I was thinking-"

"Oh gods."

"-of some more names." He continued, flicking her sharply in the leg. She glanced over, feigning boredom. She loved his name suggestions really. Deep down. He had yet to have a sensible suggestion. "McShizzle Junior." No, she shook her head. "Apprentice Repair Boy. Or Girl. Or are we not supposed to assign genders now?"

"I think that's up to them, maybe they'll decide at some point."

"Apprentice Repair McShizzle."

"Not on your life."

"Stop disapproving!"

"Disapprove."

"Ugh, you're annoying."

"Comin' from you?"

"Yes. Let me pick a name!" He wailed. Louisa smiled, unobligingly, tapping him on the head. She made to stand. He, having sat sideways on the sofa, fell forward and cocooned his arms around her middle, pulling her back down. "Nope!" He grinned slyly, wiggling closer and resting his head on her shoulder. "Aaaand where do you think _you're_ going?"

"I need a wee."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do, I've got a tiny human on my bladder." She messed his hair, running wild curls between her thumb and finger. "This is your fault."

"I'm not sorry."

"I know ya ain't." She smiled. Leo moved again, laying his head in her lap to press his ear to curve of her stomach. She continued to play with his hair. "Ain't gonna hear much, Valdez." She laughed. Leo mumbled in Spanish, more to himself than her.

"Wait, they can hear us, right?"

"Think so."

"Aw, yes." He hugged her tighter, beaming broadly. "I'm gonna be the best papi," he promised the bump, "and we're going to blow up all kinds of things!" Louisa cleared her throat. "With your mama, of course." He added, smiling at her approving nod. "Can't leave Mama out of explosions, she was practically _born_ to destroy. Oooh, I wonder if they'll be like you or me. Hey, be a fire baby. That's an ord- hey!" He looked up at her, grinning. "Did you feel that?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda came from inside me." Louisa laughed at his incredulous look, his hand warm on her stomach, Bubba repeatedly kicking his palm. She laughed more when he squealed with protest when the kicks stopped, patting his head reassuringly. "Two more months, Valdez."

"Too long! Hurry up in there, fire baby!"

"Um, no, they're a water baby!" He made to protest and she clamped a hand over his mouth. "_I_ am doin' all the hard work so they _will_ be a water baby!"

"But I want a fire baby!" He said, voice muffled behind her fingers. At her glower, the corners of his eyes creased with a smile. "Water baby might be OK."

"Might?"

"Yeah."

"Remind me why I'm nice ta ya."

"Because I'm your favourite person _ever_." He grinned, shifting to sit back up. She shook her head, but kissed his nose. "Now, I'm thinking Edwardo." Laughter bubbled forth and she playfully smacked him in the chest.

"Fuck off are ya! Fuckin' _Edwardo_." She pressed her fingers into his upper arms, prying him away. He complained wordlessly and she kissed his forehead. "I _really_ need a wee now, Valdez." He pouted. "Like, I'm _bustin'_."

"And not a move, which is a shame to see."

"Shut ya face." She stood, but he grabbed her hand, tapping his finger on his lips. Louisa cast her eyes heavenward but gave in, kissing him lightly, laughing softly at his stupid, rather pleased grin. "I'm goin' now."

"Think of me!"


	3. Ringing headache

**Short one today! I lost my train of thought at some point, but may continue this as well, can't go wrong with a Percabeth engagement!**

* * *

"Bro, stop freakin' out 'n' just _do it_."

"Great advice, Lou, can't believe I didn't think of it."

"Do ya want my help or not?"

"I asked _Frank_ to help, not you!"

"What, why?"

"'Cos Frank doesn't call me a 'dick' every five seconds."

"Frank don't call _anyone_ a 'dick'. Bet he don't even call a dick a dick."

"Can I come out of this conversation now? Please."

"No, you're a fishy person, you ain't ever allowed out."

"Let the record show, I did not consent to 'fishy person'."

"Blame Coach." Louisa shrugged. "He made the name stick." She frowned, squinting at Percy. "Fuckin' do it already, dickface." Percy threw his hands up, point proven. Frank shuffled nervously. "Pick a ring or _I'm_ gonna propose to her with, uh… with that!" She pointed, grinning maniacally. Percy didn't even bother looking, putting his head in his hands at something that was undoubtedly stupid.

Frank looked though, puzzled.

"Lou, that's two thousand dollars."

"Holy shit, it is? Nah, dude, fuck Annabeth! This place is _expensive_!" The man serving at the counter frowned at her for the umpteenth time. Louisa ignored him. "Look, we've been here for _years-_"

"Half an hour."

"Why don't ya just ask Leo ta make one?"

"Oh, there's an idea." Percy marvelled sarcastically. "A ring that explodes, shoots lasers and smells like chicken nuggets!"

"What every girl wants." Louisa confirmed, mock wistfully.

"What would you know, you're hopeless as shit."

"Well, fuck you too! Dickface!"

"Ma'am, if you continue with that language-"

"Ah, I'm leavin' anyway. Good luck with this dumbass." She jabbed a thumb at her brother and stomped out. Percy huffed a sigh of relief, rubbing at his face.

"All I wanted was an engagement ring. Not a headache."

"She's your sister, she'll always give you a headache."

"Save me."

"Buy a ring first." Frank nodded at the display case. A loud knocking caught their attention. Louisa stood outside, face pressed against the glass and going boss-eyed. She moved away, laughing, and then Reyna appeared. She took Louisa by the arm, shaking her head. With a wave to Frank and Percy, she took the headache away. Frank smiled. "Can always count on Reyna to deal with Lou."

"I swear she can teleport."

"Yeah, gods, I would _not_ put it past her."


	4. Pokemon for beginners

**To RandomFanAuthor- of course he's a fishy person, he's secretly proud of it, I'm sure! ^_^ And Reyna is literally the only one Lou listens to, out of the demigods anyway, I don't think she'll go up against her mothers all too easily! Put it down as true love, definitely true love :P **

**Anyway, tiny bit of Frazel, some Underworld siblings and Lou being a pain in the ass as always:**

* * *

"Aww, baby Pikachu!"

"No, that's _Pichu_!"

"Look, there's like, _a thousand_ of these things now, how do you expect me to keep up with them all?"

"Like everyone else, duh."

"I do not appreciate you tone, Frank Zhang."

"I'm sorry, it's… blame Lou, she'll kill you if she heard you getting these wrong."

"She can bring it on, I have no idea what I'm doing. I just want a Caterpie."

"_Why_?"

"Mind. Your. Tone."

"Sorry, sorry, don't kill me." Frank ducked his head, hiding behind his copy of a Pokémon encyclopaedia. Hazel pursed her lips at him, flicking through her copy. "You should really play the games, that's the best way to learn them."

"No. Those little devil boxes-"

"Gameboys, Hazel, they're Gameboys."

"Why not Gamegirls? That's just sexist!"

"Um… I don't know? I'm not Nintendo?"

"What's Nintendo?"

"Oh dear gods above, help me." She glowered and Frank hid behind his book again. Fierce golden eyes weighed upon him, making his heart jump about behind his ribs. She could stomp him into the ground and he would still marvel at her. "What about if you watch the show?" He tried.

"There's a show?" He nodded, peeking out at the lighter, curious tone in her voice. "It's not like that other show you made me watch, is it? The one with the jumpy people."

"Power Rangers, Hazel, and that's a classic."

"It was rather over-exaggerated and they kept posing at everything."

"Well, yeah, but that's what they do. But no, Pokémon isn't like that. I mean, it's exaggerated, yeah there is that, but it's… just watch it, OK? You'll like this one, promise." He managed a smile, laying a gentle hand on her knee. She looked into her book again, mulling it over. "There will be more Pikachu." He prompted. "He's the main one."

"I don't want a Pikachu anymore, I've changed my mind." She turned her book towards him, grinning and making his heart backflip. "I want one of these!"

"Rapidash."

"It's like if Arion was on _fire!"_

"Play the games and I'll help you get a Rapidash."

"Mmm, we'll watch the show first. Still don't like those little devil boxes."

"You called the television a devil box, but now you like that."

"Yes, but it makes more sense than those, uh…"

"Gameboys."

"Gameboys."

"What are you doing?" They looked up. Nico stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, brow raised. "I thought you were teaching her about Mythomagic, Zhang. You had one job."

"But she didn't know Pokémon!"

"_What_? Hazel, my dearest sister, I love you, but what the _fuck_?"

"Uh, mind your language!" Hazel scolded. Nico shrugged and moved forward to sit between them, knocking Frank's hand off Hazel's knee. "Besides, I thought they were cute and Frank brought me this," she raised the encyclopaedia a little, "so I could draw them! I want a Rapidash." She grinned.

"I want a Shuppet. That seems more my speed." Hazel bit the inside of her cheek, flipping through the book until she found what he meant.

"No, I know a better one for you." And then she showed him a Snubbull. "See! He's got a cute grumpy face like you!" She cooed teasingly. Nico frowned, more so when she laughed and pinched his cheek. "Point proven. I'm going to find a Pokémon for the others as well."

"Don't even think about giving Lou anything other than Vaporeon, she'll rip your eyes out."

"Noted. Should I give Percy a water one as well or is that too obvious?"

"I think Percy would love a Togepi."

"A what?"

"The egg." Frank clarified.

"I drew that one!" Hazel beamed. She rummaged through the papers on the floor, flourishing a drawing a Nico a moment later. He sat and examined her artwork while she and Frank debated Pokémon companions for the rest of their friends. "I'm genuinely surprised that Lou didn't pick a Gyarados."

"I'm genuinely surprised that you didn't pick a Ditto for Frank."

"And this is why you're getting a Snubbull." There was a loud crash, making them all start, and then Louisa was there, grinning. "If you break my door-" Hazel began warningly.

"Holy shit, you drew those?" Louisa swept forward, snatching the papers from Nico and marvelling at each image. "H, me 'n' you need ta team up 'n' do a big ass paintin' of somethin'. Can I keep this one?" She beamed, flapping a sheet. Nico arched a brow at his sister, as if to say _what did I_ _tell you_? Louisa had picked out Vaporeon, without fail.

Hazel smiled, kneeing her brother's leg.

"Of course you can, Lou. But I want one of Rapidash in return."

"Deal. Scoot over, Nico, important person has arrived." Nico leaned back slightly, watching the door expectantly. "Fuck you, di Angelo." Louisa sat herself between Nico and Frank, elbowing her cousin repeatedly and swearing some more when he elbowed her back. "Bastard." She chided, pinching his nose and laughing when he recoiled, casting her a dubious look. "Frank, what'd ya pick?"

"I think I'm getting a Ditto."

"Fuck yeah, you are."

"Why are you here, Lou?"

"'Cos someone's gotta come 'n' pick on you, cuz. 'N' ya love me."

"Debatable."

"Um, _who_ helped ya get a boyfriend?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Make me." Louisa challenged, sticking her tongue out. Nico looked ready to try, freezing when Hazel cleared her throat, smiling sweetly at them both.

"I want Pokémon, not murder." She reminded them in a sing-song voice. "Now behave or get out." Louisa and Nico stared at her for a moment, glanced sidelong at each other. Nico wrinkled his nose. Louisa squinted slightly and then they both nodded.

Louisa looked to Hazel again, grinning lopsidedly.

"Aww, we're sorry, H. But ya know the rules- boys 'n' girls ain't allowed in cabin on their own." Hazel and Frank simultaneously flushed crimson. Louisa cackled, fist bumping Nico. Two seconds later, they were being chased out by Hazel and her spatha.

"And stay away!" Hazel demanded as they sprinted towards the basketball court. Louisa spun around, jogging backwards. She cupped her hands around her mouth to yell back;

"Name the first one Lou!"

* * *

**I think I might put the next Solangelo bit up next- yay or nay? **

**Requests still open! ^_^ **


	5. First date necromancy? Not on your life!

**Second part to Solangelo! ^_^ **

**To RandomFanAuthor- I enjoy the Hazel-not-knowing-anything-blah-blah trope as well! I feel like she sorely needs to catch up on the important stuff, like Harry Potter and Ninja Turtles. Obviously.**

* * *

Nico was sitting on his bunk, frowning at the décor. With Louisa's help, he had already dismantled the vampire-coffin beds, leaving just the bases of the frames and the mattresses. The rest of the coffins may or may not have met a rather fiery end on which they may or may not have roasted marshmallows on and may or may not have burned a few other vampire-esque things and Drew's hairbrush.

He flopped back and immediately, his door was almost knocked off its hinges. The thumps were quick and non-stop; only one person knocked like that.

"Louisa." He grumbled, propping the door open against the inside of his wrist. "We need to go over your door etiquette again."

"Fuck that noise, I've got some good news!"

"You found an anger management coach?"

"What, no!"

"You won the lottery and are going to give me all the money to redecorate this hovel?"

"Pfft, get your own!" She covered his mouth before he could say anything else. "Listen, I can either come in 'n' tell ya like a normal borin' person, or I can stand here 'n' scream for all of camp to here that a certain blond medical dude likes you too!" Nico's eyes widened. He grabbed her wrist and yanked her in, slamming the door. "Rude." She muttered.

"This isn't one of your weird jokes, is it? I swear to gods, Lou, if it _is-_"

"Would I? Would I _really_?"

"I want to say yes."

"Breathe. Lower your voice a few octaves." She smirked, rubbing at her ear.

"Oh, shut up." He fumed, heat flooding his cheeks. She smiled. "So…" He tried, words catching in his throat.

"So, yeah. Will likes ya too 'n' wants ta ask ya out."

"And… what did you say to him?"

"I said I'd sort it."

"_Why_?"

"Me or Jason?" She pointed out. Nico huffed. "Will's worried he's gonna freak ya out 'n' ya gonna poof inta shadows or somethin'." She tipped her head to one side, scratching at her nose. "Ain't ya banned from Underworldy stuff? Doctor's note 'n' all that?" If possible, his blush increased tenfold and she had to turn away to avoid snickering. She noticed the little shrine he had in honour of his father. Next to that, a low cupboard with his Mythomagic figures on. She moved over, on the pretence of pacing while his brain caught up.

Glancing over her shoulder, he was staring distractedly at his bunk, biting his thumb. She moved the Poseidon figure forward and moved away from the cupboard. "It's a bit late ta rebuild the coffin beds."

"I wasn't-"

"Yeah, ya were."

"How… how are you so good at that?" She shrugged and gave a sweet smile. He sighed, brushing his hands on his shirt. "Lou, what… what do I do?"

"Ask him first."

"_How_?"

"OK, 'n' I thought _I_ was clueless." She rolled her eyes, plonking a hand on his shoulder. "Pretend I'm you. _Will_, I'm a depressed 'n' lonely lil' shit with an _awesome_ cousin who says we should go ta McDonalds 'n' bring her back _all_ the Happy Meals we can carry. On a sidenote, you wanna see a magic trick I can do with these Happy Meals? I call it necromancy."

"You're not helping."

"You're not breathin'." She pointed out. "Just ask him ta McDonalds, what's the worst that could happen?" His expression deadpanned and she laughed, squeezing his shoulder. "I can always sit a few tables away 'n' spy, if ya want."

"I don't want."

"Rude."

"Lou, you'll be throwing things at me."

"What else ya good for?"

"Love you too." He muttered. She grinned triumphantly and messed his hair. Nico drew a deep breath and her smile turned cheeky. "I'm going to do it. I'm going to ask him."

"Right now?"

"Yes. Before I chicken."

"Permission to watch from a distance?"

"Denied, but you're going to do it anyway."

"Duh." And she proceeded to shove him out.


	6. Jambalaya, baby!

**To RandomFanAuthor- I've added the McDonald's date to my list of to-writes! I may do more Hazel-catching-up one-shots, but I had the urge to write something else Frazel today! ^_^ **

**To zantarak- thank you! And he is TOTALLY NAPPING, I drafted my WAKE UP JASON chapter earlier! And two other scenarios that I'm still debating... O.o And I'd love to do a Jason jealous of Piper admiring Lou, I have an idea! Keep an eye out, I'll try and put a note in to say when it's your request! **

**To HoO Fan- welcome back! ^_^ I'm going to do as many as I can until I catch up with the ToA rewrite. I've not read Tyrant's Tomb yet, it's still sitting in the packaging. I had the urge to re-read Burning Maze before I read it, you know, a bit of pre-torture before everything blows up, I'm guessing. IF I GET ONE SPOILER, I WILL KILL THEM ALL! See Frazel below! And the Magnus Chase rewrite will go into the works once I've got up with the ToA, still considering the cross-over I think we talked about, will see how things pan out! **

**To KotlcExpert521- I can do a Pernico/Percico, may be angsty though... undecided. But thank you! ^_^**

* * *

"You do realise, bringing your own food when someone has invited you over for lunch is _extremely_ rude and disrespectful." Nico frowned. "Not to mention a kick to my self-esteem."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Hazel laughed. "But you cook as well as Lou does, I do _not_ want food poisoning today."

"I didn't cook. Will did."

"Well in that case-"

"I could just not invite you in." Nico deadpanned. Hazel giggled, pinching his cheek.

"My dear brother, as if you could turn me away." She smiled angelically. Nico huffed, waving her hand away and motioning with his head. Hazel beamed triumphantly, Frank two steps behind her as they followed Nico in. Will was humming to himself in the kitchen, stirring away at a pan. He called out a greeting.

"Dinner won't be long!" He assured. Hazel set her tray on the table, one of her homemade spiced fruit cakes. Nico was staring at it and she could see the debate going on behind his eyes- _could he justify saving it for himself? _

"You have to share." Hazel instructed. Nico's gaze cut to her and he huffed.

"Fine." He spun on his heel and went to help- _hinder_\- Will. Frank sat at the table, picking up the discarded newspaper. They could hear Nico muttering, Will laughing and teasing his partner. "I am a brilliant cook!" Nico protested. Will cracked up and Nico stormed out, cursing in Italian. Hazel raised a brow at him. "You shush."

"I said nothing."

"And it'll stay that way." He nodded defiantly. Will stuck his head out.

"Oy. I said lay the table."

"I did."

"You put _one_ fork out."

"I got distracted!"

"Lay the table." Will swept two fingers from his eyes to Nico and then disappeared. Hazel breathed in, stomach growling at the scent of the meal.

"Jambalaya?" She asked. Nico nodded, examining the one fork he had set out.

"Will likes trying different recipes, realised he hadn't done one from New Orleans. So, yes. Jambalaya. He's rather proud of it." He put the fork down, taking a moment to focus on his sister. "Don't judge him too harshly, this is his third attempt."

"Oh bless him. I'll be nice." Hazel promised. Nico gave a wobbly smile.

"Lay that table, Nico!" Will yelled. Nico slowly turned a challenging glare on the door. "And don't even _think_ about trying to shadow me away! You're still under doctor's orders!" Frank looked up from the newspaper, bemused.

"What did you do?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Tell that to the five year old girl celebrating her birthday!"

"It was an accident!" Nico protested. "Besides, you made me jump, it's your fault!"

"Whatever makes you feel better!"

"Remind me why I'm nice to you." Nico grumbled.

Will served dinner up, putting the first plate before Hazel with a tentative smile and a squeeze on her shoulder. Frank was next, then he disappeared to bring back his and Nico's meals. He set Nico's plate down a little too forcefully, shooting him a warning look. Nico sighed. "I'm not a_ child_, Solace."

"Empty Plate Club!" Will beamed. "Now, Hazel, I want your honest opinion. And don't look in the kitchen, I may or may not have made a mess that Nico so kindly volunteered to clean up later."

"I did?"

"You did. Do I need to check you for amnesia?" Nico made a rude hand gesture. Hazel kicked him under the table, Will elbowing him as he sat down. Hazel was aware he was watching her as she tucked into the jambalaya. Flavour rippled over her tongue, stirring memories from when she was young. She had no words, shovelling more into her mouth. Will brightened, practically grinning from ear to ear and mighty pleased with himself. "What'd you think, Frank?" Frank looked up, mouth also full. He nodded vigorously, giving a thumbs-up. Nico tried a small portion.

"Mm. Hazel's is better." Will glowered at him sidelong.

"Well, of _course_ Hazel's is better, she's _magic_ at cooking." Will smiled. "I guess congratulations are in order."

"What, for my cooking?"

"Um, no? For the baby." Hazel inhaled sharply, immediately choking on her food. Frank froze, dropping his fork.

"The… the what?" He stammered, paling. Will looked from one to the other, biting his lip. Nico rose to hit his sister on the back helpfully, torn between glaring at Will and laughing at the look on Frank's face. Hazel raised her hands to her face, thick tears welling in her eyes as she coughed and spluttered. Will pressed his fingertips together, humming nervously to himself and looking around for a way out of the hole he had dug himself.

"Something tells me you didn't know…"


	7. Early truths

**For KotlcExpert521- I began a little Percico thing, may spread it out a bit like some of the other stuff! Any suggestions, feel free! ^_^ **

**To RandomFanAuthor- thank you! ^_^ But I may keep them as one-shots, I've got so many WIPs at the moment anyway! **

**To HoO Fan- Hazel looks all sweet and innocent, but she will deck you, I'm sure of it. And I know this wasn't a really coupley one-shot, buuuut there are a few future Frazel things to keep an eye out for! I like the amusement park idea though! I can just imagine the height restrictions for Leo, Lou, Hazel... ah, fun times!**

* * *

It was taking some getting used to, waking up to Louisa swearing at Tyson for getting up at the 'crack of dawn'. On reflex, Percy threw his pillow in her general direction, but she was a top bunker on the next set over. He couldn't reach from this angle.

She could.

A pillow thumped in his face, smacking away the last dregs of sleep. "Fuckin' early!" She complained.

"Stop swearing at Tyson!" Percy swatted her pillow to the floor. Tyson was hovering by the door, his eye flitting nervously between the twins. "It's alright, Ty, she's just grumpy in the morning. I'm sure she'll make it up to you later, _won't you,_ Lou?"

"As long as I can sleep now." Louisa sighed, vaguely waving them away. Tyson looked to Percy for confirmation. Percy didn't even begin to speak, when, "Shit! What the f-? _What the fuck, di Angelo_?"

"So you _are _here." There was a _thud_ and Nico tumbled to the floor, groaning. He lay on the floor between Percy's bunk and Louisa's. Percy propped himself up on his elbow, reaching out his hand to help Nico up.

"No, don't be nice to him!" Louisa protested, rolling off her bed. She landed on her feet, her back to Percy, towering over Nico. She grabbed him roughly by the scruff of his jacket, yanking him to his feet. "Listen here, ya little bastard, it's _too fuckin' early_ for this shit."

"I'm very sorry I messed up the landing-"

"Bullshit."

"-but it's Friday."

"No it ain't."

"Yes it is." Nico raised a brow at her.

"It is." Tyson confirmed by the door. Percy pushed on his sister's back, so he had room to get up. He smacked her hand repeatedly until she let Nico go, taking the smaller boy under his arm.

"It's too early for _your _shit, Lou. Tone it down." She kicked him in the shin. "Ow." Percy deadpanned, sighing. "Nico, you have horrible taste in friends."

"Pfft, _friend_." Louisa corrected. "I'm his _favourite_, so go fuck yaself." She flicked Nico in the head for good measure, stomping past them. She dibbed the bathroom, slamming the door.

Percy sighed again, resting a hand on Nico's head and messing his hair. Nico waved his hand away, glaring at something past Percy's arm, oddly pink.

"I'm fine." He insisted. "Typical Lou."

"Fuck you!"

"Yeah," Percy agreed, "typical Lou. Sure you're OK? I know first-hand how hard she hits." Nico laughed humourlessly, rubbing at his face.

"I've spent years with Lou, she hardly bothers me anymore." Louisa chose that moment to yank the bathroom door open, marching up to Nico.

"Listen up, you little shit," she demanded, jabbing him in the chest, "I will _always_ bother you 'n' ya _suck_ without me."

"You think very highly of yourself, Lou." Nico remarked. Louisa scoffed, flicking him under the chin.

"I think _right_ of myself, I'm awesome. Besides, you woke me up! _Early_!"

"It's almost nine, Lou."

"_Early_!"

"_And_ it's Friday!" Nico jabbed her back. Percy caught their hands before any more jabbing proceeded.

"What's so important about Friday?" He asked. Louisa groaned, rubbing at her eyes with her free hand.

"Friday," she said, "is our day ta just… whatever. Can't tell ya." Percy stared at her incredulously. Louisa snorted. "Not like _that_, he ain't my type. We just chill 'n' bitch about everyone." Nico nodded hastily, not meeting Percy's gaze. "'Cept," Louisa yawned, "we don't meet 'til lunch. Why ya here so early, dipshit?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"I could."

"Not anymore." Nico tugged on her sleeve. "Get dressed, I want pancakes."

"Ugh, _fine_."

* * *

"Why?"

"Why what?" Nico puzzled. Louisa stabbed at her pancakes and he could visualise her real target- his face. "Lou, as clever as I am, I'm not a mind reader. So why _what_?"

"Why didn't ya tell me you're gay?" Heat flooded Nico's face. The temperature at the table dropped. Louisa, studying her frozen drink, rather unimpressed, sighed. He stammered and floundered, denying and shushing for almost a full minute. She cut him off by sticking a spoonful of syrup in his mouth, making him gag. "It's kinda obvious, cuz. I sussed it ages ago."

"I am not-" He gagged again.

"You are."

"You don't kn-"

"I do." She set her frozen goblet down, a strange combination of defiance and calm over her features as she locked eyes with him. "Been there myself, buddy. Ta some degree anyway. Ya gay 'n' for some strange reason I can't figure out, you like Percy. I'm warnin' ya now, he snores like a freight train. 'N' he's an ass. Oh, would you look at that, you can do a _grand_ impression of a tomato. Well done, Nico." She scratched at her cheek. "It don't bother me that ya didn't tell me. Just bothers me ya ain't told yaself."

"Percy has Annabeth." Nico muttered, almost a growl in his voice. "It doesn't matter." He pressed on, clenching the edge of the table. His shoulders were shaking, still rather rosy-cheeked. "There's nothing to tell anyone." She watched him for a moment, studying his face with an unreadable, yet oddly serene expression. Was she sad? Angry? Disappointed? Disgusted? What was it, _what_?

"OK." She eventually said. "Eat ya pancakes. We're goin' canoein' today."

"Do we have to?"

"Hey," she pointed her fork at him warningly, a chunk of pancake dripping syrup onto the table, "it's my turn this week. We saw Cerebus last week." Nico sighed, nodding. Louisa reached over, patting his head with her free hand. "Good boy."

* * *

**Again, may turn into a continuation, but I'm not sure if I should stick with canon and keep Solangelo and Percabeth ooorrr twist it a bit and have Pernico? What do ya'll think? **


	8. Onward, you pain in the ass!

**Tiny bit of Reyisa today! ^_^ **

**To Norlium- thank you! I don't personally ship Pernico, but I can see why people do! But I'd kill for Solangelo, so there is that :P **

**KotlcExpert521- if you read this, give us a wave. Do you want Pernico endgame or Percabeth/Solangelo/Pernico confusion? What works best for you? **

**To RandomFanAuthor- when you say increasingly difficult, this is Lou we're talking about- surely she's reached maximum difficult already? **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 5)- I say Jasper, I did start one! It's in one of my many many notebooks somewhere D: There will be Leoisa, but there's a thing I need to do first- technically, I wasn't even going to post this Reyisa one until this other thing, buuuut I want feedback on it, so yay! ^_^ And what is this sibling love you speak of? It's sibling RIVALRY! Mwhahaha!**

* * *

"No, don't do it."

"I'm sorry, Lou, but it has come to this."

"No, Reyna, please. We've come too far."

"You didn't come far enough. Uno. Draw four, bitch."

"Fuck you." Louisa threw down her cards, pouting. Reyna smirked, laying her last card down as well. "Again." Louisa requested.

"But you keep losing."

"Again." Louisa insisted. Reyna sighed, gathering the cards. "You keep cheatin'."

"You can't cheat at Uno, Lou. It's a game of chance." She shuffled the deck, Louisa watching her hands distractedly. "How about a different game? Chess, maybe. I can teach you that." In form of answer, Louisa blew a raspberry. Reyna suppressed another sigh, setting the cards to one side. "Why don't we go for lunch first?"

"Ya could've said that sooner." Louisa grinned. She stood, flourishing her hand and making grabby motions until Reyna tucked her hand in her own. Louisa's hand, as always, was cold; calloused fingers intertwining gently with Reyna's.

She swung their arms as they walked, a habit Reyna had grown used to. With a smile and a little tug, she could heel the action, even if only for a moment. Louisa always pouted at this, beaming when she deemed it safe to start again.

As they walked through Camp, Reyna was greeted with salutes, given reports, asked a multitude of questions. She could hardly go a few paces before stopping. And with Louisa literally at hand, it stopped her too, much to her chagrin. Reyna had more patience for the questions, at least outwardly.

Louisa did not.

She dropped Reyna's hand and, quick as a flash, unclasped the praetor's cloak and swung it about her own shoulders.

"We're on lunch!" She declared, hands flailing and then billowing the cloak out either side of her. "Dismissed!"

"Can she do that?" Dakota asked.

"No, she can't." Reyna tried not to smile, raising an eyebrow. "Give it back, Lou."

"Nah." And Louisa sprinted away, with a cheeky cackle. Reyna sighed.

"I will mentor the probatios' training later," she said, patting Dakota's shoulder, "now if you'll excuse me…" Dakota nodded, but she was already gone, gaining ground on Louisa. The cloak thief glanced back, her grin vanishing with an "Oh shit" before pouring on speed.

Reyna caught up with her just before she reached the Pomerian line, tackling Louisa from behind. She wrestled her cloak from her as they rolled. Reyna pinned Louisa, sitting astride her stomach and keeping her arms trapped with her knees. She swished her cloak around her, clasping it, before looking down with a smirk. "How many times will it take before you realise it's _mine_ and you're _not_ allowed it?"

"Mmmm… what am I up to now?"

"Too much."

"Double it." Louisa flashed a sweet smile, a devilish light flitting in her eyes. Reyna crossed her arms over her chest and the smile dimmed. "Buzzkill, Rey-Rey." Louisa squirmed, testing the imprisonment on her arms. Reyna watched her expectantly, a bubble of amusement welling in her chest. "Fuck." She grumbled, turning her head this way and that, trying to look above her. "That's the Pomeranian Line, right?"

"Pomerian."

"That's what I said!" She tried to wiggle her arms free again, sighing. "That's it, I'm tellin' Terminus. TERMINUS!" She yelled, throwing her head back. "TERMINUS!"

"I heard you the first time." The statue grumbled, appearing with a 'pop' beside them. "Praetor Ramirez-Arellano, are you having trouble?"

"No. Lou is though."

"Well, I would expect as much. She has a penchant for causing trouble and a magnetic quality of finding it."

"Aww, didn't know ya cared, Termy!" Louisa beamed at him.

"Do _not_ call me _Termy_."

"Too late." Louisa twisted sharply, almost tipping Reyna off. She looped her arms under Reyna's legs and then bounced to her feet, giving Reyna a piggyback. "Right, Termy, we want food." Terminus glowered at her. "Food." Louisa pressed, holding on tight as Reyna tried to escape. Terminus scoffed, regarding Louisa coolly. Louisa didn't seem to notice. "Fooood. Ah, no, you stay!"

"Lou, put me down!"

"Nope!"

"Praetor, may I leave her with you? If she wishes to come in the city, she must come through the authorised route."

"Of course, Terminus, I'll remind her." Terminus vanished with a scowl. Reyna tried squirming to get down, but Louisa was having none of it. "Lou."

"Reyna."

"It's not very professional of the praetor to get a piggyback."

"I thought ya knew what ya were gettin' into, Rey-Rey."

"What, dating you?"

"Yeah!" When Reyna gave a dubious hum, Louisa laughed maniacally. "Fuck the rules!" She declared, jolting forward and breaking into a run. Reyna startled, crying out her name and clamping her arms around her neck. "GONNA GET FOOD!"

"GONNA GET _MURDERED_!"

"LIFE GOALS!"


	9. Proposal and people

**Two today because I'm feeling generous! **

**For all those that requested a one-shot, I am doing my best to write as many of them as I can! Just keep reminding me, I'll get to it! ^_^ I am currently working on the ToA rewrite, so bear with me! :D **

**To RandomFanAuthor- I honestly love writing Reyisa because Reyna's just so sensible and hardworking and Lou's just a dick. I am rewriting the ToA lot- I've not read Tyrant's Tomb yet, so if _anyone_ spoils that for me, I will find you, break off your fingers and gouge your eyes out with them, you have been warned. I'm not sure when it'll be out as of yet- I am currently on the part where they've got Georgie back and she's delivered Trophonius's message. And who's to say I wasn't already writing a story set right after BoO? O.o Maybe I am! Maybe I'm not! Who knows! (I do, I totally am, it's going to link HoO and ToA- think those six missing months that everyone thought Leo was dead! But with Calypso free aaaand Lou and shenanigans! Great fun! Baby turtles!)**

* * *

"OK, this is how I see it. Firstly," Louisa began counting off on her fingers, "ya didn't want me ta help ya pick a ring. Secondly, ya didn't want me ta help ya plan how ta ask her, but _now, _thirdly, ya come ta me, whinin' and bitchin' that ya can't do it, like the dumbass you are." Percy huffed.

"Yeah, that sounds about right." He grumbled. "Lou, I'm sorry, you have terrible taste in jewellery, you're only idea for me to ask her was to scream at her 'Listen up, you piece of shit, we're gonna get married 'n' ya gonna fuckin' love it'-"

"I don't sound like that."

"-but yes, I'm asking for your help _now_ because you're an ass and I'm terrified. Please help."

"Go 'n' ask her," Louisa said slowly, folding her arms, "or I'm gonna ask her myself."

"Stop stealing people's girlfriends!"

"I ain't ever stolen-"

"Stop trying to then!"

"Bitch, please, Annabeth ain't even my type! Look, ya gonna ask her or are ya gonna stand here takin' up my lunchtime?"

"That last one."

"Ugh, you're so annoyin'. Who the fuck ever asked for brothers, I sure as shit didn't." Louisa rubbed at her eyes, muttering obscenities and sighing. "Fine, fine." She jabbed Percy in the chest. "Get your dumb ass over there 'n' ask her ta marry you or I will _dropkick you off Olympus_."

"No, nope, that didn't work."

"Fine. Go 'n' ask her _or_ I'm gonna remove your spine through your stomach 'n' beat ya with it until I can see organs 'n' then I'll hang ya sorry carcass up by the shredded remains of ya lungs for the monsters ta eat!"

"Oh damn."

"Better?"

"Uh, yeah. Complete opposite end of the spectrum, but yeah. Please see a psychiatrist."

"Please ask ya girlfriend ta marry you, I'm hungry." She grabbed his arm and forcibly spun him around, shoving him in the back for extra measure. Percy stumbled, glancing over his shoulder anxiously. Louisa smiled tightly, clenching her fists and miming ripping something apart. Percy quickened his step, forcing himself to march over to the green and get away from his lunatic sister.

Annabeth stood watching the basketball game, her book tucked under her arm. Louisa, despite her lunchtime dwindling, stayed to watch and make sure he didn't chicken out. He tapped Annabeth on the arm and she spun, beaming at him and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Louisa looked around- the sun was out, a gentle breeze stopped the day from becoming stifling, so everyone was out enjoying the hot day.

Well, except for Nico. He was a vampiric little shit, he'd probably explode into ash or grumpiness in direct sunlight.

So, you could imagine the reaction when Percy got down on one knee. The whole camp seemed to freeze with a collective gasp or an excited squeal. Annabeth's book hit the ground, so silent was the camp, that Louisa heard the thud from Cabin Three.

She did not hear what her brother said and probably wouldn't hear much for the rest of the week. When Annabeth nodded, crying and smiling, the camp exploded. Screaming, cheering, bets being exchanged, wailing- and that was just the Aphrodite cabin. The _entire_ populace, having been out enjoying the sun and the strawberry scented breeze, were having a meltdown. Even _Mr. D_ came out to see what all the noise was.

"Oh." He grunted. "About time."

Annabeth tackled Percy as soon as that ring was on her finger, flooring him and kissing his face over and over. Louisa rolled her eyes, heading towards the dining pavilion.

The infirmary was going to be busy later. She just wanted a nice, quiet moment to eat her cheeseburger, but _nooo_. Percabeth were _engaged_, could she _believe_ it? Oh my gods, he _finally_ asked her, isn't it _amazing_, Louisa? You're going to be Annabeth's sister-in-law, oooh I wonder what they'll name their first kid! Gods, I would _never_ let _you_ babysit!

The Apollo cabin were having trouble- people were getting overwhelmed, some were fainting, some were 'dying' of heartbreak. Someone had been _stabbed_\- Louisa wasn't too sure how that had happened, but was rather sorry she had missed it as the someone who had been stabbed was Clarisse and the stabber was Travis.

For the millionth time in her life, Louisa decided she was not a people person. Maybe she should go and stab Clarisse too. It might have cleared the Percabeth-shaped migraine behind her eyes.

Yes, she was happy for them, blah blah blah, all that mush. But she. Was _not_. A people person. _Ever_. Now go away, it's lunchtime.


	10. Peeking Piper

**The numbers of the reviews went up, but it's not showing me them! I will reply when they show! **

**This one is for zantarak, Piper admiring Lou! Hope it's alright!**

* * *

"Pay attention, Piper, or I'm gonna lop ya head off."

"That'd be nice, I've a migraine in the shape of Drew."

"Unsurprisin'." Louisa muttered. She tapped the flat of her blade on Piper's shoulder, offering a smile. "Come on then, let's see what ya've got." Piper lifted her sword, something borrowed from the weapons rack. It wasn't perfectly balanced in her hand, but it was the best she could find, a little longer than Louisa's, purely celestial bronze with a worn, leather grip.

Piper already knew a few moves, courtesy of Jason and Annabeth, some of the other campers. Louisa tested her knowledge with a series of simple jabs and swipes, not attacking with the speed or ferocity Piper had seen her use against others- _more experienced_ others.

Not that she minded. As much as the Drew-migraine bothered her, she wasn't really looking to have her head removed today. She parried one of Louisa's strikes, throwing out one of her own. Louisa swung and the next thing Piper knew, her sword lay in the dirt thirty feet away.

"How did you do that?"

"Need ta work on ya speed, Pipes. Focus on what I'm doin', on what you're doin'. Ain't gonna get far if ya mind's elsewhere."

"That's… almost ironic in a way, considering your attention span is as short as Leo's." Piper hummed dubiously, wrinkling her nose. Louisa simply smiled, readying her blade again. Piper was quick to collect hers, making herself concentrate on each move Louisa made, how she shifted her weight for balance, the steps she took, the movement in her arms.

Their main goal was to teach Piper how to defend herself. So far, she had been disarmed and declared dead fourteen times.

Her sword disappeared from her grip. Fifteen.

"Dead." Louisa smirked.

Fifteen times.

Piper retrieved her weapon once more, sighing. Her arm and shoulder were beginning to smart. "Don't stress it, Pipes, it's only ya first lesson."

"I know, but still… dying fifteen times is not fun."

"It ain't." Louisa agreed. "Ah, come on, you can do this. Pretend I'm Drew. Let's say ya wanna stab me in the face. But I keep stoppin' ya. What're ya gonna do about it?"

"Stab harder?"

"It's worth a try." Louisa grinned. Piper frowned, mentally cursing. "Where's that Beauty Queen fire I heard about? Let me see it. Stab my face."

"I hope you don't mean _actually_ stab your face."

"Eh, I ain't that fussed." Louisa shrugged a shoulder. Piper blinked at her, lowering her sword a little.

"Are… are you OK?" In response, Louisa disarmed her. Again.

"I'm great. You're dead."

"Argh, stop _doing_ that!" Piper felt the charmspeak flow into her words. Louisa squinted, pouting. She lowered her sword slightly.

"Pipes, we've been over this-"

"Yes, yes, I know. You're too stubborn for my charmspeak, that's just… insensitive."

"Bold of you ta assume I care." Louisa stuck her tongue out, eyes glittering cheekily. Piper huffed, hands shooting out to squish Louisa's face between them. Louisa could only squeak in response, eyes narrowing suspiciously. She blew a raspberry.

"No, stop it." Piper instructed. Louisa jabbed Piper in the ribs, effectively freeing herself. She rubbed at her face, grimacing.

"Leave me face alone, weirdo. Oh, hey! Sparky! Tell ya girlfriend ta stop grabbin' me face!"

"To what?" Jason laughed uncertainly. Piper threw her hands up. "Oh, not this again." Jason shook his head. "You," he aimed a finger in Louisa's face, "stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Whatever you do to Piper, stop it. Now." Louisa looked at him blankly. Jason sighed. "It'll be easier just to show you." He summoned his sword, tapping the flat of it on Louisa's head.

"I don't know what ya on about, but I ain't gonna turn down kickin' ya ass, Jay."

Piper moved back somewhat, sitting on the ground with a huff. They were already sparring, with the return of Louisa's usual ferocity. How they did not repeatedly skewer or decapitate or dismember the other, she wasn't sure- she was watching how they moved, but by the time she processed one particular skill, she had missed several more.

Louisa stabbed at Jason's head, he dodged and aimed at her leg. She twisted out the way, slamming the butt of her sword into his shoulder, staggering him. She spun the blade in her hand, ready to bring it down. Jason spun and deflected, a harsh scraping as their swords dragged along each other. Piper winced at the noise, momentarily distracted from staring at Louisa's shoulders. Stab, parry, stab again. Louisa ducked, dropping into a backward roll. Jason was a step behind, stabbing downwards at the dirt where she had been. Piper leaned to one side, taking this angle to appreciate her fine specimen of a boyfriend.

Louisa bounced to her feet, grinning wickedly. "I didn't realise I was fightin' Old Man Jason," she teased, "pick up the pace, gramps."

"Why am I nice to you?"

"'Cos ya love me." Louisa shrugged. Jason lunged. She whisked out of range, smacking the flat of her weapon on the back of his leg. "Is it ya hip? Ya need ya back pillow? Dementia settin' in?" Jason swung backwards. Louisa ducked, rolling between his legs. She landed on her forearms, kicking back into his stomach. Jason landed on the floor, winded, his sword slipping from his grip. Louisa laughed, cartwheeling into standing. She swung her arms, kicking out her legs, bored. "Ain't as much fun beatin' up geriatrics, Jay, get up."

"Why…" He wheezed, "would you… fight… old people… anyway?"

"I know at least three old people I'd happily deck."

"Just three?"

"Well, not unless ya include, like, _all_ the gods. 'Cept Hestia, she's my buddy. She don't give me stress." She embedded her sword in the sand, stretching while Jason caught his breath. She had her back to Piper, warming up her legs first, then her arms, rolling her shoulders. Piper sharply tapped her hands on her cheeks. _Jason, Jason is your boyfriend, stop it_.

Buuuuut… she couldn't help but stare a little- _a lot_. Yes, she was surrounded by highly trained demigods and _yes,_ Jason- fine-ass, sweet and kind Jason- was her boyfriend, but there was an air about Louisa that caught Piper's attention each time. It especially didn't help that Louisa wore a camp tank top, leather-bronze greaves on her lower arms and shorts. The girl was just a walking embodiment of power and Piper's weakness for fantastically sculpted muscles.

When Louisa smirked at Jason over her shoulder, Piper shifted, face warming, mumbling swears. Curly dark hair pulled back in a high ponytail, sea green eyes that gleamed with mischief and a lopsided smile. Piper didn't think it was very fair- beauty _and_ brawn.

Jason left his sword on the floor, rising and clenching his fists. "Aww, ya makin' it interestin'!" Louisa cackled. "A'ight, Grace, come at me, bro."

Jason did his best. But no matter how hard he trained, be it against her or anyone else, she always one-upped him some way. She kept pushing him, darting around him, aiming for his gut, his ribs, his limbs, cracking him across the jaw. Jason caught her in the shoulder, hooked his foot behind her leg and tripped her up. She simply vaulted, rolling and landing on her feet, bouncing, and then pounced. Shoulder-slamming him, spilling them to the floor.

Jason's cheek squished into dirt and he sighed, hands pinned behind his back. "I win." She smirked.

"Yes, you do." He grumbled. "Now, wave to Piper."

"Why?"

"Just do it." He felt one of Louisa's hands disappear.

"She's a bit pink, cuz."

"Yeah." Jason tried to get his arm free. "You still don't get it, do you?"

"No." He sighed, squirming to escape. She held fast. "Pipes, she's rather clueless, help me out here!"

"No!" Piper protested. "You have no right!" She waggled an accusatory finger at Louisa and then hid her face in her hands. An idea clicked in Jason's head.

"Lou?"

"Yeah?"

"You know how you like to stare at Reyna's ass? And don't even deny it, you're not discreet in the _slightest_."

"Who said I was meant ta be discreet?" Jason shook his head, leaning his forehead on the floor and taking five. Louisa pulled on his arm. "What is it, Grace?"

"What Reyna does to you, _you_ do to Piper."

"Oooooh, why didn't ya just say that?"

"Because it was obvious."

"Not ta me."

"I know that _now."_

"Hey, guess what."

"What?"

"I'm gonna steal ya girlfriend."

"I'll tell Reyna."

"Nah, dude, she's gonna help me." Louisa cackled, pushing on his shoulders to spring to her feet and shoving him back down. "_Piiiiipeeerrr_," she sang cheerily, "let's go for a walk!"

"Jason, save me!"

"No way out of it!"

"Lou, don't- oh, for the love of- I did _not_ sign up this." Jason sighed, pushing himself up. Piper called for him again, but she was showing very little resistant to Louisa dragging her out. "Lou, she's _my_ girlfriend!"

"Not for much longer!"

"_Lou_!"


	11. Mythomagic brings the boys to the yard

**Yay, I can see the reviews! **

**To RandomFanAuthor- (Chapter 9)- Of course Mr D ships Percabeth! They're like _THE_ OTP. And the stabbing thing- I was talking to my friend at the time (Hulkbat, if you're reading this, HELLO! ^_^ ) and suggested that as part of the reaction to the (FINALLY!) Percabeth proposal, someone should get stabbed. So my theory is that Travis panicked at all the screaming and accidentally stabbed Clarisse while training, or something to that effect! (Chapter 10)- Right? I mean, they are the cabin of love, so why shouldn't they be more LGBT+++ (I'm sorry, I forget all the letters! D: ) And Jercy brotp... I'm just thinking of an entire chapter where they're just 'bro?/bro!' and everyone wants to STAB THEM FOR IT. **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 6) I don't know if it's true, buuuut I headcanon that Will can sense medical anomalies and such just by touching people, like in BoO, how he touched Nico's hand and immediately felt the darkness on him and gave him doctor's orders for no more Underworldy stuff. And thank you! I am currently playing with old ideas combined with requests and just throwing in a bunch of new stuff, oooorrr they come from sleep-deprived me, which is my best state for writing, I find. Zero fucks given! I may do a Jiper one next- are we still talking grieving-Piper for Jason NAPPING? (Psst, _I woke him up_) and the Reyisa one will come a bit later as I wanted to space them out a bit more! I think I still need to post a Solangelo one? O.o (Chapter 7) Percico below! Jasper is next on my list! (But remind me, just in case!)**

**To zantarak- thank you! Follow up below! Enjoy! ^_^ Apologies in advance for any mistakes, I have a cold and can't breathe through my nose and I'm hungry, so... please ignore all bad spelling and grammar, it was not intended! ^_^ **

* * *

"Percy 'n' Nico sittin' in a tree-"

"I am _begging you_."

"Doin' somethin' they shouldn't be-"

"_Those aren't even the words_!" He clamped a hand over Louisa's mouth, thoroughly convinced his face was on fire. She smirked at him and he recoiled, shaking his hand. "_Did you lick me_?"

"Duh." She shrugged. "Oh, don't look at me like that, what else did ya expect? Dumbass."

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me?"

"Eh. Helpin'. Hinderin'. Same difference." She smiled sweetly. Nico groaned, falling onto his bed and face-planting his pillow. "Don't even think 'bout tryin' ta suffocate yaself." She said, pulling on his leg. "I have no problem comin' down ta the Underworld ta piss you off there too." Nico looked to his right, into the main section of the cabin, and sighed.

"I don't find that surprising in the least."

"Good. Means ya learnin'."

"Learning what, Lou? How much of a pain you really are?"

"Oh, buddy, you ain't seen nothin' yet." She cackled. Nico stuck his face back in the pillow. He only looked up when she sat on his lower legs, tying his shoelaces together between his shoes.

"Get off."

"Make me."

"Don't make me tell Reyna."

"Nah, dude, she'd love it! Another one on our side!"

"_Side_? What do you mean, _side_?"

"Gay. Bi. Whatever. I won't lie ta ya, cuz, I'm still learnin' all the words." She leaned from the bed, rolling onto the floor and coming up standing, with her bag in hand. She tipped the contents onto the floor, selecting a notebook from the debris. "Here, look, I've been writin' 'em down as I go. Piper's been helpin' me." When he didn't look, simply glaring at her instead, she proceeded to jab the butt of the notebook into his face over and over again.

Nico managed about seven jabs before snatching it from her. He sat up as he flicked through the pages- not only had she penned in variations of the LGBT community, she had also written herself little definitions and examples and some names too.

"What's this, Lou, your hit list?"

"Not so loud, Nico, don't want 'em all knowin'." She replied in a deadpan. "Nah, Pipes said I should ask other people 'cos everyone has a different situation. Those are people I've talked to. Dead helpful. Unlike you. Which is ironic really, considerin'-"

"Yes, yes, my father is god of the dead. I got it."

"Sure?"

"Yes. It wasn't funny the first fifty thousand times and it's not funny now."

"Dude, it's hilarious. Laugh."

"The day you make me laugh-"

"-is the day the Styx freezes over." She finished for him, smiling. "'N' just like every other time ya've said that, I've told ya- challenge accepted. I mean, completed several _million_ times-"

"Twice."

"-but still. Challenge accepted. You're a miserable bastard."

"Thanks, Lou, that instils me with confidence."

"Then my job is done."

"You didn't do anything."

"Not true."

"Oh, of course. You gave me a headache."

"You're welcome." She grinned. "Now are we gonna sit here all day while I take the piss outta you, or are we gonna get ya a boyfriend?" He flushed crimson and threw her notebook back at her, crossing his arms over his chest. "Point proven." She said, poking the side of his head with the notebook. "_Miserable_ bastard." He turned his head away. Louisa complained wordlessly, tipping her head back and rolling her eyes. "_Uuuuuggggghhhhhhh_."

"I'm not talking to you."

"Your loss."

* * *

They were playing Mythomagic later- well, _Nico_ was playing. Louisa was _cheating_.

"Water floods ya head 'n' ya brain explodes, _boom_, I win."

"For the _billionth_ time, that's not how Mythomagic works! Your attack points are rubbish compared to mine."

"Bitch please, Poseidon is_ way_ better than Hades, purely because he has more awesome kids than Hades does, but that's just a personal preference, totally ain't biased or anythin'."

"Totally." Nico agreed flatly. "Now will you _please_ play one game by the rules? Just one?"

"Nah." A knock at the door stopped him from shoving her cards down her throat. "Come in!" Louisa called. "But only if ya have food!" Percy stuck his head around the door.

"I've got some sugar cubes? What, I was on my way to see Blackjack." Louisa cleared her throat pointedly and he sighed. "And Storm, obviously. Can't forget Storm."

"Damn straight. What'd ya want? We're busy."

"I can see that." He nodded, a sarcastic lift of an eyebrow. Louisa pointed at him, pointed at herself, pointed back to him and then mimed breaking something. Her brother was instantly contrite, stepping into the cabin. "I actually came to see Nico. You know, being his cabin and all."

"Ah, bro. It's Friday. Ya know that's my piss-Nico-off day."

"I thought that was every day?"

"No. Tuesdays are for Annabeth."

"Oh, I bet she loves that." Percy forced a smile. Louisa cackled, shuffling her cards.

"_Noooo_ she does _not_! Draw four!"

"That's not even part of this game!" Nico exasperated, throwing up his hands. He ranted to her in solid Italian for almost a minute. Louisa plonked her elbow on her knee, her chin in her hand and listened, not understanding a single word, but rather enjoying this tone.

He waggled a finger in her face, still going. Louisa smirked and he faltered, exhaling like he was trying to deflate. "I hate you." He finally settled with.

"No ya don't."

"I do."

"Who buys ya Mythomagic, cuz? Me. 'Cos I'm awesome."

"Is that why you're always broke?"

"Yes, blame Nico."

"Uh, _please_! You spend just as much if not more on _food_!"

"A worthy cause! Speakin' of though, I am hungry. Ciao!" She sprung to her feet and left. But not before she closed the door slowly, smirking at Nico through the dwindling gap.

"Your sister," he huffed, "is going to get pushed down the stairs by a zombie and it won't be my fault."

"Sounds probable." Percy agreed, pushing the door shut on her and ignoring her protests. "Go and get food!" He ordered. She thumped the door, stomped down the steps and stormed off, muttering to herself. "I'm still convinced she's a changeling child. Or Mom _imagined_ having two of us."

"Pretty sure that's hard to imagine, given how painful childbirth is."

"Yeeeaaahh, that's…" Percy grimaced. "I can't argue with that. Mind if I sit?" He motioned to his sister's vacated spot on the floor. Nico nodded, also motioning to the same spot in case Percy had missed it. _Well, that was stupid_, he mentally chided, heart thudding as Percy sat opposite him and picked up Louisa's cards, _anymore bright ideas, di Angelo, or are you going to sit here with a face like global warming?_

_Probably that last one,_ a small voice responded, _it's easier to do, because we're already doing that. _

Percy frowned at the cards. "I still don't get this game." He admitted, shuffling through the deck. "Does she always have Poseidon?"

"Yes. She likes to cheat as well."

"That's just how she plays any game. It's no longer called _cheating_, but the _Louisa-special_. Do not play Uno with her, she gets upset and tries to rip your arms off. Well, slight exaggeration, but Tyson won't play with her anymore."

"I don't blame him. If I could get out of it, I would."

"Nah, you wouldn't." Percy smiled. "She drives you mad, she drives everyone mad, but you wouldn't turn her away from a game of Mythomagic, Nico. Your inner nerd won't let you."

"If she floods my brain and makes it explode once more, my inner nerd is just going to have to suck it up."

"Aww, she's a love, ain't she?"

"No. She's a dick." Percy gaped at him. "What?"

"Language!"

"Oh, like you're much better!"

"Erm, excuse _you_, but I am a true gentleman!" Nico scoffed. Percy ignored him. "Lou's the one with the sailor's mouth!"

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Maybe you need your ears tested then. Going deaf in your old age and all that." Nico frowned at him, narrowing his eyes slightly. Percy sat forward slightly, propping his chin up on his hand. "Trying to figure out who's the more annoying twin?"

"Yep."

"Decided yet?"

"Jury's still out."

"Well, let me know." Percy smirked. "I do have a reputation to uphold, after all."

"Wow, I must have blinked and missed it." Nico deadpanned. Percy snorted, sitting back slightly as he laughed. Nico ducked behind his cards, reaching a crisis-imminent-death level of global warming in his face. Percy Jackson, in _his_ cabin, with _his_ Mythomagic cards, laughing at _his_ joke. Gods, he was adorable.

He was startled from his thoughts by Percy messing his hair.

"I love your sense of humour." He grinned. "Come on then, teach us this nerd game. I'm keeping Poseidon though."

* * *

Louisa made her way back to Cabin Thirteen, wolfing down her fifth bacon sandwich. She made to knock on the door in her usual fashion, when she heard Nico swearing in Italian; "Those aren't the rules!"

"You said I could-"

"Not with Ares, _Athena_!"

"But I don't _have_ Athena!"

"Then you can't use that move!"

"Well, now what am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing, you've lost!"

"I have not!" Percy protested. "Uh, I use, uh… ah, there it is! I use my Thanatos card and revive the dead!"

"That's not how that works either!"

"Oh, for the love of- _I don't understand this game_! And it doesn't help you keep yelling at me."

"I'm not yelling!" Nico yelled. Louisa heard her brother's snickers. "Jury's in, you're more annoying."

"Told you." Percy grinned. Louisa moved away from the door, shoving the last of the sandwich in her mouth. She sidled around the edge of the building, standing on her toes to see through the window. Percy had stolen her seat and her cards, but they were all in the discarded pile and Nico still held most of his deck. Percy didn't notice her, his back to the window she was spying through. Nico did, glowering and frantically waving her away. Percy looked up and Nico froze, turning the _go away_ into a tired stretch. "Go again. But give me Athena this time- it's about time her and Dad worked together. Here, you can have Hera." They swapped cards. Nico threw Louisa another glare. She smiled around her mouthful of sandwich and gave him a thumbs-up, ducking when her brother turned. "Uh, everything OK?"

"It's nothing." Nico insisted. "Thought I saw an idiot."

"Might just be your reflection."

"You know what, I am no longer going to go easy on you. Prepare to lose. Spectacularly."

"Story of my life, that. Alright, let's go." Louisa stood back up, Percy's attention on the game. Nico cast one last wary glance towards the window, scowling when he saw she had returned. She pointed at him, then at Percy, made a heart with her hands. Nico looked ready to throw something at her, but Percy tapped him on the leg. "Your turn. I think I'm doing this right." Nico played his turn, sending one last _fuck off_ look to Louisa while Percy examined his cards. She puffed on the glass, writing _U O ME. _

Then she smiled, waved merrily and sauntered off, feeling rather victorious.

* * *

**Ta da! ^_^ **


	12. Clarification and confusion

**This one is after _Jambalaya, baby!_**

**Sorry for not updating yesterday, I was ill and literally went straight to bed D: **

**To RandomFanAuthor- Yes it was, it was one of the requests! I've decided to do a slow burn Pernico set, I feel Nico being Nico would be like that :P AND WHAT ARE THESE HEADCANONS, DO TELL! **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 9)- Neither a freak or lame! Some of us just aren't built for dealing with people! I know I'm not, ugh, I have the worst personality for customer service, like how do I still have my job? O.o Yes, the missing six months will be the start of the ToA rewrite and I will be posting it once I have finished the Tyrant's Tomb (I swear to gods, if anyone else NAPS, I'm gonna scream) Waking Jason up chapter- I have two sets- I've got one that sticks to canon, which is what I'm doing first. And then I've got the one AFTER I've woken him up and a slight spin on that. Sort of like two different timelines? Maybe three, but I'm not sure I'm going to do the other idea because it's spoilers for some other stuff aaaandd I don't know what I'm doing! ^_^ (Chapter 10)- will be as soon as I can! I started a new Jasper one-shot at work yesterday, I'm hoping I can post it later today. It needs some tweaking O.o**

* * *

Once Hazel had regained functioning lungs and Frank had come back to earth, Will was abundant with apologies and cursing himself. "I thought you knew!"

"_No_!" Hazel cried. "How did _you_ know?"

"When I touched your shoulder, I felt it!"

"You _felt _it?" She demanded hotly. Will dutifully slid down in his chair. Nico, still standing at his sister's side, examined her face carefully. She stared back at him, brow furrowing. He hummed in agreement, patting her head.

"I did feel something different about you." He admitted. "Now can you stop trying to stab Will? He doesn't always mean to be an idiot."

"Hey!" Will frowned. Hazel glanced down, dinner knife in hand. Her grip slackened and it clattered to the table. Frank reached out for her hand, trembling. She looked to his face, seeing her own questions and shock mirrored there. She blinked, tears still stinging her eyes. Words had replaced the jambalaya lodged in her throat. Frank hunched his shoulders, just as lost for words as she. "Am I still in trouble?" Will asked quietly.

"How…" Hazel began, attention flitting back to him. Will took this as a good sign, sitting up a fraction in his seat. "Is it… how long- what… what am I even supposed to ask?" Hazel floundered, fingers fluttering over her face. Will shot Nico a nervous look, sitting up some more when he nodded. He held his hand out to Hazel, a tingle shooting up her arm as a look of concentration crossed his features.

"You're only seven weeks along," he said, "which would make your due date about…" He did a quick calculation in his head. "Say November fourth?" He grimaced. "I'm sorry I… I honestly thought you knew."

"I do _now_." Hazel exasperated. Will let her hand free, smiling weakly. Hazel took a deep breath, looking back to her husband. Frank was staring resolutely at his plate, picking his lip, lost in thought. Nico tucked an arm around her shoulders, resting his chin atop her head.

"Word to the wise- _never_ let Lou babysit."

"Why would anyone even consider that?" Hazel shook her head. "No, no, I… I don't even know what to _think_, how can… Frank?" She touched his arm, making him jump.

"W-what?"

"Are… are you OK?"

"I… think so. Uh… give me a minute, that's…"

"A surprise?" Hazel finished for him. Frank nodded and she laughed humourlessly. "That's putting it nicely."

"You're… not happy?" Will asked carefully.

"Can I let it sink in first?" Hazel rubbed at her chest. "I think I've got jambalaya stuck somewhere."

"Save it for later." Nico suggested. "I'm going to be such a good uncle."

"You're as likely to babysit as Lou, shut up."

"_Such_ a good uncle, yep, yes I am."


	13. Scars and sorrows

**Bit of Jasper as requested- post-NAPPING. Just a small thing, will pick up later!**

* * *

Piper leaned a little closer to the mirror. Her hand shook, fingers quivering over the scar on her lip. A little memento, from the horrors. She only had to close her eyes for a moment and she could see the spear in his back; see it yanked out and plunged back in. No matter what she did, what she tried to remember, that was always there.

Three months. That's how long it had been. It could have been three years, three decades, three lifetimes. She would still see it. His legacy lived on, covering Temple Hill in glory to _hundreds_ of previously unknown gods. But Piper would give that all up in a heartbeat, just to apologise to him. While their split had been mutual, the guilt wrung from it weighed in her stomach like molten lead. Oh, how she would change things. They could have stayed in contact, they had still been close. All those months of barely two words to each other and now look at her. A scar on her lip, just like his. One of his hoodies, she had never returned it. And Temple Hill. What she wouldn't give just to speak to him one last time, to se his face, that smile that always seemed a little bewildered, but was genuine and showed every time he saw her.

She dropped her hand, gripping the basin as she began to tremble, tears burning her eyes. It should have been her, that night. Jason had had his life given away when he was an infant, he had lost his childhood to Lupa's training, he grew up knowing nothing but the Legion. And then he finally, _finally_, gets a shot at being a normal teenagers, attending a school, living a life away from monsters and quests and emperors, piling his focus into a project that aspired peace between the gods… and was killed for his efforts.

Piper wanted to scream and stomp and swear, she wanted to take her tantrum to Olympus itself. But what good would it do, really? There was no getting him back. She had lost him. Forever. At the cost of sparing her own life, a life she would throw away if it meant relieving him of a burden he never asked for.

But what of her dad? That wasn't fair. He was still not stable, struggling to settle in Oklahoma as his daughter withdrew into herself, turned sullen by guilt and grief and a rage she could not fully express. He understood nothing of the gods or the emperors or the camps; it would break him all over again. He gave Piper whatever space she needed, but seeing her own undoing threatened his state of mind.

Then an idea came to her, startling her somewhat. _Why hadn't she thought of it before_? She wondered, staring at her messed hair and red, puffy eyes, tears staining her cheeks in multitude. She wiped her nose on the back of her hand, picking up a prism with the other.

With the emperors out of the way, demigod communications were back up and running.

Nico did not look happy to see her, but was not surprised either.

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't call at all."

"I just want five minutes with him." Piper insisted. Nico's brow creased and he looked away. "Please." She pressed, charmspeak seeping unwittingly into her tone. Nico sighed, shoulders slouching.

"Give me an hour."


	14. Family restaurants aren't Lou-friendly

**To RandomFanAuthor- (Chapter 12) I WILL TRY TO! And I await the PM, I'm curious! ^_^ (Chapter 13) Yeah, that's right. SUFFER. **

**To zantarak- I will definitely be a multi-parter, but that NAP sounds rather tempting, not gonna lie :P **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 11) I thoroughly enjoyed writing that one! And I'm stacking my writing- so some of these I started while I was still doing the re-writes and the others are either requests or continuations of them! Little bit of Jasper for you in Chapter 13, but Leoisa will have to wait a little why, we've got Reyisa today! ^_^**

**Continued from the last Reyisa one-shot, I believe Lou ran off with Reyna's cloak!**

* * *

"Can I get down now?"

"Maybe."

"I can find a table."

"Uh, ya praetor. Ain't ya got, like, a special praetor-only table?"

"That means you're not allowed on it then."

"Bitch, I should be praetor, I'd be well good!"

"You keep telling yourself that." Reyna smiled. "Now put me down." Louisa glanced back, pursing her lips. Reyna shook her head, pressing a kiss to Louisa's cheek. "Better?" Louisa grinned and held her arms out to either side. Reyna dropped to the floor, straightening her cloak. "Thank you."

"Oh please, ya could've got outta that anytime." Reyna pretended not to hear her, joining the queue. Louisa bounced at her side, studying the menu above the counter. It was all in Latin, with a new Ancient Greek addition underneath.

"I don't know why you bother looking, you're only going to order the same as always."

"But I want ice cream as well."

"Mint choc chip." Reyna smiled. Louisa beamed at her. "And cheeseburger with extra cheese and fries. And a milkshake?"

"Banana!"

"Of course." Reyna shook her head with a soft laugh. Louisa extended her hand, grasping at the air until Reyna took it.

They were quick to be served, perks of praetorship, and shown to a table in a quieter section of the restaurant, softly lit and by a window, a floral patterned net curtain fuzzing their image of New Rome. Despite, their order at the till, Louisa still picked up the menu, examining the desserts selection. "Did you want chocolate cake as well?"

"Mmm, maybe ta take away. We could have it later, I'll make hot chocolate. Then ya can watch Jumanji."

"I'm sorry."

"So ya should be! Can't believe ya ain't seen that, it's an outrage, Rey-Rey. _Outrage_." Louisa shook her head, wrinkling her nose with disgust. Reyna tapped her fingers on the table and Louisa was quick to smile. "Ain't no excuse, it's _Jumanji_." And she returned to the menu, humming to herself. Reyna set her elbow on the table, laying the curve of her cheek in her palm. She was content just to watch Louisa as they waited on their food. The sparkle in her eyes as she examined the menu, or the childish little smile when she tented the menu on her head, the drumming of her fingers or the bouncing of her knee under the table, just lightly bumping into Reyna's leg every so often.

When the food arrived, she sat up straighter, the energy behind the movement spilling the menu-hat from her head, off the edge of the table and to the floor. Their waiter, a third generation legacy of Ceres, smiled and set their plates before them.

"Thank you, Angela." Reyna slipped her a few denarii.

"Thank you, Praetor." Angela stooped to collect the menu, Louisa having left it forgotten at the arrival of food. She already possessed a mouthful of cheeseburger, a smile creasing the corners of her eyes.

"Please forgive Louisa, her table manners are yet to improve."

"Oh, it's not a bother, Praetor. You should see the mess the Mars lot leave behind." Angela bowed her head and took her leave. Louisa was dipping a fry in her ketchup, a bit of melted cheese on her chin. Reyna selected a portion from her plate of empanadillas.

"Try one." She insisted, sliding the plate a little closer to Louisa. With a mouthful of fries, Louisa considered the plate, squinting suspiciously. "They are ground beef and potatoes, with sofrito and achiote." Louisa worked through her mouthful, frowning.

"Sof-what 'n'… what?"

"Sofrito. And achiote."

"I don't know what those are."

"There's no fish."

"Oh good. Gimme." She took a large bite, nodding at Reyna's other dish. "Maduros." Reyna smiled.

"So you _can_ get names right."

"Eventually." Louisa agreed, smiling sweetly. As per, they ate from each other's plates. Reyna had been set on expanding Louisa's otherwise American palate, only ever ordering Puerto Rican dishes. That was why they always came to this restaurant in New Rome- Angela put that little homely spin on meals Reyna had not enjoyed since she was a child.

And Angela always served them- she knew Louisa's habits. When she brought out their ice-cream, she provided them with a takeaway tub of homemade chocolate cake as well, two large slices, still slightly warm.

"No, no, Praetor. On the house, these ones." Louisa rummaged in her pockets, coming up with a handful of drachma.

"Ah, fuck. Ya'll take Greek? It's a tip!" She dropped them in Angela's hand anyway, nodding twice, pulled away by her ice cream.

"Lou, we talked about swearing-"

"Fuckin' shit bollocks bastard mother_fucker_."

"I am so sorry. No, don't laugh, Rico! Don't encourage her!" Rico, serving at the till, ducked dutifully behind the counter, but they could still hear him snickering. Angela had pressed her lips together, maintaining her composure, albeit the amusement in her eyes. "Lou, this is a _family_ restaurant-"

"You love me."

"In small doses."

"Ya always say that 'n' yet, ya _still_ bring me here."

"I question why."

"Good. Like ta keep ya on ya toes, Rey-Rey."

"My toes are tired. Eat your ice-cream."

"Way ahead of ya."


	15. Flick

**Where ya'll at? Been quiet on me reviews lately! :P **

**Short chapter today, continuation of the Solangelo! **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 13) It is SAD! That's why I wrote it! ^_^ And I will do! I need to do a little more work on the Frazel baby as I've only done a little bit where Lou is babysitting said baby (I know the characters keep saying she should never babysit, but it's such a fun concept to play with! ^_^ ) As for Piper talking to Jason, might take me a little while, I've lost my notes! D:**

* * *

Nico found Will sitting on the steps of the Apollo cabin, practising bandaging his own arm and muttering to himself. Louisa had not-so-discreetly parked herself a stone's throw away from Cabin Seven, pretending to watch the basketball game between Cabins Four and Eleven.

Will looked up as a shadow fell over him. It took him a second to realise who the shadow belonged to, startling to his feet and stumbling backwards over the top step.

"N-Nico," he stammered, "uh, hi."

"You OK?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry, was… lost in thought." He shook his head. "You sneak, I'm going to have to get you a bell or something." Nico raised a brow at this. Will could have sworn a smile briefly graced the corners of his mouth, but it was gone just as quickly.

They spoke at the same time. Will asked if he was free on Friday. Nico asked if he fancied McDonalds minus necromancy. That drew Will short, he fixed a stern look on the son of Hades. "What did I say about Underworld stuff?" Nico hunched his shoulders. "I'm pretty sure you don't get necromancy with Big Macs anyway?"

"Oh no, but I can with Happy Meals."

"No, you _can't_. Doctor's orders." Will put his hands on his hips. Nico met his gaze steadily, seemingly annoyed. Something mischievous lit his obsidian eyes and Will realised something. "You were asking me out, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"So… Friday?"

"Friday. I'll even get Jules-Albert to drive, although shadow travel is _so_ much faster." Nico shrugged. "Doctor's orders suck."

"Who's Jules-Albert and doctor's orders keep you from melting into nothingness." Will shook his head again, flicking Nico in the head almost reflexively. Nico flinched in surprise and Will froze. Somewhere, they could hear Louisa cackling. Nico's face looked as scarlet as Will's felt, his fingers brushing over the injured point of his forehead.

"Friday." He said again. "Meet me at Thalia's tree? About twelve?"

"Y-yeah," Will agreed distractedly, "yeah, will do." Nico nodded once and took his leave, breaking into a run when Louisa grinned at him. She glanced back at Will, flashing a double thumbs-up. And then she raced after her cousin. Will turned dazedly back into his cabin, dropping the strip of bandage on the cabinet to his left. He looked at his hand, motioned the flick again. "_How_ did he not rip your arm off?" He marvelled.


	16. Not the favour she meant!

**VERY SHORT CHAPTER TODAY! I split this idea rather awkwardly, so I will span it out over a few things! If there's any suggestions I've missed, give me a shout, my brain is not working today, like not even a little tiny bit! **

**And keep an eye out for my ToA rewrite! It will pick up RIGHT AFTER Blood of Olympus and will be SOON! Hehehe! ^_^**

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I never agreed ta this!"

"Consider it part of your training, cupcake!" Coach cackled gleefully. Louisa glowered at him. Nearly one-year-old Chuck blew a raspberry at her, rather amused that she was holding him at arm's length.

"Coach, I ain't good with kids, take him back."

"No. It's date night and you said you owed me a favour. So this is it."

"I meant, like, in a fight or some shit. Fuck. No! _Bastard_! Ugh, see, _that's_ why I ain't good with kids! I teach them bad words!" She tried handing the child back again, but Coach stepped away, hands raised. "Coach, I swear, don't-"

"Too late, Mellie's waiting. Everything you need is in the bag! We'll be back by ten!"

"Coach, don't you dare! Coach! COACH!" But he was gone, trotting away to meet Mellie. The cloud nymph waved and blew a kiss, calling out her thanks. She took Hedge's hand and they dissolved into vapour. Louisa stared at the spot they had been.

_What the fuck was she supposed to do now_?

She stared at the baby. The baby stared back, drooling and kicking his hooves. He stuck a chubby little fist in his mouth, snuffling and drooling some more. The bag was at her feet.

Yeah, this was _not_ going to work.


	17. Reyna, help!

**Continuation from the chapter before, feel like updating it again! Enjoy! ^_^**

* * *

Reyna didn't even look up as her door crashed open- that was how Louisa normally entered, so why bother?

"Reyna, _help_!"

She looked up then.

"_Did you kidnap Chuck_?"

"No! Coach called in a favour 'n' apparently that's _babysittin'_!"

"_You_ can't babysit to save your life!"

"Don't ya think I already know that?" Louisa wailed, hopping nervously from foot to foot. She had a large sports bag slung over her shoulder, bumping into her back with each movement. She held Chuck at arm's length, the infant giggling as she continued to hop, waving his hands and clapping. "Reyna, help me!"

"Whoa, what makes you think I know how to babysit?"

"You know everythin' else, _help me_!"

"I don't-" Reyna managed, face warming. She hurried around the table as Louisa kept hopping, taking the child from her. Louisa shook her hands, exhaling deeply. Chuck sat on Reyna's hip, using the shoulder of her armour as a teething toy, gurgling contentedly. "OK, now what?" Reyna asked. Louisa pulled a face, part-grimace, part-panic. She unslung the bag, dropping it at her feet.

"Coach said everythin' we need would be in here."

"Um, _we_? He asked _you_."

"Hey, I thought _we_ came as a _duo_."

"For fighting and dealing with idiots! Not _babysitting_!"

"Oh, gods, this kid is _screwed_." Louisa whined, pulling on her hair.

"Oh no, no no no," Reyna crouched in front of her, grabbing her arm, "if I can kill a giant and you can survive Mother Earth's assassination attempts, we can look after a baby."


	18. Don't piss off big sister

**Look! A third update! Ain't ya'll lucky? (Mostly because the last two chapters were short as fuck, so have this one!)**

**This iiiiissss after Nico and Lou meet. **

**I forgot to reply to reviews! D: **

**To zantarak- (Chapter 15) YES, THAT'S WHAT I WANT, LOTS OF YELLING! I AM WORKING ON THE FRAZEL BABY, I EVEN WENT AS FAR AS TO WORK OUT EVERY OC LEGACY'S BIRTHDAY, HAHA, LOTS OF THE FUCKERS! AS FOR THE JASPER CONVERSATION, I DON'T THINK I'M READY YET! T.T **

**To RandomFanAuthor- (Chapter 15) Can't go wrong with Solangelo! And (Chapter 17) the rest of that Reyisa babysitting is just a disaster, I don't imagine either of them are very good with kids! ^_^ AND IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, I WILL NERF GUN YOU. With love, obviously. The ToA rewrite begins with a different thing, I'm hoping I can post it within the next few day! **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 14) I am going to do as many as I can! But the ToA rewrite will be running alongside soon, so keep an eye out :D**

**Sidenote- I know this isn't really a shipping chapter, buuuuuuuut I'm just gonna pile all my one-shots here now, it's easier! Sorry! ^_^ **

* * *

"Here." Louisa held the stick out, the flames crackling. Nico made a face. "Dude, it's just a bit of rabbit. I had this all the time when I was on me own." He took the meat tentatively, sniffing it before nibbling at it. "Ya need fattenin' up, kid. Get some colour in ya face."

"I can fend for myself, Louisa." He replied curtly. She hummed dubiously, wiping her hands on her trousers. Treetops rustled overhead in a night-time breeze, glimpses of stars between the layers of leaves. Branches creaked, bushes rustled, twigs snapped, in the movements of the forest. Her bow leaned against her leg, set there while she cooked the rabbit for her companion.

Hardly a month, since he had fallen from the shadows, onto her head. But the change in him had been significant. While his skin grew paler, his clothing grew darker. Shadows circled beneath his eyes, his hair was in need of a cut. He had lost weight, lost whatever remained of his childish spark. She could hardly draw a smile from him.

It wasn't as if she expected him to remain unchanged. He had lost his sister, for gods' sake. How could he experience such pain and _not_ change? He carried grief and anger, he was bitter and frustrated. His sister died unfairly, in a cause that had left him alone, falling victim to a broken promise. He did not expand on this Percy, nothing beyond his cowardice and his failure. Forgiveness was not an option.

Nico took a bigger bite of the rabbit, tearing a strip away with his teeth. Louisa picked up her bow, checking the string. "How…" Nico began, clearing his throat. He chewed a little more, swallowed his mouthful. "How long were you on your own?"

"I dunno, uh… I ran away from the home when I was… five? About four years out here." She shrugged a shoulder.

"Four years?" He echoed quietly. Louisa inclined her head, listening to the woods around her. "How are you still alive?"

"I'm cool."

"No, seriously. How?"

"I will throw you inta that fire." She pointed at it, flipping him a warning glare. "Rewind that attitude, young man."

"I'm older than you."

"Not biologically. So, bleh." She stuck her tongue out. Nico wrinkled his nose, working his way through the last of the rabbit. Louisa tested the string of her bow, sighing. "What's the plan then, cuz?"

"I don't know. What do you think I should do?"

"Come home."

"I have no home."

"Our offer still stands."

"And I appreciate that, but I… I can't. I… I need to find my own path."

"To where?" Louisa demanded. Nico threw the stick into the flames, sighing.

"You won't understand." He said quietly, rubbing his hands together.

"Try me." Louisa challenged, meeting his gaze steadily. Obsidian eyes glinted coldly, willing her to be quiet. Louisa didn't blink. She had had worse stare downs.

Nico bunched his jaw, casting his gaze down to the flames, warming his hands before them. Louisa shifted where she sat, withdrawing an arrow, examining it as she spoke. "Wanna know what I think?" He grunted discontent. She ignored him. "A kid out of time, out of place. Ya find one home 'n' it don't go the way ya thought it would. Then the unthinkable happens 'n' now ya don't have a home or friends or family."

"Shut-"

"Correction," Louisa continued calmly, "ya won't _let_ yaself have a home or friends or family. Ya may not want ta stay at that camp, I get that. Ya may not want to be around people, I get that too. But I ain't gonna sit here 'n' tell ya what ya can 'n' can't do, ain't my place. It's _your_ life, kid, _you_ get ta decide what ya do with it. Just… I'm here ta help. If ya need food or a slap or even somewhere ta stay, I'm here. Don't forget it, OK?" She bumped her knee against his. "Now try 'n' sleep. No pun intended, ya look like the dead." Nico glared at her. Louisa raised a brow, nocking her arrow and rising. She turned to begin a walk of their perimeter.

"You're wrong." His voice drew her back. "Name one person that would want a son of Hades around."

"Me."

"You don't know who I am."

"'N' ya don't know who I am." She half-turned, settling a level look on him. "However bad you think you are, however repulsive or unwanted, however hated you think ya are…" Nico stared at her, noticed the tensing of her shoulders, the lowering of her eyes at memories untold. When she spoke again, her voice was toughened, distant. "I'm worse." She met his gaze once more. "Now go to sleep. I won't be far if ya need me."

"Why… why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?"

"'Cos I didn't have anyone ta help me 'n' I know what that's like. Now sleep. Don't piss me off."

* * *

**Also, question- I finished Tyrant's Tomb and, without giving any spoilers, Rick's canon does _not_ go with my canon, soooooooo should I keep the thing that Reyna did at the end or should I change it to suit _my_ canon? Aaaaand how would ya'll feel if I did two versions- one where Jason is NAPPING and one where he's AWAKE? **


	19. Pee sticks and Seaweed Brains

**To RandomFanAuthor- GO AND READ TYRANT'S TOMB, BUT BE PREPARED TO BE SAD! **

**To zantarak- Thank you! I LOVE the conversation Reyna and Apollo had at the end, like yes Reyna, that's my girl! Buuuuuuut completely knocked my plans out of the park, so I needed to ask! :D**

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 15) Is that the Solangelo date? I'm working on it! In the meantime, have some minor Percabeth, I think I worked it out they're about 21/22 here? Young, I know, but I've worked out the timeline now, I'm not changing it!**

* * *

Annabeth frowned at her reflection, too early to get her hairbrush caught in her curls. She left it stuck in her hair, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She didn't look any happier for it in the mirror, wincing as she tried to work the tangles out once again.

She was not one to stand and examine herself in the mirror, but she did today. Not that she could see anything out of the ordinary, not yet. Same wake-up grumbling expression, same blonde hair refusing to be brushed out, same grey eyes calculating themselves. She stood in a shirt she had stolen from Percy, pressing the material to her nose. Even now, after all these weeks of owning it, it still smelled like him, like the sea. If she listened carefully, Annabeth could still hear him snoring softly in the room next door.

Outwardly, yes, she was the same. But something had been niggling at her, now waiting on a confirmation. She tugged her brush from her hair, wincing again, and leaned forward. Beside the faucet, the little white wand that would determine whether or not she stayed the same. How long did she have to wait now?

By the time she had tied back her hair and brushed her teeth, she had her answer.

"Percy!" She called. "Peeeerrrrcccyyyy!"

"What, what?" She could hear him stumbling about outside the door. "Wait, where are you?" He tried the bathroom handle, yawning into his hand as he came in. "Where's the spider?" He mumbled, casting bleary eyes around.

"No spider."

"No spider? Wise-Girl, I love you, but it's _early_." He huffed. Annabeth smiled, holding her hands out to him. Appeased, he stepped into her embrace, tipping his head against hers.

"No, don't go back to sleep. I need to show you something."

"Mm? What's that then?" Annabeth pulled back, laughing.

"I said _don't_ go to sleep." She reached up, cupping his sleepy face in her hands.

"'M not." He mumbled unconvincingly. She pinched his cheeks and he squinted at her, offended. "I'm not." He repeated with a little more effort. Annabeth smiled, kissing his nose. "What did you want to show me?" Staying in his arms, she turned and reached to the sink, picking up that little, life-changing wand.

Percy went cross-eyed trying to figure out what it was. Annabeth waited for his brain to catch up with wakefulness, holding the wand in front of his face the entire time.

"Wait," he said, eyes sharpening, "is that-?"

"Yes."

"Are you-?"

"Pregnant." Annabeth confirmed. "Breathe." She added.

"Tooexcitedcan'tbreatheohmygodsyou'repregnantI'mgonnabeadad-"

"Seaweed Brain, will you _breathe_?" His solution to that was what she could only describe as partially muted screaming exhale. Then he started bouncing. Annabeth was picked up, dozens upon dozens of kisses dispensed all over her face. He laughed and spun them around, Annabeth clung to him as they nearly overbalanced several times. "Percy!" She squealed, laughing. He set her down, squeezing her to him as if to make up for the absence of spinning. He kissed her fiercely, unable to stop smiling.

Then he realised something, drawing away with an incredulous look.

"You put a pee stick in my face!"

"_That's_ what you're taking from this?"

"Nope! I'm gonna be a dad!"

"I know!"

"You're gonna be a mom!"

"I know!"

"Percy Junior!"

"Definitely not!" Annabeth laughed. Percy blew a raspberry on her cheek, snickering at her disgusted complaint. Then he drew away, crashing into the door frame on his way out. "Where are you going?"

"To tell everyone, duh!"

"Percy, I don't think it's any bigger than a grain of rice right now, just hold on."

"Wait, how far along are you? Ugh, we have to _wait_." He pouted before she even had a chance to answer. He scrunched his nose, shooting her a sidelong look. Annabeth rolled her eyes, suppressing a smile.

"No, I can't make babies spawn from my head."

"Just checking."

"And Percy Junior is still off the table." She said as he continued to scrutinise her.

"How about Sharkbait?"

"You are _not_ naming our child."

"Well, that's just rude. I have _excellent_ ideas."

"No you don't."

"Shut up, what do you know?"

"More than you, but that's not hard." Annabeth stuck her tongue out. Percy did likewise, his pout vanishing as his excitement flooded back. Watching him bounce on the soles of his feet, clapping and grinning and coming out with even stupider names, was infectious, and Annabeth couldn't help but join in.

She could only imagine Grover's reaction…


	20. Leo Valdick

**Tiny bit of Leoisa today! **

**To RandomFanAuthor- thank you very much! And you've still not told me these headcanons of yours! Didn't you call your Percabeth child OC Ariel? I love the aquatic names, but I'm pretty sure Annabeth would have something to say about it! ^_^ **

**To zantarak- honestly, their dynamic is hilarious- if anyone can curb Apollo's ego, it'd be Reyna, but not in a shipping way! Like, a grudging work friend way :P**

* * *

"Did I _ask_ for your opinion?"

"No, but as ya wife, I'm obligated ta give it." Louisa smirked. Leo fumed quietly at her, expression deadpanning. "'N' as the one actually carryin' the tiny human-"

"I knew you'd bring that up."

"-_I_ don't _want_ yellow."

"But it's a nice yellow!"

"But I _don't_ _want_ _yellow_!"

"Louisa, I love you, but dios bueno, Bubba is due in less than a month and you've already painted the nursery seven different colours."

"None of 'em are right!"

"So what do you want to do?" Leo asked, trying not to appear outwardly exasperated when she shrugged. He slid the paint pot back on the shelf, tucking his hands into his tool belt. "Why don't _you_ just paint a picture wall or something?" She started, an idea sparking in her eyes. "Honestly, if this is how it's going to be, I'm going to lay down a bet on homicide first."

"Oh, _please. _Ya'd've a snowball's chance in hell of killin' me."

"Undoubtedly, but I'm tempted to try."

"Bring it on, Valdick."

"Val_dick_, now?"

"Yeah." She stuck her tongue out. Leo picked the yellow back up and she frowned.

"No, no," he held up a hand, "we've got loads of the other colours left, you can use them to paint something."

"Need white."

"We'll get white as well." Leo nodded, moving along the shelf. "Uh, apparently there are, like, four different shades of white? How does that work?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you were the artist?"

"I am."

"Then why are there four shades of white?"

"Pretentious bastards." Louisa hugged him from behind, tapping her finger on _Cloud White_. He could feel Bubba kicking his lower back and smiled.

* * *

The cashier seemed amused to see them. Leo recognised him immediately, nudging Louisa. "What?" She demanded.

"This is how often we're here," he said, placing the paint pots on the counter, "we're on first name terms with Kyle. How's college going, Kyle?"

"Could be better." Kyle nodded, beeping through their items. "Bit behind on an essay; not quite sure how the portrayal of religion emphasises characterisations within the plot."

"Write some shit about symbolism," Louisa suggested, "teachers love that."

"And how would you know?" Leo protested. "Did you even finish school?"

"Did you?"

"I was busy."

"I was busier."

"_I was busiiieeeer_." He mimicked, wrinkling his nose. Louisa glowered at him sidelong, rifling through his wallet. "Wait, when did you get that?" Leo asked, belatedly checking his pockets. She smiled sweetly and paid Kyle. "Good luck with the essay, Kyle."

"Good luck with the nursery, Leo."

"One of those is more likely to happen than the other."

"I have zero problem smashin' ya head in with this." Louisa smirked, picking up the pots. Leo took them from her and she folded her arms, raising an eyebrow. He grinned, leaning forward to kiss her nose.

"I'll have Kyle as an alibi."

"Fuck off, will ya? I get Kyle in the divorce."

"Wait, when was I in the marriage?"

"Aw shit, we forgot ta tell him."

"Might not have if we didn't have to repaint the nursery every two seconds."

"Every five, get it right."

* * *

"How're we getting on?" Leo asked, sipping at his coffee. She took the second mug from him without looking around, the scent of hot chocolate filling her nose. She didn't answer, filling him stand at her shoulder, his free hand sneaking around her waist to rest on her stomach. He surveyed the wall. They had painted it white together yesterday and now she was filling in an image that took up every square inch of the wall.

The Argo II emerged over the hills, bronze gleaming in the rising sun. They were headed for the sea, past golden sandy beaches with a galloping herd of wild pegasi. She had yet to colour the ocean, but had mixed paints for it in three different trays, blobs of darker and lighter colours on the edges. She aimed the end of her paintbrush at the horizon.

"Gonna put a volcano there, on the right-hand side of the sun."

"With lava?"

"Of course." She grinned. Leo beamed and kissed her cheek. Bubba squirmed under the warmth of her drink, Leo's hand moving over the bump to follow the motion. Louisa pressed the handle of the brush to his cheek, gently turning his attention to the pile of boxed furniture that still needed assembling. "You're the repair boy." She smirked when he huffed.

"Chica, we've been over this. I don't like building something that doesn't explode." She cooed mock-sympathetically, tapping the handle on his nose instead.

"Get on with it."

"Uuugggghhhh, fine. Bossy boots."

"Valdick."

"You're a Valdick!"

"Nah."


	21. Reyisa VS Satyr Diaper

**Continuation of Reyisa babysitting Chuck! **

**To RandomFanAuthor- Hope your report card came through alright! Let me know! ^_^ **

**To HoO Fan- I _may_ do two versions- I've got the NAPPING one fully planned out, I just need to work on the AWAKE version a little more. It really did fit her character and I'm so glad that's what she's decided, but it MESSES WITH MY PLAN, so I shall stick with my canon for simplicity's sake, but YAY, GO REYNA! And I'm saying nothing, see aforementioned PLAN.**

* * *

Ten minutes later, they discovered that was absolute bullshit. Chuck was crying on the floor, kicking his hooves and balling his fists in protest, the bag had been emptied and the contents strewn about, diapers and wet wipes mixing in with Reyna's paperwork, baby blankets abandoned on her furniture, toys underfoot and pacifiers materialising from thin air. Louisa had tried toys, food, making shapes from water and pulling stupid faces, but Chuck only cried more.

There was one thing they hadn't done.

"Oh gods, it's the diaper, ain't it?"

"Dibs not it."

"No, don't do that!"

"Too late, _dibs_ _not it_."

"Fuck's sake, Reyna! Oh shit, I meant- fuck. No! _Uugggggghhhhh_, I can't do this!" Louisa, sat in front of Chuck on the floor, drew her knees to her chest, crossing her arms on top and hiding her face in them.

Reyna did the logical thing and Googled it. She crouched beside Louisa, tapping her shoulder and showing her a video.

"There's online tutorials for _everything_, let's just use these."

"Holy fuck, you're amazin'." Louisa marvelled. Reyna's face felt hot, but she urged Louisa into action. She found a diaper and the wet wipes, while Reyna located the changing mat and a diaper bag. She spread the mat out on the floor beside Chuck, who was definitely starting to smell now, and lay him down.

Between them they managed. After much gagging and complaining- _it was in the fur-_ and it took far longer than either of them would ever admit- it came a close second to the disaster in Albania- buuuuut_… they had done it_.

Chuck was clean, he had settled to a whimper, gnawing on his knuckles until Reyna handed him a tin can. He only had a few teeth at the moment, but they were enough to render that can irreparable and unrecognisable.

Louisa had the fun job of taking the dirty diaper away. She held it at arm's length, all but running to the kitchen to drop it in the trash. Reyna could hear the water running as Louisa vigorously washed her hands, muttering to herself. Chuck looked up at Reyna, a smile creasing the corners of his eyes as he bit a large chunk from the can.

"You are too cute to be so disgusting." Reyna told him. Chuck giggled, a good slathering of dribble coating the sad remains of his chew toy. The smell of that diaper was in her nose- gods above, she was going to be smelling that for _weeks_. "What time did you say they'd be back?" She called out.

"Ten!" Louisa replied, shutting the water off. Reyna glanced up at the clock.

_It wasn't even seven._


	22. You're an asshole, Jason Grace

**To Ravimar- (Chapter 21) Ahaha, they're chaotic dumbasses, it goes splendidly! ^_^ **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 19) There _is_ a Leoisa child I have that is Charlie Michael Valdez, named for both Charlie Beckendorf and Michael Yew! As for the Jackson kids, I am sayyyyying nothing! D: And some Twins shenanigans? I can do that! (Chapter 20) And thank you! I do not like a pairing if there is absolutely no heartless banter between them! And a magician never reveals their secrets! ^_^ **

**To RandomFanAuthor- (Chapter 21) I can't even manage three minutes with a small baby, they just don't like me! :P It's alright though, I personally never plan on having children, hell no, do you _know_ where they come _from_? Big ouch! **

**To zantarak- oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh, you mean _this_ chapter? 3:)**

* * *

Piper hadn't seen Nico call on ghosts before, watching with a morbid sense of fascination. He had arrived on her doorstep within the hour, as promised. They walked a little way out view, after reassuring her father, before he took her arm and slipped into the shadows.

They emerged in a clearing, almost as dark as night beneath the tree canopy. A cold wind blew, seemed to groan, as if it could sense the spirits due. She shivered, tucking her hands under her arms. Nico said nothing, stepping forward and crouching beside a hole he had dug. Rectangle, several feet deep. She watched quietly as he scooped up a handful of dirt, letting it fall between his fingers.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Piper nodded fiercely. His dark eyes regarded her for a moment, a tick working in his jaw. Time seemed to slow down, but only seconds had passed when he decided to stand.

It was all she could do, to force herself to focus on him as he chanted. Her mind twinged with doubt- what if he didn't show? She couldn't bear to give the notion credit of existence. If this didn't work, she was in half a mind to just fall into that hole and have done with it all.

White misty figures began to gather. Nico spread his hands, falling quiet for a moment. When he next spoke, his voice was gravelly, croaking with a grief he did not want to show in front of her; "Jason Grace, I call on you." He paused, clenching his fists nervously. "Come forward and speak, if you wish." For a long, chilling moment, nothing happened. Piper felt something crumble in her chest- he wasn't coming.

But then a figure stepped forward, crouching as if to observe the pool of Happy Meals and milkshakes in the hole. More of a grave, really, but she didn't want to call it that.

The figure stood, its features sharpening. He took a moment to consider them, smiling that bewildered, sweet smile, his glasses crooked, blonde hair silvery under his own spirit energy. A sob caught in her chest and she would have surged forward had Nico not held his arm out.

"I have one thing to say to you, Jason Grace." He said, doing his best to look angry. "You're a fucking idiot."

"I missed you too." Jason said, biting back a laugh.

"He's right though." Piper croaked. "You really are the _biggest_ fucking idiot." And then she couldn't help herself, bursting into tears. Her hands trembled as she ranted about him _to_ him, about how stupid and careless and brave and selfless and idiotic he was. She admitted she still had his hoodie and refused to apologise that she had never given it back. She was sorry their relationship had been built on deception of a goddess that had taken away his childhood and she was sorry he had suffered so. She didn't care that Nico was there, listening, but having the decency to pretend he wasn't.

"You're an asshole, Jason Grace, and I miss you, but you had no r-right to do that, n-no _right_!" She heaved a shuddering breath, drying her face on her sleeve, only to start crying all over again. "I'm sorry we ended on bad terms, but I didn't want to _avoid_ you! You're still my friend, I-"

"I'm sorry too." He cut across, smiling sadly. "I wanted to talk to you, more than anything. But I thought you needed space." She scoffed, throwing up her hands and drawing out his confusion once more.

"_Dying_ gives me too much space, you dumbass! Gods, I wish I could slap you!"

"I feel like I deserve that."

"You do! _Bastard_! Nico, can you summon someone to slap him for me?" Nico glanced at her, taking the idea under consideration. Jason watched him expectantly, but there was no further input. She swiped her arm over her face again, sniffing loudly. She was undoubtedly a red-eyed, puffy-faced snot monster, but she didn't care. She gave herself a moment to look Jason over, a sense of odd relief coursing through the pain of seeing him in her chest. She had been so worried he wouldn't appear, she had hardly noticed her other worry- _would he still have the wounds that brought him here now_?

"I heard you reached Elysium." Nico said. "How is it?" Jason grinned, clenching his fists excitedly.

"It's fantastic! I made some new friends!"

"That's… good?" Nico puzzled. "Odd place for it, the afterlife, but… well done." He nodded, clearing his throat. Jason turned to Piper, his expression softening.

"If it could have been avoided," he said, "I would have given you the biggest hug and- and I would not have given you so much space. I'm sorry, Pipes, I am." He smiled again. "But don't worry about me. I'm happy, honest. Beckendorf, he's- he's a son of Hephaestus, so different to Leo." He shook his head, wiping at his eyes. "Tell that dork I'm sorry. Give him a hug from me, OK? And a slap, he's undoubtedly done something stupid."

"OK." Piper nodded, laughing with shortened breath.

"I met your sister too- Silena. She's great, Piper, you'd love her. Please don't feel guilty. It was my choice."

"But nothing else was." Piper mumbled, tears welling once more. Jason sighed.

"I know. But I'm free now."

"Hefty price to pay!" She protested, voice wobbling. Nico nodded in agreement, bowing his head to wipe at his eyes. Piper stepped towards Jason, towards his _spirit_, gesturing wildly as if that could get her whole emphasis across. "I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know that I'm _sorry_! I can't change what happened, but gods I wish I could. You deserved better, you _deserve_ _better_, even now. I… once upon a time, I thought we could… we could be _happy_, you know? I know things didn't work out, but… I never wanted… _this_." She motioned at him, sobbing, biting her lip to keep her composure just a little longer. She stood just the other side of the hole to him now, reaching for his hand without even thinking. His form began to fade near her living flesh and her shoulders slumped, defeated. "You shouldn't have had to… to _die_ for freedom, for happiness. You had earned it over and over, and I-"

"Piper."

"-no, don't interrupt me, you asshole, I'm still mad at you."

"I noticed." He gave another of his sad smiles, mixed with his usual bewilderment. She did a double-take at his eyes, as blue as they ever had been, her own upset mirrored there. When she didn't cuss him out some more, he continued under gentle tones. "I never did thank you."

"For what?"

"For being my only normalcy. I didn't truly realise until we broke up. I'm grateful, Beauty Queen. You were a godsend and I can't… I can't thank you enough." He turned to Nico, who was looking paler by the second. "I'd best go before Nico passes out. Thank you for calling me here today, but aren't you under doctor's orders?" He tipped his head, smiling crookedly when Nico glowered. "I also heard you're not as much of a shut-in now?"

"Fuck you, Grace." Nico defied. Jason laughed, breaking Piper's heart all over again.

"Jason?" She said, pulling him back to her. "I love you." He smiled wistfully, already beginning to fade.

"I love you too."


	23. Dumpster Spies are bad at their job!

**To zantarak- Excellent! I'm hoping to do some more Jasper one-shots, maybe even ones where he's AWAKE! ^_^ **

**To RandomFanAuthor- Aawwwww, I'm sorry. Actually, I'm not! Mwhahahahaha! And I saw you reviewed on an old Leoisa thing- thank you! I enjoy writing sarcastic little fuckers, mostly because I am one sarcastic little fucker myself! ^_^ **

_**Sooooolllllaaaaaaaaangggeeelllllloooooooooooooooooooooooo**_

* * *

"And that is how you raise the dead with a Happy Meal."

"Which you won't be doing."

"Apparently."

"Which you _won't_ be doing." Will repeated, smiling a little too brightly, eyes wide and murderous. Nico sipped at his milkshake, once again re-evaluating the son of Apollo. "I _will_ tell Lou." Nico scowled and nodded assent. Will's smile softened into something more approving and he went back to his burger. "Why a Happy Meal anyway? Why not a wrap or a Big Mac or something?"

"I want the toy."

"Oh, of course." Will tapped himself on the forehead, going boss-eyed and sticking his tongue out. "Forgive me for asking such a stupid question."

"You're forgiven, but don't make a habit of it."

"No promises!" Will beamed. Nico sighed.

"This is going to be a short-lived date." He grumbled into his burger. Will laughed victoriously, pointing at Nico so suddenly, he startled and lost a gobbet of melted cheese.

"So you admit it! This _is_ a date!"

"I did not- I never- I said- you- you- you shut your face, Solace."

"Oooh, scary man." Will waggled his fingers at him. If possible, Nico's face felt hotter.

But Will seemed rather pleased with himself and Nico couldn't bring himself to argue his point, as null and void as it was. He had debated this to himself and Louisa _and_ Piper _and _Reyna- because, naturally, his dear, darling cousin had told them- but they all knew. They were simply waiting for his brain to catch up.

Will reached across to take a fry from Nico. Nico, on instinct, smacked his hand and then froze. Normally, he smacked _Louisa's_ hand, she _always_ tried to steal his food. Will snorted at the floundering panic casting Nico to rant in slightly high-pitched Italian, acquiring a fry in this distraction. "You're not very good at this, are you?" He teased, brow raised. Nico spluttered and blew a raspberry. "Aww, it's alright. I bet you still call this 'courtship'."

"I do _not-_"

"Careful, gramps, your heart might give out."

"-kill you-"

"I'd _love_ to see you try." Will smirked, rolling his eyes. Nico frowned and kicked him under the table. When Will proceeded to laugh, Nico began shovelling fries into his mouth, glowering. "Very nice." Will remarked. Nico's brow creased, puzzled. Will spread his hands. "You're trying to choke yourself in front of someone trained in CPR and mouth-to-mouth."

And that got the reaction he was hoping for. Nico immediately choked, spraying bits of chewed fries. Will offered an angelic smile, pushing Nico's milkshake closer to him. "You're too sweet, Nico. So proper. So pure. We _really_ have to bring you up to modern times."

Will's solution to Nico's old-fashioned-ideals was to take him for a walk and point out simple things, like horseless carriages and giant metal birds that carried hundreds of people thousands of miles above their heads and magic boxes where people predicted the weather and the smaller magic boxes people used to contact other people- "Not that you'd know what communication is, you hermit."

"You keep this up and I'll push you under one of those 'horseless carriages'."

"Awww, first date homicide."

"It is not-!"

"Stop denying it."

"I-" Nico stopped short, backtracking a few paces.

"What?" Will asked, tipping his head to one side. "You OK?"

"I think we're being followed?"

"Followed? Monsters?"

"Worse. Louisa Smith-Jackson, will you _kiiiiiindly_ fuck off?!" For a moment, there was no response. Nico clenched his fists. "I know you're there, you asshat!"

"_Asshat_?" She protested, popping up from behind a dumpster. A hand grabbed her arm and yanked her back down, shushing her loudly. Will bumped his shoulder on Nico's, grinning slyly.

"I'll have him back by eight, Lou!" He called.

"No!" She defied, struggling with whoever else she was with. "Seven!"

"Lou, what part of _discreet_ did you not understand?" Piper hissed.

"The 'creet' part!"

"We are _not_ teaming up next time!"

"_Next time_?" Nico demanded. Piper's head appeared from behind the dumpster. She had gone the extra mile to paint black stripes on her face, a black cap over her hair.

"Ssssh, go away!" She instructed. "Go and enjoy your date!" The charmspeak affected Will and he grabbed Nico's hand to pull him along. Nico stood his ground, glaring at the dumpster spies. "Alright, alright, we're going!" Piper held her hands up, swearing when she lost Louisa. "Get back here!"

"No!" Louisa cackled, scrambling up the fire escape and disappearing onto the rooftop. Nico waited until Piper had joined her before letting Will tug him away.

"Look, Nico, _electricity_."

"Do you _want_ to die?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"It's a threat."

"Oh no, I'm terrified. Let's go!"


	24. Bitchin'

**To RandomFanAuthor- OF COURSE HE IS! ^_^ **

**To HoO Fan- awww, another broken heart to my collection! And why? Because it's fun. Haha. Suffer. But thank you! **

**And Leoisa finding out about Frazel baby. Cue bad role models:**

* * *

"You're _what_?"

"Pregnant, Lou."

"Ew, why?"

"Um…"

"No, don't answer that." Leo advised, elbowing his wife. She blew a raspberry at him. Hazel flipped a bewildered look between the pair of them. Louisa rubbed her hands together.

"Right," she said, "where's Frank? I need a word."

"No, you don't." Leo poked her. "Behave." He smiled at Hazel. "Name it Leo."

"No."

"Rude." Leo pouted. A small being crashed into the back of his legs and he looked down. Elsie peered up at him, smiling cheekily. "Hello, mija." Leo grinned, scooping her up and sitting her on his shoulders. "Check it out, Bibi- Tia Hazel is going to have a baby too!"

"Sister!"

"Cousin." Louisa corrected kindly, looking around. "Mm, we're missin' one. Hazel, bear this in mind- they disappear quicker than ya blink. Kia!" She called, moving further into the apartment. She found Frank in the kitchen, putting lunch together. "Oh, hey, I need a word with you!"

"Oh gods." Hazel laughed. "Leave Frank alone!" Movement behind the sofa caught her eye and she smiled. "Kia, are you going to come and say hello? I'll be upset if you don't." Hazel hadn't even finished her sentence when her niece sprung from behind the couch, roaring and racing forward on little legs. Hazel beamed, crouching and catching the toddler in her arms.

"Tia, Tia!" Alokia exclaimed eagerly, letting Hazel kiss her cheek. Elsie kicked her feet to get down. Leo deposited her in Hazel's other arm and went to find Louisa.

Frank was hiding behind a cupboard door, holding a frying pan on his head. Louisa was trying to get to him, wielding a rolling pin. If she got within three feet, he turned into a snake and sent her cursing backwards.

He popped up behind another cupboard door, spying Leo.

"Help!" He pleaded. Leo caught Louisa from behind, smacking the rolling pin from her grasp. Frank breathed a sigh of relief. He stepped out from behind his make-do shield, but the pan remained on his head. "Thanks, Leo. I… she's scary."

"I am most aware." Leo grinned, kissing her cheek. "Come on, I've left Hazel with the terrible two."

"I just wanna say congrats!"

"You want to break his hand."

"Break his dick."

"Leave him alone!"

"Help!" Hazel called. Leo dragged Louisa out, trying to send Frank reassuring looks over his shoulder and probably making it worse.

Alokia had somehow climbed onto Hazel's head, Elsie was upside down, giggling. Louisa forgot Frank for a moment, catching Elsie. Leo coaxed Alokia down, setting her on the floor.

"Go and play." He encouraged. They grinned and toddled off. "You alright, Hazel?" She huffed, feeling her head.

"I am now, thank you." She eyed Louisa warily. "Where's Frank?"

"Still alive, if that's what ya mean."

"I thought you liked Frank."

"I do."

"This is her big sister instincts kicking in." Leo translated. Frank stuck his head out of the kitchen, having replaced the frying pan with a more substantial cooking pot. Hazel stifled laughter, pushing past Louisa to go and comfort him.

"It's alright, Frank, just ignore her." She smiled, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. He relaxed a little, wincing when Louisa pointed at him and mimed breaking something.

Hazel helped Frank dish up lunch, following Will's jambalaya recipe. Alokia regarded it distrustfully, poking at her small helping with a plastic spoon. Elsie was happily tucking into it, but only from her mother's plate, sat on her lap. Louisa didn't seem to mind, eating from Elsie's dish.

"Mama…" Alokia wailed, wrinkling her nose. She pushed her plate away, sticking her tongue out. She hunkered down in her seat, folding her arms. Leo glanced over, making a face at his youngest. He smiled at Frank, oddly proud.

"She only eats food if I cook it."

"Would have been nice to know." Frank grumbled. Louisa reached across, sliding Alokia's plate towards Leo. The toddler sat up a little straighter, watching them carefully, arms still folded. Flames crackled at Leo's fingertips and he wiggled his fingers over the food.

"There," he said, "fixed it, mija." He slid the plate back over to her. She beamed at him and immediately tucked in. Hazel and Frank shot him bewildered looks. Leo grinned lopsidedly, tapping his forehead knowingly. "You'll get all this fun as well, don't look so miserable." He grinned slyly. Hazel laughed nervously, Frank became highly invested in his meal. Louisa frowned at her husband, booting him under the table.

"Dick." She chided. Elsie gaped at her. "Don't repeat that."

"If they grow up to swear as much as you-" Leo began, faltering when she expectantly smirked at him. He fidgeted with his cutlery, grumbling wordlessly. "No cake." He eventually muttered.

"Oh no, the horror." Louisa deadpanned. "How ever will I cope? I've just realised somethin'."

"Thought I could smell burning."

"Fuck you. Don't repeat that either." She looked at Hazel and Frank, narrowing her eyes. "Yours is gonna be the most polite kid _ever_, ain't it? Gonna be sittin' fannin' their face 'n' trippin' over shit that ain't there- don't say that. I swear ta gods, Frank Zhang, if it turns into a _snake_ at _any point_, I will kick ya ass- no ya can't say that one." Elsie pouted. "No swearin'." Louisa instructed seriously. Leo snorted. She kicked him again and called him a bitch.

Alokia chose that moment to chime in, splattering her plate of food on her head and giggling.

"Bitch!" She grinned.

"'N' thaaaaaaaaaat's my job done."

"_Louisa, I'm going to kill you_."

"Bitch, _please_."

"Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch!"

"Yeah, you're definitely not babysitting ours."

"Tragic."

* * *

**Aaaaaaaaaaand my ToA rewrite begins tonight! Not going to update as often, so I don't run out of pre-written chapters, _but it's coming. _**


	25. Routine

**To RandomFanAuthor- well, her full name is Alokia, but they all just call her Kia. Never linked it to the car brand before though! :P And her mother is a bad influence, don't encourage her ^_^ **

**To KotlcExpert521- I am trying for a continuation of the Percico lot, only done a little bit though D: but thank you! I will do my best! **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 23) And I know Nico's caught up with 21st century stuff, but I like Will teasing him for being an old man ^_^**

* * *

"You're going to get us barred."

"Nah, we're their best customers!" Louisa laughed, swinging their arms again. Reyna carried their tub of cake in her free hand. The sunset had begun, painting gentle oranges and pinks across the New Rome skyline. The evening was cool, quiet for the most part. Pure silence never lay across the camp, it was not something the Romans knew. Reyna did not mind it. It was like listening to the coqui frogs in her childhood home.

"It is still a family restaurant, Lou, there are children-"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"You're not."

"I… can try ta be?" She made a face. Reyna laughed despite herself, tugging on her hand to still the swinging. The praetorium came into view and Louisa grinned, lurching forward. "Jumanji time!" Reyna did not object, more concerned on not dropping their cake.

Louisa was quick to set the film up, once in Reyna's flat, but she did not play it until she had pulled apart the sofa and built a fort from the cushions and blankets. She bundled pillows and more blankets inside, set a flashlight on the floor, though they hardly needed it. The glow from the television was light enough, a sereneness settling about the room once the curtains were closed.

While she was doing this, Reyna had a quick shower, changing into her nightwear. She settled in the fort while Louisa washed up and changed as well. Five minutes later, they were both nestled in the fort, the film seconds to start and Louisa's hot chocolates cupped in their hands. The cake tub sat between them, two spoons resting beside it.

They lay on their fronts, shoulder to shoulder. Louisa reached out to squeeze Reyna's hand or wrist every so often, making sure she was paying attention; so frequently so the contact, that Reyna began to do it back. They finished their hot chocolates as the kids found the board game, worked their way through the chocolate cake. Louisa fumbled with the spoon in her right hand, complaining when she dropped it. Reyna elected to feed her to avoid the whining, cooing teasingly. "Little bubba." She smirked.

"No talkin', Jumanji is on."

It didn't take long for Louisa to fidget, sitting up, lying back down, leaning on Reyna. She was focusing on the screen, but her mind made her body restless of its own accord. At the seventh or eighth change in seating within two minutes, Reyna sat up as well, tucking an arm around her waist and leaning her head on her shoulder. She lay her hand, palm up, on Louisa's knee, smiling at the familiar weight and coldness of Louisa's fingers around her own.

"You've had too much sugar."

"Sssh, _Jumanji_!"

"Lo siento, mi amor." Reyna kissed her cheek. In the flickering light of the television, she was sure a rosiness had settled in Louisa's expression, but she didn't get to confirm- Louisa gently gripped her chin and had her face forward again, another shush.

By the time the film finished- far more enjoyable than Reyna had anticipated, given Louisa's tendency to exaggerate- Louisa's sugar high was coming down, but she was still in dire need to spring up and burn out the build-up of repressed fidgets. Reyna remained in the fort, tidying somewhat and adjusting the cushions and blankets.

Once satisfied, she moved to the bathroom, finding Louisa brushing her teeth, making faces at herself in the mirror. She waved at Reyna's reflection, bumped her with her shoulder as she stood beside her at the sink, picking up her own toothbrush. Louisa mumbled around the foam of toothpaste, bowing slightly to spit and then repeating.

"How cool was that film?"

"I can see why you like it."

"If ya tell me you _don't_ like Jumanji-"

"Of course I do, can never go wrong with Robin Williams."

"Thank fuck for that, I was gonna kill ya with this." She waggled her toothbrush, rinsing it under the tap when toothpaste bubbles fell on her knuckles.

"I'd prefer not to be killed by something that's been in your mouth."

"Rude." Louisa grumbled. Reyna gave a soft laugh around her toothbrush, watching Louisa's reflection. Louisa stuck her tongue out, freeing her hair from its ponytail to run her fingers through the tangles. With her free hand, Reyna reached for the pink hair brush she kept by the sink, without a second thought.

It was only when she held her toothbrush in her cheek, to free her hands and brush out Louisa's hair when she was cursing at the tangles, did Reyna notice. They had picked up a routine. Beyond Louisa's self-appointed role as Reyna's second-in-command, beyond the cloak-stealing and arm-swinging, even beyond going out for dinner and coming back with chocolate cake to watch a film in their fort- this was… simpler. But it felt like _more_.

Reyna couldn't put a word to it, a fluttery feeling somewhere in her chest as she brushed and braided Louisa's hair for the night. Louisa was a disaster in every sense that Reyna was a praetor. While one was organised and hardworking, driven and leading, caring and decisive, the other was chaotic and flighty, hot-headed and back-up, fussing and impractical. They could not be more different. Reyna knew that; she had heard the whispers. Why had Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, praetor of the Twelfth Legion and famed, beloved daughter of Bellona, slayer of Orion and returner of the Athena Parthenos, chosen of the goddess's aegis, settle for a daughter of Neptune? Why build and strengthen and rally when the other could so easily bring it all down?

"Rey? You OK?"

"Mm?"

"I mean, ya finished my hair, like, an hour ago 'n' ya ain't let go."

"It wasn't an hour." Reyna argued lightly, dropping the finished braid between Louisa's shoulders.

"Fuckin' felt like it." Louisa smiled, turning. "Everythin' OK?" Reyna nodded, wetting her toothbrush to finish brushing her teeth. "Ah, damn, Rey-Rey. If I knew Jumanji was gonna make ya'll quiet, I'd've put it on sooner."

"Oh, shut up." Reyna shook her head, stifling laughter. She rinsed the toothbrush, dropped it in the pot beside Louisa's. Louisa stretched her arms over her head, half-yawning, half-whining. Reyna slipped her arms around her waist, resting her chin on her shoulder. Louisa's arms fell about her shoulders. "Thank you."

"Uh, it's just a hug, Rey."

"No. For coming back."

"Aw, Rey, ya know I'd never leave you with these idiots."

"You mean you're the only idiot I should tolerate."

"Obviously. No, wait, that's rude." Reyna could hear the pout in her voice, laughing at it. "Bitch." Louisa chided. Reyna drew back and kissed her nose.

"Want to bunk in your totally stable fort tonight?"

"Hey, my fort is a work of _genius_."

"If it comes down on my head during the night, I was not the last person to see you."

"Ditto."


	26. Fuckin' Sharkbait

**To zantarak- (Chapter 25) My Tyrant's Tomb can go two different ways, maybe three... we shall see, hehehe. But thank you! ^_^ As for the cameo/ Caleo Reyisa double date, ummmm... there's a thing that I can't do because spoilers, uuuuhhhh bear with bear with**

**To RandomFanAuthor- HELL YEAH, GOOD TASTE, MI AMIGO!**

**Aaaaaand Grover's reaction to the Percabeth baby. And Lou's. Can't leave Lou out. Spent so long writing the bitch in! **

* * *

"I'm sorry, you're _what_?"

"Pregnant, Grover. I'm pregnant." Annabeth pressed her lips together, resisting the urge to snicker at his dumbfounded look. She may as well have told him she was an alien clone of the Annabeth he had known all these years, here to harvest their spines and their strawberries. Two seconds later, humour got the better of her and she snorted. "Percy, I broke Grover."

"Nooo, don't break Grover," Percy protested, squashing the satyr in a hug, "he's gonna be, like, the _best_ uncle ever. G-man, use your words."

"_Pan's pipes_, you're _what_?"

"Use your words at a lower octave." Percy corrected, wincing.

"I," Annabeth said slowly, "am. Pregnant. Tiny human. Wee bubba. Bun in the oven. Etc. Etc." She didn't finish her third 'Etc.' as it clicked then. Grover bleated- they weren't sure if he was happy or terrified- but he threw his arms out for a group hug, frowning when Annabeth didn't move instantly. Percy reached over and hauled her in, kissing her forehead and beaming.

"I can already feel the migraines coming on!" He half-sobbed, half-laughed.

"Awww, Grover!" Annabeth cooed teasingly, playfully tweaking his nose. "You're going to love it, don't complain!"

"_I'm_ the uncle?"

"Hell yeah!" Percy grinned. "Number One Uncle Grover! My best bro, of course you are!" Grover wheezed as Percy crushed him in a bear hug, hooves lifting off the floor.

"Seaweed Brain, don't squish him!"

"Five more minutes." Percy requested. Annabeth quirked a brow and he set Grover down, keeping an arm around his shoulders instead. Grover inhaled deeply, massaging his ribs.

"I think I need a lie down."

"Nah-uh, you've gotta help me think of a name!"

"Perseus Jackson, you are _not_ naming them!"

"Oh gods, what's he said?"

"Sharkbait. Percy Junior. Nemo. Ariel. Fin-"

"I _like_ Fin!"

"You don't mean Finn, two n's, you mean Fin as in fish fin!"

"Duh!"

"No."

"Funsponge."

"Oy, what ya fuckers doin'?" Louisa shoved her way between Percy and Annabeth, folding her arms. "Hey, Grover." She smiled, giving a quick flick of her fingers in greeting. "Why'd ya look like ya gonna pass out?"

"Percabeth baby."

"Percabeth _what the what the what_?" Louisa hopped over to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Grover, staring her brother and sister-in-law down. "What the _shit_ is he on about?"

"Percabeth baby." Percy repeated simply, two seconds from bouncing excitedly again. Louisa stared at him incredulously, brow furrowed as she debated something over in her mind. Probably murder. That seemed worthy of her debate time. Grover's gaze darted between the twins, unsure if he should step in between or get a camera. "You're going to be an _aunt_, Lou."

"Nah-uh, fuck that shit."

"You're going to be a _terrible_ aunt, Lou." Percy nodded.

"That's more like it. Wait, what the fuck, why? Ew, no, ugh. Babies are _evil_, have ya seen where they come from?!" She demanded. "No no no, fuck no!" Annabeth smiled tightly.

"Yeah, I was trying to worry about that later."

"'N' then they cry 'n' shit 'n' vomit everywhere 'n' cry some more 'cos they're covered in shit 'n' vomit, fuck _no_, it's gonna be like him, I don't need two Percy's, no thank _you_! Blondie, why ya doin' this ta yaself? D'ya want me ta kill him for ya, I'll kill him!"

"She's happy." Percy translated, putting a hand on Louisa's head to stop her gutting him with her bare hands. Grover was holding onto her arm with both hands, realising he probably should have got that camera. "Deep down." He added at his sister's glare. "Lou, you're great with Estelle, you'll be fine with a niece or nephew." She grimaced. "And it's not like it's going to be here any time soon…" He trailed off, looking sceptically at Annabeth.

"It's still not going to come out of my head."

"-so you've got a few months to prepare." He finished, pouting.

"Why the _fuck_ would it come outta- ooooh, Athena, brain child, yep, yep. Gods, that'd be so much easier if ya could. Ah, Blondie, ya mental, mental mental mental."

"Um, coming from you?" Grover questioned.

"Exactly! It's a compliment! Have ya told Mam?"

"No. Percy wants to surprise her, make a little game or something." Annabeth shrugged a shoulder. Percy grinned and nodded eagerly. "Maybe you can help him, Lou. And try and talk him out of naming our first born child _Sharkbait._"

"What, why'd I do that? That's _awesome_."

"Hell yes." Percy beamed. They high-fived. Annabeth put her head in her hands, groaning.

"Grover, help me."

"Oh, no no no, you married into that family, they're your problem."

"Yeah, and you've got an empathy link with Percy, so _you_ are part of this family as well."

"There's no way out of this for me, is there?" Annabeth glowered at him from between her fingers. Grover sighed. "I expected as much. Shall I get Coach and his bat? Ooooh, he might just use that on you two- ten drachma says he brings up that whole stable incident."

"Wait, how'd you know about that?" Percy frowned. Louisa held her hand up, grinning devilishly when he turned his frown on her. "You little snitch."


	27. You owe me dinner, you pain in the ass

**Apologies for not updating last night! I had an early start at work this morning and needed some sleep! D: I am open to requests again for these one-shots if ya'll still interested, just give me a shout and I'll do my best!**

**Last bit of the Reyisa babysitting chapters! **

* * *

Quarter past seven, they had a new problem.

Chuck could crawl.

Louisa had tried to get him to stay sitting in one place- that made it easier, right?- barraging him with toys and stupid noises, picking him up each time he tried to move away. But when he started to cry, she was quick to set him back down again, throwing her hands up in innocence. Reyna was sat at the table, trying to hurriedly finish her paperwork in case Chuck clocked it and wanted to eat it. The tot settled for crawling under the table and sitting on her foot, chewing on the hem of her cloak.

"Wow, Athena's aegis is baby-proof." Louisa laughed nervously.

"Baby-_satyr_-proof." Reyna corrected. "That's even better." Her cloak did not relent to his satyr teeth, so he spat it out and crawled on. Louisa followed after him anxiously, itching to put him back where he had been, but not daring to pick him up again. She darted ahead of him each time he saw an open door, sealing him into the main room, much to his displeasure. He wailed, sitting back on his diapered bottom with a soft _thump_, kicking his legs once more. Louisa crouched, hugging her legs, three feet in front of him, her expression intermingled with panic, worry and a major WTF.

Chuck wriggled and griped, eventually managing to turn himself around. He crawled back to the table, deciding to chew on the leg of Reyna's chair. "Hey!" She protested. "That's mahogany!" Louisa snorted. "What?"

"Nothin', nothin'." She shook her head. At Reyna's glower, she started and began scrambling through the cascade of baby items. She dug up another tin can from somewhere, waving it about in the infant's face. "Eat this, not the chair. I can replace a tin, I can't replace Reyna's chair. Too expensive."

"It's your own fault you're broke."

"Is not!"

"You tried to buy skateboards for _jellyfish_, Lou."

"I thought it'd be awesome!"

"Can't skateboard underwater, _Lou_."

"Not with that attitude, ya can't, _Reyna_." She stuck her tongue out. Reyna did likewise, returning to her paperwork. She felt Chuck's tiny hand batting her shin, heard his gibberish. "No, eat the can, eat the can. Stop eatin' Reyna's stuff or she'll kill me."

* * *

Twenty to eight, problem number three.

With teeth marks on most of the surfaces, Reyna's armour and Louisa's hands- those hurt like a _bitch_\- Chuck seemed to have tired himself out. He was whingeing and grumbling, rubbing at his eyes, and complaining. Reyna was on YouTube, Louisa huddled next to her, trying to figure out how to put a grisly baby to sleep.

They tried swaddling him- he chewed on the blanket.

They tried playing lullabies from Reyna's phone- he cried more.

They tried feeding him- he spat it out.

They tried rocking him, walking around with him, laying him on the sofa and patting his back, bribing him when things got a bit desperate and then- in sheer panic- suggesting to drug the child into slumber.

"Please never become a parent." Reyna said, pulling on Louisa's arm.

"Oooh, I don't plan on it. Go ta sleep." She ordered. Chuck sniffled, bottom lip trembling. He flung his arms free of the blanket for the millionth time and Louisa swore colourfully in Latin. "This is the last time I'm doin' a favour for Coach."

"Well, you now owe me a favour and that's worse."

"I'm sorry I dragged ya inta this, Rey-Rey, but I didn't know what else ta do."

"Uh, _Hazel_? _Frank_? Literally _anyone_." Louisa wrinkled her nose.

"Ain't seen ya all week though." She mumbled, fidgeting with her hands. Reyna's protest died on her tongue, silenced into mulling over Louisa's words. Chuck filled the silence for her.

"Ba-ba-ba-ba." He said, swatting at the air. "Ba-ba-ba-ba." He had been doing this for a while- they had just chalked it up to goatly bleating or the baby-satyr equivalent of baby chatter.

"Wait a second…" Reyna sat up a little straighter. "He's _not_ bleating."

"What?"

"Bleating sounds different. He's… listen." Louisa did, brow furrowing. Reyna stared at her. Surely '_ba-ba-ba-ba_' meant something? "Do… do you think it's, like, a toy or something? Maybe he can't get to sleep without a toy or…" Louisa was on her feet, scanning the wreckage of the bag Coach and Mellie had so carefully packed. Reyna stayed beside Chuck, making sure he didn't roll off the sofa.

Louisa tossed soft toys her way each time she found one- little animals or hand-stitched monsters and heroes. They had gone through what felt like a whole barnyard of these things before Chuck stopped 'ba-ba-ba-ba'-ing. He squealed and kicked his legs when Reyna caught the next one.

"Ba-ba-ba-ba!" He demanded excitedly, grasping at the air with his chubby fingers.

"Which one is it?" Louisa queried.

"Um, I think it's a cloud nymph." Reyna pressed it into the child's grasp and he clutched it with all the caring ferocity a child his age could do. Louisa returned, leaning over Reyna to adjust the blankets around him, building a wall with more blankets and cushions, so he didn't fall. Within the minute, Chuck was asleep.

Reyna and Louisa inched away as carefully as they could, not breathing sighs of relief until they were out of earshot in the kitchen.

"I am _never_ doin' this again." Louisa said firmly, dropping her head on Reyna's shoulder with a sulky huff. Reyna patted her back.

"And you are _never_ making me do this again, either."

"Deal." Louisa agreed and they shook on it. "Babies are horrible."

"They are." Reyna nodded. Louisa sighed, shifting slightly to fiddle with the straps of Reyna's armour. "What are you doing?"

"Praetor hours are over, get ya armour off."

"And be chewed to pieces like your hands? No, thank you." Reyna turned her nose up. Louisa pouted, not relenting on the armour. Reyna sighed. "OK, OK, I'll do it. You just want a hug, don't you?"

"I _deserve_ one."

"Yes," Reyna agreed, unbuckling the straps, "one tight hug right around your throat."

"If ya offerin'…"

"No, you are _not_ leaving me with baby-duty." Reyna quickly wriggled out of her armour. Louisa grinned and crashed into her as soon as she armour-free, bear-hugging as she always did.

"You're too good ta me, Rey-Rey."

"Not sure why. You're a pain in the ass."

"Aww, thanks for noticin'."

"Ugh, you owe me dinner."

"OK."

"For a week."

"Weekdays."

"_And_ weekends."

"With dessert?"

"And starters!"

"Ah, damn. I really am broke now."

"Get used to it." Reyna smirked, kissing her cheek.


	28. Stop spinning!

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 24) did you have someone in mind for this random couple no one would ship? (Chapter 26) Sharkbait is DEFINITELY not a child appropriate name! And yes, I'm sticking with my joblot of Jackson kids, I spent too much time on them to write new ones! Yes, there are seven, three of them are triplets! None of them came from Annabeth's head, no matter how hard she tried! **

**To RandomFanAuthor- Preach!**

**Bit more of Lou and Nico's past, I am working out details. May focus on the Trouble is not restricted to Paradise story for a bit...**

* * *

"Left a bit. Not that much left." Louisa patiently corrected his aim and he fired. He was targeting an apple, hanging from a branch about ten feet over their heads, about twenty feet away. His arrow skimmed the fruit, nicking the side, juice trickling from the tear. Nico sighed, lowering his aching arms.

"Your bow is too heavy."

"I'm sorry I can't magic up one of ya own, cuz. Ya gonna have ta make do. Now aim left."

"But not that much left?"

"Now ya gettin' it." She offered him a fresh arrow and an encouraging smile. "Nearly had it that time, try again."

"Fine." He grumbled, reloading. Louisa adjusted his arms a little, pointed out a few things about his stance.

"Pull back ta ya cheek, that's it. The longer ya take ta aim, the more wobbly ya gonna shoot. Load, aim, fire, done. Get that apple, Nico." Nico fired. The apple vanished. An excited, incredulous gasp escaped him.

"Did I get it?" Louisa ventured forward, following the arrow's path before it had disappeared in the bushes. She leant down, spinning on her heel as she straightened, brandishing an apple skewered on an arrow.

"You got it!" She beamed. Nico grinned, a victorious bounce in his step. He started forward, then remembered himself, faltering. He looked at the bow in his hand, smile dimming. Louisa's hand fell on his shoulder. "Hey, what is it? Ya got the apple. Ya can eat it now, if ya want."

"I think I'm done for today."

"But… OK. How 'bout some sword work, gods know ya need it."

"No. No, thank you, I…" He hesitated. "Thank you for your help, Louisa." He pressed the bow into her hand. She gave it a slight shake and it shrunk back into her watch. He could feel her trying to decipher him, the weight of her gaze. "Lou, I'm fine, stop trying to read my mind."

"How'd ya know I'm tryin' ta read ya mind? Could be tryin' ta set you on fire. Who knows?" Her grip tightened on his shoulder and she smiled. "Let's get some lunch. Hotdogs on me. Nope, no way out of it!" She threw an arm around his shoulders, whistling loudly. "Ya ain't met Storm yet, have ya? Ah, ya gonna love her." She stood, head tipped back to watch the sky through a break in the trees. Nico wanted to ask who Storm was, wanted to wiggle out of her hold. He had quickly learnt that she liked to surprise him and getting free was another ordeal all on its own.

The answer to his question did not take long, not even a minute of waiting. "There!" She grinned, pointing out a dark speck in the sky. It grew closer and closer, Nico could see the outlines of wings and then a horse. His heart skipped a beat.

_It's not Blackjack_, he told himself, _ she called it Storm, it's a different pegasus. He's not here. _He glanced askew at Louisa as she waved and called to her pegasus. She knew Percy's name, knew what he had done, or failed to do. She did not know his heritage.

And he was going to keep it that way, for as long as he could.

He had known right away who she was. The same dark hair, the tanned skin, the same sea green eyes. But she carried herself differently, born of a different nature. She would not have let Bianca die. She was not a coward.

The pegasus landed. Now the creature was out of direct sunlight, he saw she wasn't jet black like Blackjack, but a dappled, dark grey with a raven mane and tail. She stomped her hoof and whinnied a greeting. Louisa beamed, dragging Nico forward. "Storm, this is me cousin, Nico. Nico, this is Storm. Say hello." Nico mumbled unintelligibly. Louisa sighed. She took him gently by the wrist, laying his hand on her snout.

Storm snorted, huffing hot breath over his palm. "Yeah, he's Hades' kid. Cool, right? Got another Big Three brat to fuck shit up." Storm headbutted Nico in the chest, eyes gleaming with a smile. Louisa grinned. "She says it's nice ta meet you."

"You… you can talk to her?"

"Oh, yeah. Pegasi, horses, zebras. 'N' fish. Joys of Ne- Poseidon-y stuff. Here, has ya dad got any sacred animals? Wonder if you can talk ta them…"

"Most animals hate me." Nico said stiffly. "They can sense death."

"Nah, can't be it. Must be that grumpy look on ya face." Louisa smirked. Storm neighed, snuffling at Nico's face. "See, Storm likes ya." She tipped her head to one side, Storm now burying her nose in Nico's hair. "Here, she says she'll give ya a ride, if ya want. You ain't lived ta ya've flown a pegasus, cuz. Come on, up ya go." She pushed him gently in the back. Nico immediately protested. "It's _fine_, I ain't gonna let her drop you."

"But-"

"Try for two minutes. If ya don't like it, we'll come straight back down, OK?" Storm pawed the ground, nodding in agreement, tossing her mane. Louisa instructed him where to put his foot to climb up, jumping up behind him with ease. "Mind how ya go, Storm, nervous rider." Storm fluffed her wings, turning her head slightly to look her human in the eye and snort indignantly. "I know ya know that, but Nico don't know ya know that, does he? He don't talk horse." Storm whickered, stomping her hoof. "Ugh, fine, sorry," Louisa held her hands up, "he don't talk _pegasus,_ my deepest apologies. Ya'll sound the same, don't see what the problem is. Yes, I know ya've got wings! Just- use ya wings 'n' go, for the love of-" Storm took off before Louisa could finish her sentence, launching into the sky. Nico scrambled for handfuls of mane, pulling himself forward and throwing his arms around the mare's neck. Louisa held onto him tightly, the sky spinning into a vortex around them. "Storm! I said _nervous rider_, not _make him a nervous rider_! Fuck's sake, ya had one job!"

"Please stop spinning!" Nico requested, squeezing his eyes shut as his stomach began to churn. They lurched and the whirling stopped. Louisa huffed behind him, her hold loosened a little and then altogether.

"Ya can look now, cuz. She's gonna behave." Nico carefully opened one eye, his cheek smushed to the mare's neck. He opened his other eye. The ground was far below them, he could see the entire sprawl of the city in the distance, grey behind the expanse of green. Clouds floated overhead, the air was cool and pleasant, tickling his exposed skin. The sun was at their back, warming him through his aviator's jacket.

Louisa patted his head, laughing. "If ya think that's cool, wait until ya see the bastards at the bottom of the ocean. They'll rip ya arm off given the chance. 'N' the rest of ya body."

"That sounds like an amazing trip, sign me up."

"Keep the sarcasm up 'n' it won't be voluntary."


	29. Profitable ship shirts

**Sorry for not updating this one in a while! I was trying to write some more!**

* * *

Louisa shipped it. And she wasn't very discreet about it. With the help of Travis Stoll, she was selling 'Team Solangelo' T-shirts by their one-month-anniversary. Nico had triumphantly burned a box, but hadn't realised she had hidden six more. In retaliation to his pyromancy, she wore a different coloured one every day for a week. Nico didn't even _look _at anyone wearing one.

Until…

He shuffled into breakfast, yawning into his hand.

"Nico!" Will grinned, waving from his table. He jumped up and Nico froze.

"Oh no."

"What?" Will puzzled. Nico pointed, pressing his lips together. Will looked down at himself. "Oh." Bright blue 'Team Solangelo'. He looked back at Nico, grinning. He spread his arms and turned around. Nico thought his head was going to explode. Between his shoulders, 'Sol'. Austin threw him something, a wad of black cloth. Will fanned it out, showed him the back- 'Angelo'. Louisa popped up at Nico's side, slinging an arm about his shoulders so he couldn't escape.

"Cool, huh?" She grinned.

"I hate you."

"Join the club." She held out her other hand, making grabby motions. Will threw the T-shirt her way and before Nico knew it, she had wrestled it over his head and was ordering him to put his arms through. Nico glared. Louisa's eyes hardened in a look he was all too familiar with- _cooperate or I will make this worse. _

Nico didn't doubt her. So he put his arms through the sleeves and sighed. Will crashed into him, laughing and squeezing him. If it had been anyone else, Nico would have put them on their ass. But Will… could somehow get away with it, his hugs weren't torture. Before him, only Hazel and Louisa could occasionally sneak a hug from him. Hazel's hugs were fine, soft, short and simple generally, but Louisa's hugs would crack his ribs and lift him clear off the floor. Will's were warm and soft, but firm and more often than not, reciprocated.

Chiron called to Louisa and she huffed, wandering off. Will leant back, resting his hands on Nico's shoulders.

"She said she's sold most of the T-shirts now. She's got a new target for her next batch."

"New target?" Nico quizzed.

"Won't tell anyone." Will shrugged. "Come on, let's get you fed."

* * *

Three months in, Nico was amazed. Will was still with him, generally buzzing about somewhere. Louisa's next target had been poor Leo- or _Leonidas_. Leo was not impressed, especially when people called him his full name more than anything else.

"Leo has the patience of a saint." Will remarked one day.

"I'm sure he's plotting something." Nico stabbed at the dummy. Will hummed, crossing his legs and propping his medicinal herbs book open in his lap. Nico cut the head off the next one, spun and gutted the third. Will considered him for a moment. Immediately, his doctor-side took over. Nico had gained weight the last few months, looked less pale and less gaunt. The shadows under his eyes hadn't improved much, but Will knew his sleeping pattern had. He was on top of his training, arms lean. He twisted his sword in his hand and smashed the hilt into the next dummy's helmet. He turned to Will, a question on his lips. He stopped short, wiping at his forehead. "Are you…?" Will realised he was staring.

"Yes." He said unabashedly. This time last month, Nico might have gutted him like a training dummy. Now, Nico just blushed. He quickly turned away, but not before Will had seen him smiling bashfully.

He dispensed of the last of the dummies in quick succession, scattering straw and cloth about the floor. Will closed his book and stood, stretching his arms over his head. "I've got archery now, but I'll carry on checking you out later." Nico spluttered, crimson. Will laughed, taking this distraction to move towards him. Nico wouldn't look him in the eye. Will switched hands with his book, curling his fingers under Nico's chin. "Could be worse." He grinned, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "Lou could've heard me."

"Don't you _dare-_"

"I'm not that stupid, but nice to know you have faith in me. Ciao." Will took his leave, almost bumping into Percy and Louisa on the way out. They were bickering, unsurprisingly, but from what Will could gather, it wasn't anything worth fighting over.

"I'm tellin' ya, stick it on the grill for a couple of minutes, bit of onion-"

"I'm not taking cooking advice from someone that set fire to the oven trying to _boil an egg_."

"I forgot it was there!"

"_How_? You were three feet from it!"

"Like you could do better!"

"Like that's hard! Will, can you tell this _loon-_"

"Fuck off, I'm right!"

"You never are!"

"I always am!"

"You're not right _setting fire_ to an _oven_ we've had for _three months_ trying to boil a frigging _egg_!"

"I'll boil you in a minute!"

"As much as I want to get involved in, uh… _this_… I have archery to get to. Nico's inside, ask him. I'm sure he'll _love_ to help!" Will darted off, but not before he heard Nico cursing him- _Solace, I will end you!_


	30. Theeeeeeeeeemmmee park!

**Someone asked for a theme park thing- I've added every canon couple I could. This is what I have so far, I'm thinking of doing a bit between each couple, so any particular requests, let us know! **

**To RandomFanAuthor- I revel in chaos ^_^**

* * *

"Twins, you are _not_ spending this _whole day_ on the water rides."

"True." Percy nodded.

"We're gonna get food too." Louisa grinned. Leo cleared his throat, patting his hand on his chest. Louisa squinted, tipping her head to one side. "Ya'll hear somethin'?"

"Feed me!" Leo protested.

"Feed yaself, dickwad!"

"Unfair!" Leo pouted. Reyna took a step closer to Louisa, settling a teetering-on-the-edge-of-imminent-violence look on Leo. He laughed nervously. "On second thought, not that hungry! Cal, look! Tunnel of love!"

"Is that as cheesy as it sounds?"

"You know it!" Leo grabbed her hand and dragged her away. Louisa snorted. She saw Jason and Piper pouring over a map of the park, heads bowed together. Hazel was patiently waiting beside Frank, holding his arm as he watched a rollercoaster plummet from the peak of an arch. Percy was already trying to talk Annabeth into the romantic ride, but Louisa couldn't tell if he was being genuine or being a little shit.

"It won't be like last time!" He promised. Piper's head snapped up, sensing drama.

"What happened last time?"

"Got stuck in a net and attacked by tiny robot spiders while being broadcast live to Olympus by statues of Cupid."

"Huh."

"Not what you were expecting?"

"Not in the slightest." Piper confirmed. She made to say more when Louisa yelped and swore.

"Holy sh-_ Nico! What did we talk about_?" Nico simply smiled and shrugged. Next to him, Will doubled over, hands on his knees.

"Ugh." He groaned, a little green. Louisa bowed, poking him in the forehead. "Give me rollercoasters over shadow-travel any day." He managed, heaving and covering his mouth.

"I did say it takes some getting used to." Nico said evenly. Will just groaned. "If we attract, like, a buttload of monsters today, I will not be happy."

"Liar."

"No, truther. Can't be bothered."

"He wants to go on the ghost train." Will supplied.

"And add some real ghosts, don't forget. That's the best part." Nico's eyes glittered with mischief. Will lifted his head to frown at him, going from green to grey and dropping his head.

"No… more Under… worldy stuff… di Angelo."

"Oh, bite me."

Reyna tugged on Louisa's hand, pointing up at the ride Frank had been watching. She was asking a question, but her eyes said Louisa had no choice. Louisa, having expected both the ride suggestion and the look, offered a shrug and let Reyna pull her along. Frank had elected not to go on that ride, so he and Hazel wandered off to have a look around instead. Piper and Jason rock-paper-scissored their ideas, Piper beaming and kissing his cheek when she won.

"Let's go, Sparky!" And she rushed off after Reyna and Louisa, hauling him along by the arm.

That left Percy and Annabeth still debating the tunnel of love and Nico and Will, who was looking more his usual colour now.

"I'm not spending all day on the ghost train." Will told him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Can we go on that one?" Nico pointed at the loop-de-loop.

"I don't knoooow, are you tall enough?"

"Fuck you, Solace."

"If you insist." Will smirked. Nico flushed crimson and punched him, but Will only laughed. He glanced over at Annabeth and Percy. "How much do you wanna bet they'll still be here later?"

"Not anything you can afford. Let's go."

"That was harsh."

"You love me."

"I do."

* * *

They reached the top of the arch, Louisa wiggling excitedly in her seat. She gripped the harness keeping her in place with one hand and held Reyna's with the other. "Go go go go!" She beamed. Reyna glanced over at her. The ride was designed to let them hang, just for a bit, teetering at the top. "Come on!" Louisa protested. "Oh, cool, look at the one!" From their vantage point, they could see the park laid out all around them.

"Of course you'd point out the log ride."

"Love a log ride!"

"You make bigger splashes!"

"Indeed I do!" Louisa grinned. Reyna opened her mouth to respond, but then the ride was in freefall, clattering down the track. Louisa whooped delightedly, Piper was changing her mind in the seat behind them, screaming in terror and delight, while Jason half-laughed, half-complained that she was crushing his hand. Reyna was laughing too and then they levelled out, slowing over some bumps until the ride came to a halt. "Again!" Louisa insisted. "Wait, no. Look at the queue now!" She grimaced. Reyna rolled her eyes, pushing the harness up and climbing out. Louisa struggled with the button for a moment, complaining wordlessly. Reyna had to help her out.

"You can fight a Titan, but you can't get out of a rollercoaster."

"Sod's law." Louisa nodded, springing to her feet. "Log ride!"

"_One_ log ride." Reyna said, holding a single finger up. Louisa pursed her lips. Reyna tapped her on the nose. "_One_."

"Two."

"_One_ or we go on that love tunnel nonsense."

"Ew, no mush." Louisa stuck her tongue out, disgusted. Reyna nodded once, appeased, and looked past her. Jason had his arm around Piper's waist, laughing.

"That was mildly faster than I was expecting." She groaned.

"You've been on _Arion_."

"That is true. Go again?"

"If you insist." Jason shrugged. He smiled at Reyna, who was pulling on Louisa's arm to get her to focus. "Good luck, Reyna."

"I will need more than luck to get this one to behave," Reyna shook her head, "I will need a miracle."

"Pfft," Louisa rolled her eyes, "you'll need, like, _twenty_, but who's ta say?"

* * *

**Will try and continue! :P **


	31. Idiot mode!

**I won't lie- I genuinely forgot this was a thing! **

**Currently running on two hours sleep and no food, bear with me!**

* * *

When Will caught up with Nico at lunchtime, it was to find a rather homicidal boyfriend trying to disarm Louisa before she threw her goblet at her brother's head.

"You've been here less than a day!" He was saying, shooting Percy annoyed looks over his shoulder. "Why can't you two get along for five minutes?" Percy, holding an empty plate up to protect his noggin, gaped at his little cousin.

"Hey, _I_ didn't start that one!"

"Fight me!" Louisa challenged.

"_I'll_ fight you in a minute," Nico warned, "put the goblet down. _Now_."

"But it's fun when it clonks!"

"Only when I do it, put it down! Lou!" Will sidled over, jabbing Louisa sharply in the side. She yelped, reflexively swinging at his head. Will hit the side of her wrist with one hand and the base of the goblet with the other at the same time. It took a few attempts for him to catch it once airborne, but he managed. All three of them marvelled at him. Those who had been watching were too.

"What?" He asked.

"Only you," Percy laughed, "only _you _can date a Big Three kid _and_ get between him and two of his cousins."

"Will," Louisa pouted, rubbing at her wrist, "that was rude."

"I'm aware." He smiled, patting her shoulder. Her head snapped round, glaring at him. Percy started, quickly sweeping her up into a fireman's lift. She was carried out muttering obscenities and loudly claiming Solangelo would not have happened without her! "So," Will tucked Nico under his arm, "what's for lunch?"

"A healthy dose of self-preservation." Nico said, befuddled.

"Sounds great, I'll take a side order of cinema tomorrow night?"

"Off the menu."

"Harsh." Will pouted. Nico gave a soft laugh and Will felt his heart skip. Gods, he was adorable. Nico took his hand and led him to Cabin Seven's table. Will's siblings were still staring at him. "What?" Will repeated, giving a nervous chuckle.

"She will get you back for that."

"I don't doubt it, but right now, I want quiche Lorraine."

* * *

At archery the next day, Will was on a target side by side with Louisa. He envied her bow, but she wouldn't let him have a turn. Not ever. So he took to trying to out-shoot her. His arrow hit dead-centre. Hers sliced through his and she snickered beside him.

"How did you get so good at archery when Percy has a lifetime ban?"

"I'm cool." She said smugly, notching another arrow. "Leo upgraded the targets, look. Balloon sequence three!" She called. Three dots of colour appeared on the board, like saplings. They inflated to the size of melons, one on the white, one on the blue and the third on the red. "Now spin!" She grinned. The rings started to rotate, in different directions to each other. She drew back, bursting the blue one instantly. Will hurried to shoot, hitting the white. As soon as she burst the red, four balloons appeared in their place and the rings switched directions, but jolted as well, making the balloons bounce wildly. "Maximum ten balloons," she told him, "on this setting anyway."

"How many settings and dare I ask what they are?"

"Do you wanna see my favourite?"

"I'm scared, but go on." She lowered her bow.

"Idiot mode!" She called, grinning. The board gave a little jump. Suddenly, it could run. Will laughed in disbelief. It stayed within the confines of the archery range, but it hide and lay down and jumped and ran laps and zig-zagged in multiple directions. He shot at it and it leant back, sliding under his arrow and running straight at him.

"Frigging Matrixed me!"

"I know, right?" Louisa was enjoying this too much. "If ya get too close to it, it'll shoot ya arrows back at you."

"And that's safe?"

"Pfft, that's borin'."

"How close is too close?"

"About thirty feet."

"Right."

"Come on, Solace, don't tell me ya can't do it."

"I can do it better than you."

"Challenge accepted." They bumped fists and took after the board, maintaining the distance. She tripped him up once. He didn't fall, but staggered a couple of feet too close. Sure enough, one of his previous arrows whizzed past his head.

"Did you put Leo up to this?"

"I may or may not have just mentioned in passin' that the archery range was kinda, possibly sort of borin'. So he Valdezed it for me."

"_Why_?" Will exasperated. His arrow hit the target, but narrowly missed the balloon. Louisa got it two seconds later. "We don't need more _Valdezed_ things."

"But they're fun!"

"Oohh, like the Valdezed coffee machine in the Big House?"

"Only, like, three people got burnt."

"Paolo had coffee beans _up his nose_."

"It could've been worse."

"Clarisse was basically a froth monster."

"Still could've been worse."

"Katie punched it for saying she smelt like manure and broke three of her fingers."

"_Still_ could've been worse."

"Oh really?"

"I take that as a challenge, Solace." She grinned. The board scuttled to the right and she ended up firing over his shoulder. Will didn't even flinch, but muttered a curse when she burst another balloon. "Looks like I'm winnin'." She teased.

"Is she being annoying?" Will glanced round. The board ran at Nico. He looked bored, drawing his sword and slicing one of its front legs off. It stumbled, squealing metallically, and fell flat on its face and popping the last three balloons.

"Aw, it's the boyfriend!" Louisa cooed. Her bow shrank back into her watch and she elbowed Will on her way past.

"So that's a yes." Nico sighed. "Annabeth's looking for you. She needs your advice on a Poseidon-kid thing and Percy was no help."

"Ooh, shocker."

"Just go."

"Of course, of course, I'll leave you two alone." She smirked and bounced off.

"Annabeth wasn't really looking for her, was she?"

"Now what makes you say that?" Nico asked innocently. Will snorted, laughing into his fist. "It's _my_ job to annoy you."

"Aw, romance at its finest."

"Oh, shut up." Nico wrinkled his nose. Will grinned broadly, squishing a kiss to his cheek. Nico stuck his tongue out, but looked please.

"Is the cinema back on the menu yet?"

"Depends on whether or not I get popcorn."

"You can have _some_, you ate my whole bag last time."

"I was hungry!"

"So was I and if you tell me to respect my elders again, I'm putting you in the popcorn machine."

"That sounds like fighting talk, Solace."

"Maybe it is, di Angelo." Will tipped his chin up defiantly. Nico considered him for a moment, that cute little scrunch between his brows as he thought. Will started to speak. Nico cut him off, grabbing him by the front of the shirt and yanking him forward. He kissed him, fiercely, challengingly. Will's brain lost connection to the rest of his body and when Nico drew back, he was positive he made a sound akin to a deflating balloon.

"I'll meet you at Thalia's tree at six." Nico said, smoothing Will's shirt for him. Will mumbled something unintelligible, but the tone must have been agreeing as Nico smiled and left.


	32. Task for the Twins!

**Just a random thing I started with the twins! I keep meaning to update these one-shots, but I start one and then I start three more and then I just have no idea what's going on! ^_^ **

* * *

"Soooo, what now?"

"Hm?"

"Oh my gods, we're going to die." Percy put his head in his hands. He could feel the weight of his sister's glare, meeting her gaze with disbelief. "We got _all this way_ and you have _no plan_."

"Truth be told, bro, I didn't think ya'd get this far."

"Don't you mean 'we'?"

"No. I already know what I'm doin'." At his silent demand, she grinned. "Bullshittin'. Obviously."

"_How_ are you still alive?"

"_Why_ does everyone keep askin' that?" She exasperated, folding her arms with a sulky huff. Percy wasn't sure how to respond to her oblivious take, surveying their surroundings instead. In a bid to get them to stop fighting for five minutes, their mothers had sent the twins on a 'team-building exercise'. Five thousand feet underwater. With a mission, from their father;

"My favourite back-up trident has been stolen-"

"_Back-up_?"

"Yes. Not as powerful as my normal one, but always good to have spares."

"Stolen by who?" Percy asked.

"I don't know." Poseidon shrugged a shoulder.

"So, we'll just search the _entire_ ocean for it then?" Louisa joked grumpily, rolling her eyes and vaguely waving her hand around.

"That sounds like a grand idea." Poseidon agreed, drawing her glare to him.

"Sarcasm, Dad. Learn it."

"Sarcasm or not, you offered to search the _entire_ ocean and I've accepted that offer."

"Can't you just… magic it back?" Percy quizzed, snapping his fingers to demonstrate.

"I could." The god agreed. "But I believe the one who took it-"

"Ya _literally_ just said ya didn't know."

"-still holds a grudge against me and I'd appreciate if you gave her a little nudge in the right direction." He smiled secretively at them.

"Her?" Louisa frowned.

"An ex-girlfriend?" Percy guessed simultaneously. Poseidon gave a meaningless motion of his head, neither a nod or a shake. He dismissed them with a wave of his hand. Once outside the throne room, Percy turned to his sister. "How hard is it to find one of Dad's exes?"

"Mmm… like me findin' hotdogs."

"Oh. This may take a while."

"This is your fault."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

So they swam and they swam and they swam and Louisa got distracted by some jellyfish and had an argument with a rather cheeky eel, and they swam some more. They had no idea where they were going, bickering over every possible thing they could- whose fault it was, the colour of the coral, how many pegasi it would take to change a light bulb and the ever classic:

"I say we go left."

"I say we go _right_."

"No, right's stupid!"

"Left's stupid! I'm the older twin, so we go _right_."

"I'm the _better_ twin, we go left!"

"You're not-"

"I am!"

"Says who?"

"Me! I have better taste than you!"

"Bullshit, do you." Percy scoffed. He noticed they were being watched by a large school of thousands of silvery fish. He touched Louisa's cheek, turning her head. She stopped mid-insult, marvelling at their audience.

_Don't mind us_, several chorused, _please continue._

_Please please please please please-_

"You lot wouldn't have happened to see a trident, would ya?" Louisa asked. "Might be with Dad's ex-girlfriend."

_Narrow it down a bit more_.

"That's literally all we know." The school seemed to collectively shrug and took off, swirling around the twins, as many of them bumping into them as possible, making a game of it. Percy sighed, sinking to sit on a rock. Louisa watched the fish disappear into the gloom before joining him. "This sucks." Percy muttered.

"Yep. Just 'bout sums up our lives, huh?"

"Yeeeah, unfortunately."

"Do we _have _to find this trident? Can't we just, like, give him a '_We tried_!' 'n' go home?"

"I sincerely doubt that."

"Well, I _sincerely_ think you're an ass."

"Thanks, Lou, love you too."

"Anytime."


	33. Gays, vomit, bets and SHARK

**To RandomFanAuthor- I WILL TRY TO! EVEN IF I HAVE TO WRITE MORE PERCY AND LOU SHENANIGANERY! **

**T T- when you say 'something', do you mean like a date or like one of them realising they like the other one or? Because I would quite like to write something Louper (?) now that you've given me the idea! **

**To HoO Fan- I have a continuation of the theme park one, does that count? Only a little something! But I tried! ^_^**

* * *

Reyna squeezed her braid, water dribbling down her sleeve. Louisa cackled somewhere to her right, bouncing and clapping. "Again again again!"

"Not again." Reyna protested lightly, rolling her eyes. She could feel the pout on the side of her head, turning to set a firm look on her. "We have been on the log ride _six_ times and you've splashed us about _fifteen_ times."

"Lies. It was sixteen." Louisa grinned, spreading her hands in victory. Reyna wrung her braid some more, sighing. "Want some help with that? It'll cost ya another log ride."

"I have a better idea." She smirked, tapping her finger on her lips. As she predicted, Louisa went pink, but she was still smiling, barely containing her bounce. "You're like Tigger with Tourette's. Ah," Reyna pressed her fingers to her girlfriend's chest, keeping a foot between them, "dry first, then kiss."

"Ugh, fine. Water's much cooler though." Louisa made a shooing motion, log ride water whisking away from Reyna.

"Thank yo- yeah, alright, alright, hold your horses." Reyna laughed, gently pinching Louisa's chin and laying a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to still her. "I stand corrected- you're like Tigger with Tourette's on speed."

"Awww, thanks, Rey-Rey." Honestly, what was she going to do with this one? As she rewarded Louisa with a gentle peck on the lips, Reyna wondered how many times she had asked herself that over the years. She could add another to the list as Louisa protested, not happy with her prize. "I'm insufferable, yes, yes, I've heard it all before. Love me."

"I do."

"Can we go on the log ride again?"

"No, I think you nearly drowned that other man."

"Good, he was a dick."

"How so?"

"Mmm, he had dickish vibes."

"I don't know what that means, but OK. And no, no more log ride. Let's get something to eat and we'll try some other stuff, alright?" Louisa huffed. Reyna took her hand and kissed her cheek, immediately making her smile. "You're such a dork."

* * *

Annabeth sighed, twisting in her seat to frown. Calypso, beside her, snorted.

"What did you expect?"

"I'm not sure," Annabeth admitted, "but _something_. I mean, look at them."

"I am." Calypso assured. "I just feel sorry for Frank." They had found a spinning teacups ride. She, Annabeth and Hazel had kicked the boys out of their teacup, but this only meant one thing- the saviour of Olympus and the victor against Gaia were spinning their cup faster and faster with wicked glee and no intentions of slowing. The poor shape-shifting praetor that had been lumbered with them was not faring well, not at all, hands clasped over his mouth as he turned every shade of green and grey.

"Should we do something?" Hazel worried.

"Brain transplant?"

"They'd first need brains to transplant." Calypso remarked.

"If Frank barfs, that's just going to come flying everywhere. Hazel, you didn't bring a shield by any chance, did you?"

"Um, you're the smart one, I thought you'd have one."

"Don't start that again."

"I have the advantage here."

"How so?"

"My boyfriend's not being an idiot."

"No, but he is being sick." Calypso grimaced. Percy and Leo had stopped laughing, torn between concern and disgust. As one, the three girls sighed. "Pretend we don't know them?"

"Deal."

* * *

"Oh, come on, Solace. I thought you were supposed to be good at hitting targets."

"Do you know how rigged these things are? I've better chance of throwing you than I do shooting this."

"I would love to see you try. Don't even think about it." Nico flicked him warningly. Will blew a raspberry. The plastic gun was bulky in his hands, the pellets skewing to the left, the cord attaching it to the counter pulling at each movement. He had wanted to do something sweet for Nico, win him one of the over-sized plushies that would definitely out-size him and clash with his dark clothes spectacularly, but this gun was not going to help him. "If you knew they were so rigged- and expensive- why did you bother?"

"I'm being romantic, shut up."

"How about we knock them out and steal it?" Nico jabbed a thumb at the stall holder. Will didn't even bother wording a response, simply giving him a Look. "Fine. Be like that then."

"I will."

"Not a good choice."

"Huh. You know what else is not a good choice?"

"If you say me, I will kill you."

"No." Will put a hand on Nico's head, turning him to face the other way. "Being near this place when Lou gets here."

"I'll go with you on that one. Ghost ride?"

"Tunnel of love?"

"Ew, no. That's for peasants." Nico paused, squinting at Will in thought.

"If you tell me to go on my own, I will maim you."

"Oh please. You can't even shoot one of these." Nico knocked the plastic gun from Will's hands. "Let's go before Lou starts selling Solangelo T-shirts again."

"I've still got mine."

"I know you do."

* * *

"Ooohh, they ran away."

"Probably because they knew you were going to throw things at them."

"I don't throw things. At everyone. All the time. Don't gimme that look, I'm lovely." Reyna hummed disbelievingly, amused when Louisa proceeded to fume quietly. "I'm _lovely_." She insisted. "Ya'll just dicks."

"Yeah, no, I see no contradiction there whatsoever."

"Dick."

"Is that your word today?"

"Yes. You dick."

"Haha! Piper owes me five bucks." Hands still joined. Louisa looked over her right shoulder and Reyna over her left. Jason grinned at them, holding a large helping of pink candyfloss. He offered some to Reyna. "Piper reckons you'd have tipped her off a rollercoaster by now."

"I did consider it." Reyna nodded, pinching away some candyfloss. He offered it to Louisa, who tried taking the whole lot from him. Reyna cleared her throat. Louisa started and hurriedly took a small portion. Jason arched an eyebrow.

"How _do_ you do that?" He marvelled, looking to Reyna sidelong.

"She does learn. Eventually."

"Oh, for the love of- Reyna, you had one job!" Piper appeared, smacking five dollars into Jason's outstretched hand.

"I wouldn't kill her somewhere so public, Piper."

"She wouldn't kill me, period." Louisa corrected, sticking her tongue out. "She did call me Tigger though."

"Tigger with Tourette's on speed." Reyna reminded her. "I feel it's appropriate."

"It is." Jason agreed. "Sorry, Lou, but she's right. You _are_ batshit crazy."

"Oh my gods."

"What?"

"Jason swore. Rey-Rey, did ya hear that?"

"Yes, it was absolutely vulgar. I'm disappointed, Jason."

"Yeah, fuck you 'n' ya filthy-ass potty mouth, Grace."

"And on that note…" Jason offered his arm to Piper. "Shall we?"

"No no no!" Louisa grabbed his arm, shooing Piper away. "Wait wait wait, no, _wait_, I've got it, right, I've got it."

"Got what?"

"_Dis -_Grace."

"It's taken you four years to come up with _Dis-Grace_?" Reyna pinched the bridge of her nose, counting to five. She opened her eyes to see Louisa almost nose to nose with her, frowning with challenge. "Four years, Lou. _Four_. _Years_."

"Still quicker than Percabeth."

"Speaking of Percabeth," Piper chipped in, "we just saw them with Caleo and Frazel on the teacups. Frank's been sick. Your brother and Leo may have had something to do with it. The girls… are not happy."

"No shit. Ugh, that's some hetro bullshit."

"It's really not, Lou." Piper shook her head. Louisa wasn't listening, inhaling sharply and smacking Reyna's arm repeatedly, looking wide-eyed at something away from the group.

"Oh, that's the puppy hand flail. What is it, Lou?" Reyna asked, her tone equipped for a young child. "What did you see?" Louisa hopped from foot to foot, grasping at the air. Reyna turned. "Oh, yes, I see it."

"I need it!"

"You don't need it."

"I do, I do!"

"Wh-?" Piper started. Reyna pointed, catching Louisa's hand with the other. "Oh." Piper realised, shooting Louisa a bemused smile. Louisa didn't notice, still hopping and pleading with Reyna.

Jason looked down at his cousin, and then at his ex-colleague. In all the years he had known Reyna, nothing had brought a smile to her face quite like Louisa. Heck, smiles were few and far between with her, always so serious and dedicated. And yet, here she was, with her Tigger-with-Tourette's-on-speed girlfriend wriggling and hopping and chanting 'please please please please please' without drawing breath, and smiling like she had won the world.

Louisa's attention had been caught on one of the game stalls, her heart going to a large plush purple shark with a goofy face. It was one of the biggest prizes available and Louisa _had_ to have it.

"Please please please please please-"

"Alright, alright." Reyna soothed, now holding Louisa's hands in both of hers. "But you realise those games are rigged, right?"

"Unrig them, I want the shark!" Louisa beamed, tugging on Reyna's hands. "Let's go, it's the last one!"

"OK, I'm coming, I'm coming." She glanced back at Piper and Jason, making a face.

"Hey, she's your girlfriend," Piper laughed, "you signed up for this. Not us."

"Rey-Rey, move ya ass!"


	34. Christmas Fish

**To RandomFanAuthor- thank you! ^_^ And yes, I can imagine Percy and Leo being _exactly_ like that headcanon, poor Frank just had to suffer! And if Lou was real, she would be at the White House the second Trump showed his ugly mug and have done with his stupid ass there and then! And probably elect herself as president afterwards or something :P **

**To Guest- aww, thank you! Writing Chaotic-Lou is a great joy of mine! ^_^ **

**To HoO Fan- Then you're in luck! I began writing a Christmas thing with Reyisa on the side! :D**

* * *

"Jessica, stop eating the batter!"

"Make me!"

"Ooh, that's another mark in nature vs nurture!" Sally huffed, knocking the bowl from Jessica's hands and deftly catching it. "You're supposed to be _helping_."

"I did help!"

"You made the _trifle_. I've made _everything_ else." Sally gestured round at the swell of Christmas dinner- turkey, vegetables, gravy, roast potatoes, cake, vegetarian options, tin cans, cookies, jelly; all made and/or gathered without Jessica's help.

"I taste-tested everything." Jessica stuck her tongue out. Sally hummed, setting the bowl out of reach. She checked the turkey in the oven, a second purely for Tyson and his unending appetite- did all of Poseidon's kids have bottomless pit stomachs?

The doorbell rang. Jessica was immediately at the door, grasping the frame and the handle and leaning out as far as she could. Louisa was already answering the front door, bombarded before it was even ajar by Lizzie.

"There she is!" Lizzie sang happily, squeezing Louisa in greeting. She squished her cheek on Louisa's hair. "Merry Christmas, Fishy!"

"Not Fishy!" Louisa protested, voice muffled in her sister's shoulder. Lizzie laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Mom! _Mooooommmmm_!" Louisa wriggled and huffed. "Mam!"

"Hey, that's cheating!" Lizzie protested. "You can't call on _both_ moms!"

"Can too! MAM!" Sally squeezed in beside Jessica, waving to Lizzie. Louisa swore. "Help please!" Annabeth appeared behind Lizzie, the front door still open. Percy was two steps behind her with Grover and Tyson, already wearing his blue Christmas jumper with dancing penguins wearing sunglasses. Their arrival freed Louisa, Lizzie finally getting to meet the extensive family, hugs all around.

Sally pushed Jessica in the back.

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Jessica mused. "All these demigods in one place?"

"Only a few," Sally assured, "we're meeting the others tomorrow for dinner and presents. At Camp Half-Blood." She clarified. "They've got a big celebration, we're all invited!"

"Yay."

"Be a bit more enthusiastic."

"_Yay_."

"I AM NOT 'FISHY'!"

"Darling, you're _always_ Fishy!"

"MOM!"

"I'll be right back." Jessica sighed. She marched over, pushing herself between her bickering daughters. "It's Christmas. Less fight, more food. For me." She added. "You all need to shush."

"Bah humbug to you too." Lizzie blew a raspberry. "Also, have you met Annabeth? She's a daughter of Athena. And Tyson is a _Cyclops_!" Jessica nodded slowly. Lizzie pouted. "I know you already know that, but you could humour me, I've not met these people before."

"That's your fault."

"I was in Australia, leave off. What are you doing?" She plonked a hand on Louisa's head, squishing her down. Louisa, who had been standing on her toes to see around the barricade of guests, sulked and flailed her hands at her. "You looking for someone, Lou?" Lizzie smirked. Louisa didn't respond, glowering. Percy butted in, grinning slyly.

"She's looking for her _giiiiirlfrieeeend_."

"Wait, what?" Lizzie stared at him incredulously. "_Louisa_ is doing the _romance_?" Percy snickered and nodded. Lizzie gaped at him, a thousand questions clamouring for her attention. She looked from one twin to the other, not sure where to start. "Is this a clone, is she a clone, are you a clone?"

"I'm not a clone!"

"That's exactly what a clone would say. _Suspicious_." Louisa knocked her hand off, but Lizzie wasn't so easily side-tracked. "Who is this girl, what are her intentions, how long have you two been dating, do I need to have a big sister talk with her?" She caught Louisa under her arm, stroking her head like an upset puppy and shushing her. "Don't worry, Fishy, I will protect you."

"Bitch please."

"Hush now, Fishy, hussssssh."

"Mom-"

"Not with so many witnesses, Lou."


	35. Lizzie's approval ONLY

**Continued from before! **

**To RandomFanAuthor and HoO Fan- Lizzie is Jessica's biological daughter she had at fifteen. Her mother, Denise, took the baby away before she even got to see her and put her up for adoption. Lou tracked her down. More on that later! **

**To Herelam101- Sooo one continuous fart joke that ends in goddy poo?**

* * *

The doorbell rang again, bang on seven o'clock. Louisa made to stand. Lizzie smacked her in the face with a Christmas cushion. "Stay down, Fish!" She ordered, sprinting for the door. Louisa spluttered protests, but Lizzie was already there. "And you must be- wait, _cruise girl_?" Louisa squirmed under her sister's arm, stationing herself between them.

"Lou, this is your sister?"

"Unfortunately."

"Fish, I know her!"

"_Fish_?" Reyna snorted, hurriedly making it a cough as Louisa glared. Reyna smiled, handing over a neatly wrapped present. "Food smells lovely, can I come in?" Louisa took a moment to consider it, but Lizzie took the final verdict. She grabbed Reyna by the shoulder and hauled her inside.

"MOM!" She bellowed. "Lou's girlfriend is Cruise Girl!"

"OK, I don't know what that means." Jessica shrugged a shoulder, munching on a roast potato.

"When we were bringing the statue back," Reyna began, "we landed on a cruise ship-"

"And she didn't have a hairbrush, can you _imagine_?" Lizzie rolled her eyes, disgusted. Reyna regarded her carefully. "I gave her one, do you still have it?"

"Yes."

"Wait, the pink one?" Louisa asked, shaking her present and sniffing it when it made no noise. "Is this chocolate?"

"No."

"Disappointin'."

"But yes, the pink one." Lizzie nodded.

"Rey has it in her bathroom, uses it all the time."

"It's safer than the one you gave me." Reyna retorted, hands on her hips. Louisa winced at the stance and smiled sheepishly. At Lizzie's questioning look, Reyna gave an unamused half-laugh. "It _looked_ normal enough, but had a setting that only worked at _random_ that would set your hair on _fire_."

"It was _purple_ fire. Matches ya cape."

"_Cloak_."

"Ooooh, don't start that again." Louisa pulled a face. Reyna shook her head, looking up at Lizzie again.

"Lou's told me all about you. It's nice to finally meet you, uh, officially?" She offered her hand. Lizzie squinted at her, at the outstretched hand, and back again.

"No big sister talk." Louisa warned, pouting. Lizzie frowned, staring her sister down. She slowly raised and lowered her hand to poke Reyna in the forehead, still frowning at Louisa.

"I don't care if your dad's the god of the sea. Only _I_ can decide who's good for my little fish."

"If I may," Percy's voice came, materialising between his sisters and making Lizzie jump, "Reyna is a daughter of Bellona and she's praetor of Camp Jupiter, returned the Athena Parthenos and earned Athena's aegis as well _and_ is, like, the _only_ person Lou listens to."

"I understood that last past, but I don't believe it. Daughter of who?"

"Bellona. Roman goddess of war."

"And… praetor?"

"Basically chief."

"And Athena what and what?"

"Big statue of Athena, gold and ivory, stolen thousands of years ago. And aegis, Athena's shield."

"Huh."

"Nico, Coach Hedge and I accompanied the statue back to Camp Half Blood." Reyna corrected.

"Oh, and she defeated Orion." Percy grinned. "She has my approval."

"Yes, but I'm older and better than you, so _my_ approval is the only one that counts. How do you get Lou to listen to you?" Reyna tapped a finger on her nose, smiling. "I suppose that's fair." Lizzie nodded slowly, mulling something over. "OK." She eventually decided, patting Reyna's head. "If you can keep Fish out of trouble, you will do nicely."


	36. Trifle thief leads to douchebaggery

**Still continuing the Christmas!**

* * *

Reyna blinked. Jessica narrowed her eyes, leaning forward slightly.

"It's dark magic, isn't it?"

"No."

"I have spent _years_ trying to talk sense into that girl and you do it in _two seconds_."

"I do chase her with swords."

"So do I!"

"You do?"

"Yes! Who doesn't?" Jessica threw her hands up, half-turning away and planting her hands on her hips. "Honestly, demigods are overrated. I should get paid for this nonsense, where's Poseidon, let me yell at Poseidon. Oh, he's Neptune to you, isn't he?"

"Yes ma'am, but either one works. I know who you mean."

"None of that 'ma'am' business. Makes me feel old. Sally's more of a 'ma'am' than I am."

"Um, excuse me?" Sally protested.

"Talking about you, not to you. Where's Lou gone?" Sally shrugged a shoulder, still put out by the 'ma'am' comment. "Useless." Jessica chided. "Honestly, woman, what are you good for?" In response, Sally slugged her in the arm. "Ow." Jessica deadpanned, watching her counterpart stalk off.

"I see where Lou gets it from." Reyna remarked.

"Gets what?"

"Pissing people off."

"Oh, yeah, I mastered that _looooong_ before Lou came along. Although, she's a natural. Don't tell her I said that. Where is she anyway?" She scanned the room, frowning. The Chases had arrived and it had become rather crowded in here. Grover was playing on his panpipes to baby Estelle, who giggled and clapped, bobbing her little head to the tune. Percy had donned her in a little elf onesie, although she had long lost the hat in babyish stubbornness. Tyson was sat cross-legged beside them, gently swaying along with the music. Annabeth was wrestling her brothers away from her desserts, her stepmother assuring Sally she wasn't old or a 'ma'am'.

Reyna hummed, scratching her chin.

"Too many people." She noticed.

"Ah. Yeah, that'd do it. What are you like climbing drain pipes?"

Reyna found Louisa on the roof, having stolen the trifle and working her way through it.

"You'll ruin your dinner."

"Have ya ever known me ta ruin my dinner?"

"Actually, no." Reyna sat beside her, dipping her finger in the topping. "Too peopley?" Louisa nodded, bouncing her leg as she scooped more dessert. "Your mother thinks I'm a witch. Don't agree to that." Louisa smiled sheepishly and offered a spoonful of trifle. "What did you do to it?"

"Nothin'. I wouldn't be eatin' it otherwise."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Mm, depends how the rest of the night goes." She shrugged a shoulder. Reyna rocked her head from side to side, seeing no argument there. Louisa nudged the spoon closer, sulking until Reyna ate.

"LOUISA!" Jessica's dulcet tones filled the air.

"WHAT?" Louisa shouted back. She leaned forward, teetering on the edge of the roof. Reyna grasped the back of her shirt, cursing her under her breath.

"Please stop doing that."

"Huh? One sec, Rey-Rey. WHAT D'YA WANT?"

"THAT IS NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER!" Jessica planted her hands on her hips. "GET DOWN HERE! AND BRING BACK THAT TRIFLE!"

"NO!"

"I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE! _ONE-_"

"Shit, that's mad business." Louisa shoved the bowl at Reyna and leapt for the drain pipe. She wriggled down and joined her mother, tucking her hands behind her back. Jessica patted her on the head.

"Reyna, you too please!"

"Hey, how come ya ask her nicely?"

"Because she's a witch and I don't want to get turned into a frog."

"She ain't a witch!" Louisa huffed. She turned and saw Reyna already behind her, returning the bowl. "Oh damn, she might be a bit."

"Told you." Jessica smirked. "Uh, quick favour to ask though. Reyna, could you kindly use your witchy powers to keep her under control for the next two hours?"

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

"No, no, _no_." Louisa groaned, dropping her head against her mother's arm.

"What?" Reyna asked, bewildered. "What's oh no?" Jessica smiled, although it was far more a grimace than anything happy.

"My mother is here. And… how should I put this? Uhhhh…." She tapped a finger on her chin, eyeing the sky as if it held the answers. "She's a massive douchebag. No-one likes her. And you've eaten her trifle. Merry Christmas, everyone."


	37. Denise

**To RandomFanAuthor- Jason's Official Naptime Ceremony. I quite like that. I'm going to finish the Christmas bit first, but for Jason's Official Naptime Ceremony... should I include spoilers? Am I feeling nice? I may even name it Jason's Official Naptime Ceremony if I do write it. Actually, I have an idea. ^_^ **

**To Guest- (Chapter 1) I don't have an idea for that chapter, but I do have one for the title! The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music! Hahaha, I'm a genius. I'll make a list of requests, and start on them after the Christmas bit!**

* * *

Reyna had heard a little about Jessica's mother, Denise. Louisa did not have a kind word to say about her, but she was nothing like Reyna had expected.

A short woman, in her seventies, greying blonde hair pulled back in a bun. Her shoulders hunched beneath a black woollen cardigan over a dusty blue blouse, tucked into a grey pencil skirt without a single crease. Her black shoes were laced tightly and shone brighter than the Christmas lights. Her round face was wrinkled and scowling, blue eyes so similar in colour to Jessica's but so much colder and spiteful. She surveyed the gathering, her knobbly knuckles white with grip on her cane. Mr. Chase offered her his seat, to which she only scoffed.

Jessica dragged Louisa in, Reyna shoving her from behind, ignoring her protests. They decided it was best to leave the half-eaten trifle in one of the bedrooms. "Say nothing." Jessica advised. "We never saw a trifle, OK?" Reyna nodded agreement. Louisa told her where to stick the trifle.

"Ah. There you are." Denise remarked stiffly. "Who are these people?"

"Mom-" Jessica began. Denise's eyebrow shot up, eyes hardening. Jessica bit the inside of her cheek. "Mother," she corrected tightly, "let me make introductions." She smiled as if someone had shoved needles into her spine. Her hand hovered over her mother's back, to guide her on, but Denise had clocked Reyna. She eyed her up and down, coming to a sour conclusion. Jessica closed her eyes for the count of three. Louisa bristled beside Reyna. "Mother. This is Reyna. Lou's… friend." She winced apologetically.

"And where is she from?"

"Um…"

"Puerto Rico." Reyna answered.

"Mmph. Here for our jobs, I suppose." Denise scoffed. Reyna began to retort, Jessica cutting a hand across her throat, stopping her. She let the temper simmer in her chest, sensing Louisa's distaste rolling from her in waves.

"Reyna is a good friend of Louisa's, Mother. They… study together. And she keeps Lou out of trouble. Mostly." Jessica added quietly.

"And how did she get here?"

"By pirate ship." Reyna interjected. "My sister and I worked on an island for a powerful woman, but then Louisa's brother came along and caused havoc, setting free some rather undesirable men. My sister took charge of their vessel and we rebuilt our lives here."

"Smugglers."

"Sorceresses, spa therapists and guinea pigs, actually."

"You would believe anything on those kinds of substances. Louisa's wretched father, he smuggles too. Bet you were all some little gang."

"I don't even know if I want to respond to you."

"Don't." Louisa advised. Denise's gaze cut to her, narrowing her eyes. Louisa sighed. "What is it this time?"

"Your attitude remains unchanged. As does your clothing. When will you dress like a respectable young lady?" Louisa stared back at her, bored. "Respond when I am talking to you." Denise ordered briskly. Louisa pursed her lips, giving the slightest shake of her head.

Lizzie chose that moment to butt in, slinging her arm around Jessica's shoulders.

"What's all this then?" She smiled, inspecting them all warily. She regarded Denise, smile wilting. She looked to Jessica, who simply nodded, and then back to the elder, smile once again shining. "Ah. So you must be the one who put me up for adoption before my mom even met me. Nice to finally put a face to the cruelty." She held her hand out. Louisa tensed, entranced. "Now, I don't know how you Americans greet people, but in Australia we shake hands. Fun fact about me, after bouncing through foster home after foster home and working dead-end jobs where I was sworn at and spat on and hit and breaking up with my fiancé, I managed to get a visa to move to Australia. I've met venomous spiders more pleasant than you."

"Like that's hard." Louisa muttered, smirking. "Here, Nan, why don't ya go 'n' see if there's a trifle? Bet ya hungry after all ya judgin' 'n' racism 'n' tearin' kids away from their moms."

"I am _not_ your grandmother." Denise spat.

"Yeah, well, you are mine." Lizzie waggled her hand. "My arm's getting tired, do I need to teach you basic manners?"

"You be quiet. You were a curse from the moment you were born."

"OK, boomer."


	38. Boomer VS Lizzie

**To Guest- don't read then! ^_^**

* * *

"Can I just say? I love your sister."

"_Right_?" Louisa grinned. They had occupied the armchair, Reyna sat in it and Louisa on the arm. They were watching Lizzie follow Denise around, rather enjoying herself, while Jessica trailed along after them, not-so-discreetly turning laughs into coughs. Denise had complained there was no trifle for her, what was she supposed to eat? Lizzie, quick as a flash; "Privileged snowflake."

Nothing Denise did or said got rid of her or even quietened her.

She scowled at the Chase boys playing Tag, darting under the table and through the mass of people. One nearly crashed into her, yelling sorry over his shoulder.

"Disgraceful!" She chided, grasping the air in place of her cane, which now lay on the floor.

"Ah, boys will be boys, boomer." Lizzie sighed, leaning her elbow on Denise's shoulder. "What can you do?"

A bit of mistaken identity with Estelle, getting cuddles from Annabeth.

"What was she _thinking_, getting herself pregnant at her age?"

"Women can get pregnant by _themselves_? Oh. My. _God_. Sign me up! Also, that's Sally's baby, keep your nose on your face, boomer. And, _no_, you can't give that one up for adoption either."

Reprimanding Percy for not having a job.

"You will be a leech on your mother, she has enough work to do caring for a newborn!"

"It's almost like this economy is designed to give less and less jobs so employers don't have to actually care about their employees and can rake in more profit and the jobs that _are_ hiring are poorly paid, poorly managed and short-term contracts and don't pay anywhere near enough for us to afford our own places or to live, ooh, that's so weird. It's hard to believe, but it seems to me that the generation before us were so set in killing our future for their own gain. Crazy. Right, boomer?"

She claimed Grover, in his tie-dyed shirt and rasta cap, was a pothead tree-hugger. Grover assured her his girlfriend was a tree, which did not help his case, but thoroughly enthralled Lizzie. "Next you'll be telling me you're part goat!" She laughed theatrically.

"As a matter of fact-"

"Oh, _don't_! Grover, you're _such_ a joker!"

After that, she belted out Christmas songs or Bohemian Rhapsody and even Humpty Dumpty. She Gangnam-Styled, she criticised Denise's clothes, dancing and sashaying around her, swiping food before Denise could grab it, leaning on her, jiving some more. "Can't stop me now! Having such a good time. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time! Ooh, pigs in blankets! Or as I like to call them- _Officer_." She saluted the sausage, before shoving it in her mouth and chewing loudly. "Man, there's no avocados. Good job really- Percy, stop buying avocados! You'll never afford to move out otherwise!"

"Sorry, Lizzie!"

"You will be! I'm gonna make a super-sonic man out of you!"

"Please don't, I'm tired!"

"It's 'cos you don't get off that phone all day! Catching your Pokémons and smuggling drugs with your father, honestly, Percy, what are we going to do with you?"

"I am _not_ retrieving anymore lightning bolts."

"Wait, what? Don't move, boomer, he has a story." Lizzie darted over to Percy, clasping her hands and standing as close as she could, staring him down. "Tell. Me. _Everything_."

"Uh… how long have you got?"

"What, before I leave or before Boomer's heart gives out?"

"Which… whichever comes first? I don't know."

"Stop faffing and _tell me_."


	39. Don't play charades with Lou, she sucks

**Another one today as I feel generous! ^_^ **

**To HoO Fan- (Chapter 37) If anyone wants to get me a Christmas present, it'll be a T-shirt with 'OK, boomer' on please and thank you! ^_^ **

**To RandomFanAuthor- NUCLEAR FIRESTORM OF DREAD, I _love_ that! Did you _reaaaaalllly_ expect me to be 100% nice at Christmas? :P**

* * *

"It's a duck!"

"It's got nothing to do with _birds_!"

"Then why's she flappin'?"

"I don't know, Lou, she's on your team!"

"It's a _duck_!"

"It's not!" Percy exasperated. She threw on of the couch cushions at him, quickly apologising under Sally's Look. Percy stuck his tongue out once their mother wasn't looking. _Coward_, Louisa mouthed, sending him a certain gesture.

"Lou!" Reyna chided, hands on hips. "I am _not_ a duck and I'm _not_ standing here so you can torment your brother!"

"Ah, she spoke! Disqualified!" Annabeth smirked.

"Overruled!" Louisa argued, on her feet. "She didn't tell me anythin' 'bout the thing!"

"Accepted." Jessica nodded. Annabeth huffed and flopped back in her seat. Louisa blew a raspberry and sat back down. "Last chance, Reyna, you've got thirty seconds." She inclined her head, fixing Louisa with such a stern look, she sat still. "Witchcraft." Jessica muttered, watching the timer with a frown.

"Film." Louisa said, following the gestures. "Three words. First word. Uh… Duck?"

"I will kill you." Reyna warned. She held her arms out. Louisa hesitated. "I swear to gods, if you say 'duck' one more time…"

"That's time!" Jessica called. Louisa smiled sheepishly. Reyna rolled her eyes and squished herself back in next to her, slugging her in the knee for good measure. "Uh, Sally. You're next." Sally had teamed with Grover. She took a slip of paper from Jessica's basket. Grover sat forward in his seat.

"Film." He said. "Two words. Second word? Why second word?" Sally shot him a pointed look and he sat up straighter. She gestured to herself, spreading her arms as if ballooning, squatting like a ballerina and glaring when Louisa snickered. "Uh, ballet? Ballerina? No?" She stood straight, putting something on her head. "Hat. You've got a hat?" She nodded and looped something around her neck.

"Noose."

"That's a _scarf_, Lou."

"And it's not your turn, shush." Reyna elbowed her. "I do now question how you put scarfs on though."

"You've got a hat and a scarf?" Grover puzzled. Sally nodded again, spreading her arms and squatting.

"Thirty seconds!"

"Um, you're… you're bigger? You're- oh! Oh, you're a snowman!" She flailed her hands, giving the motion for film once more. "Oh, The Snowman, The Snowman!"

"Yes!"

"Haha, yes!" They high-fived and Sally sat back down. Jessica tallied their point. Louisa huffed.

"Still looked like a noose."

"Reyna," Jessica said solemnly, "I am so sorry you're stuck with her."

"Hey!"

"Thank you, Jessica." Reyna bowed her head.

"Also, _hey_!" Louisa pouted. Reyna snorted and squeezed her hand. Denise's cold eyes locked on the contact.

"Boomer!" Lizzie interrupted, beaming. "It's our turn!" She hopped up, taking from the basket. "Ooh, I like this one. Here we go." Jessica started the timer. Lizzie began the motions. Denise just stared at her.

"Book!" Louisa chipped in.

"No, you're useless at this, Fish, _useless_."

"Three words." Reyna continued. Lizzie nodded approvingly. "First word… cup?" Lizzie expanded the gap between her hands, swigging from the imaginary cup again. "Uh, glass? Mug? Goblet?" Lizzie snapped her fingers and pointed at her excitedly.

"Goblet of Fire!" Louisa exclaimed, laughing victoriously when her sister stared at her, dumbfounded. Reyna slowly turned her head, smile tight.

"_Why_," she growled, making Louisa jump, "could you not do that on _our_ turn?!"

"'Cos ours was a duck!"

"It wasn't a duck!"

"Ooh, domestic." Percy laughed. A knock at the door quelled the bickering. Louisa sprang up, finding something even worse on the other side.

"What the _fuck_ are you wearin'?"

"Christmas!" Mikey spread his arms and beamed. Louisa made a stunned noise of agreement, accepting his hug. He had dressed up as Santa, but- in his enthusiasm- had added elf ears and shoes, wore a ton of tinsel and had glued baubles to his hat, string lights around his waist twinkling and flashing. To top it all off, a large sack of presents at his feet. To her relief, Dylan and Connor were wearing regular Christmas jumpers.

"We tried to lose him." Dylan assured, patting her on the head in greeting.

"Except we can't lose him." Connor added. "It's almost like he's magnetic."

"Oh, Lou wouldn't let you lose me!" Mikey laughed. "I'm her favourite! Ooh, who's that?" He bustled in, waving exuberantly. "Merry Christmas everyone! Sally, you look lovely as always-"

"Thank you, Mikey."

"-and Jessica, your hair! It's _amazing_, oh my gods!" He went around, greeting everyone with compliments and a present of chocolates. No-one missed the not-so-subtle curious looks sent to Reyna.

"Rey," Louisa returned to her seat, squeezing Reyna's knee, "he will grill ya. 'N' I'm sorry. But he's nosy. 'N' has no off-switch."

"Trust me," Connor said, perching himself on the arm beside Reyna, "we've looked. I'm Connor."

"Reyna." They shook. Dylan introduced himself.

"And that's Mikey."

"Yeah, I figured. He really is as mad as you said."

"Aww, you've been telling your friends about me!" Mikey gushed. "Oh, and look! Denise is here! Merry Christmas, ma'am!" Denise looked him up and down, a slight wrinkle to her nose. She turned away sharply with a _mmph_. Mikey didn't even bat an eyelid, spinning on his heel and clapping his hands together. "Okey dokey, what are we doing? Charades? I'm the _best_ at charades."

"Then you can team up with Lou." Reyna decided. "I've met blind people better at this than her."

"It was a _duck_!"

"I will drop-kick you."

"Ooh, I'd pay good money to see that." Lizzie grinned. "Don't look at me like that, Fish. I have big sister duties to attend to and watching my little sister get drop-kicked to unspecified locations is top of my list!"

"Feel loved, really do."


	40. Annabeth's plan

**To RandomFanAuthor- Aww, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! ^_^ And Reyna dropkicking Lou... it can be arranged...**

* * *

"Oh, you never let me win!"

"Ain't my fault ya've got weak-ass noodle arms."

"Right, listen here, _Fish_. I don't have Amazon training or-"

"I ain't Amazon trained."

"-or wear armour that's fifty times my weight-"

"It's about three times."

"-or fight monsters that you've pissed off in the past-"

"That one's right."

"-so forgive me if my 'weak-ass noodle arms' aren't a match for your Wonder Woman-ness."

"Still ain't an Amazon. Rey's sister is the Amazon queen though."

"What? _Really_? Ooh, give me her number!"

"Um, we don't really have phones?" Reyna shrugged a shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, forgot about that." Lizzie huffed. "Fine, tell her I'm single."

"Thought you were straight?"

"How can you be straight if there's an _Amazon_ _Queen_?"

"I'll give ya that one." Louisa agreed. Reyna cleared her throat and glared. "_What_? Your name _literally_ means 'queen', I ain't gonna get much better than that, am I?"

"Aww, nice save, Fish. Could've done without the eye roll though." Louisa stuck her tongue out, finally delving into the cracker she had won. She beamed at the red hat, gave her sister the nail file. "What's the joke then?"

"You." Louisa smirked, setting the hat on her head lopsidedly. "Why did no-one bid for Rudolph 'n' Blitzen on eBay?"

"Should've gone to Amazon." Reyna muttered.

"Because you can't sell animals on eBay?" Lizzie said at the same time.

"No. 'Cos they were two deer."

"Oh, ha ha." Lizzie wrinkled her nose. She made to say something more when her attention fixed on something over their heads. "Um…" She pointed up, taking a step backwards and grinning. Louisa squinted at her suspiciously, only looking up when Reyna swatted her arm.

"Ew."

"Mistletoe." Reyna felt her face warm. Louisa was rather pink, eyes following the string suspending the plant. Annabeth, held up via piggy-back by Percy, had taped string to the ceiling right across the room. They were at a safe distance and she had left enough give in the tape to lower the mistletoe a little more. Louisa still glared at them. Annabeth smiled sweetly and waved. Percy snickered.

"Ah, you know the rules." Lizzie teased, wagging her finger at them. "Wait, hold on, boomer's homophobic senses are tingling. Excuse me." She squeezed between them. "Boomer!" She called cheerily. "What was Grandad like?"

Reyna glanced at Louisa as soon as Denise had been distracted. The mistletoe was less than a foot other their heads now. Louisa studied it warily. She slowly raised her hand, poking it with her forefinger. A spark of green shrivelled the mistletoe, spinning up and along the string. Annabeth yelped, shaking her hands as her end of the string crumbled.

"Not fair!" She chided, Percy setting her down to inspect her hands. Louisa shrugged, kissing Reyna's cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Rey-Rey."

"You too, trouble." Reyna smiled, taking her hand in her own.

"I ain't trouble."

"You're _always_ trouble."

"That's more like it. Wanna steal the Christmas puddin'?"

"I'll take some mince pies."

"Mom!" Lizzie called. "Boomer won't tell me anything about Grandad!"

"Don't call me 'boomer'!"

"OK, boomer!"

* * *

**It's _Chrisssttmmaaaaaaasssss_! **


	41. Chad the Dad

**Totally had this all done before Christmas, haha, yeah... D:**

* * *

"How's your hands?" Reyna asked. Annabeth showed her palms with a sigh.

"It was basically a strong static shock, but more… oceany. Did it work?" Reyna's cheeks warmed and she nodded. Annabeth beamed. "You're welcome. Although, I'm sure you're on Denise's radar now."

"I think I was anyway. I'm not white."

"Oh, how dare you, Reyna, that's absolutely _appalling_."

"I'm not sorry."

"Good." Annabeth grinned. "I still want to know how you get her to behave." She aimed her chin in Louisa's direction. Reyna smiled secretively. "Fine." Annabeth crossed her arms. "Keep your secrets."

"_Moooommmmm_, she won't stop callin' me _Fish_!"

"But you _are_ Fish!" Lizzie cooed, capturing her sister in a bear hug. "Ickle Fish, you're so _cute_!"

"MOM!"

"OK, OK, I'm coming." Jessica remained at the buffet table, loading up on mince pies, until Louisa called her again and Lizzie began cackling. "What is it, Fish?"

"_Nooo_!" Louisa squirmed and protested, swearing in Latin.

"Lou!" Reyna laughed. "That's vulgar!"

"Help!"

"Don't move, Reyna!" Lizzie warned. "Obey my standards, _obey my standards_!" She jabbed a finger at her, glaring. Reyna furrowed her brow at her. "I don't care if you're some hoity-toity leader person in a cape-"

"Cloak."

"-you will obey my standards or Fish is off-limits."

"Um, excuse me-?"

"Shut up, Fish. Big Sister is talking."

"But-"

"Sssh." Lizzie stroked the top of Louisa's head. "Hush now, small child." Louisa settled into a full-body deadpan, a look Reyna knew all too well- _murder_. "Hey, Mom, seeing as you're over here, can I ask you something?"

"Depends."

"Cool. Uh, this way?" She smiled sheepishly, pointing away from the others. Jessica rolled her eyes, taking a large bite of pie and followed. Lizzie dragged Louisa along. "Don't worry, boomer, I will be back!" She smiled and waggled her fingers. Denise ignored her.

They settled in the kitchen, Louisa finally wriggling free. She proceeded to raid the fridge, muttering to herself. "I hope those aren't swear words, young lady."

"Oh, they're always swear words." Jessica shook her head. "What'd you want then? There's mince pies out there with my name on."

"I waaaanted to ask about my dad?"

"Oh. _Oh_." Jessica snorted, snickering into the back of the hand holding her half-eaten mince pie. Louisa looked over her shoulder questioningly, eating a large chocolate cake with her fingers. "Don't worry about him too much."

"Who was he?"

"Someone I went to school with. You know what my mother's like- boys were for marriage and babies."

"Ooh, you've got that look. What did you do?"

"His name was Chadwick Rowbotham."

"Oh my gods, Mom, a _Chad_?"

"I didn't even like him."

"Then why-?"

"Because my mother _reeeally_ didn't like him. And he thought very highly of himself, needed to be brought down a peg or two. He always thought he could have any girl he wanted. Except me. You should have seen the look on his face when he realised…" She grinned devilishly. "He was using girls for their bodies, so I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine."

"Good for you!" Lizzie beamed.

"Mother found out, tried to send me to an all-girls boarding school in… oh, I can't even remember where. We went for a tour of the school and I asked the principal if the school had a maternity ward. By that point, I was too far pregnant for an abortion. Not that I would have had one anyway- I treasure Mother's face when she found out, one of the best moments of my life."

"Did Chad know? About me?"

"Eventually. He thought he could win me back. I told him I didn't need him anymore, I was having a baby and he had served his purpose. Never saw him after that. Think his mom moved him schools. And my mom took me out of school until you were born."

"And then she gave me away."

"Yes." Jessica's smile dimmed. "That wasn't part of my plan. I… I was going to run away with you." Lizzie tensed, her look of amusement fading into wistful awe. "Yeah." Jessica said, nodding solemnly. "But you're here now." She smiled. "And Mother can stick it."

"Yeah," Louisa agreed around a mouthful of cake, "she can fuck off."

"That's not what I said, Lou."

"That's what I said."

"We know, Lou."

"Fish." Lizzie corrected, cake splattering on the side of her head. "OK, Fish, that's it. Outside, let's do this, I'm gonna kick your ass."


	42. Witch, alien, Esmelle

**To RandomFanAuthor- yes, a Chad! Disgraceful!**

* * *

"So, you're a witch?"

"Why does-? _No_, I'm not a _witch_."

"She is a bitch though." Louisa butted in, grinning cheekily. Dylan, sat on the sofa, threw his hand out behind him. Louisa high-fived him, laughing victoriously.

"Takes one to know one." Reyna muttered. Mikey gasped.

"Yo!" He beamed, flourishing his hand as high as he could. Reyna smiled and obliged, smirking at Louisa's consequent bewilderment.

"How come Mikey gets high-fives?"

"I've adopted Mikey."

"Aww, I love you too!" Mikey gushed. "You look like a no-no for a hug though. Will she kill me if I hug her? I'm gonna hug you anyway." Louisa was not impressed when Reyna allowed the hug as well, grumbling to herself. "Oh, don't get jealous, Lou-Lou! She's gorgeous and kick-ass, but not my type!"

"Lou-Lou?" Reyna echoed.

"It's worse than _Fish_." Louisa confirmed with a sigh.

"You call me Rey-Rey, how's it any different?"

"Oh, that's so cute!" Mikey squealed. "Ship it!" He sang, clapping and wriggling. "Also, Lizzie is _so cool_ and I am thoroughly enjoying this 'Boomer' thing!"

"You would. Ya lil' shit."

"Um, have you _looked_ in a mirror lately?"

"With that hair, I doubt it." Mikey snarked, earning another high-five from Reyna. Louisa bunched her jaw, staring at Reyna, incredulous and challenging. Dylan turned in his seat, resting his arm on the back of the couch. He had hardly opened his mouth when Louisa shushed him. He tried again and she held up a finger quicker than he could blink, accompanied with another shush.

Mikey nudged Reyna. "Dylan's been trying to make a deal with her for _years_. If they're both single by the time they're thirty-five, they should just get married. 'Cept, Lou's having none of it and threatened to castrate him."

"That sounds more like Lou." Reyna nodded, turning her head to stare Dylan down. "But I have zero problems castrating him myself if he tries anything like that again." Dylan's smile vanished, paling. He slowly faced forward, slouching and keeping his head down.

"Holy shit, you really are a witch!"

"I'm not a witch!"

"Hell yeah, my girlfriend's _magic_! Hogwarts here we come!"

"Think we're too old for Hogwarts." Mikey whispered.

"Ain't you just a walkin' funsponge?" Louisa huffed. "Ass." She wrinkled her nose at them. "I'm gonna chill with Estelle. She's nicer than ya'll." She waved vaguely, flipping them a middle finger at the last second and stalked off. Reyna snorted, folding her arms.

"I don't know what to do with her." Mikey grabbed her arm, on his toes to peer closely in her eyes.

"_Marry her_. Please. At least I won't have to listen to castration threats. And the threats that come after for the rest of the body." He grimaced. "She's violent." He whispered. Reyna looked at him, contemplating that last input.

"Nah." She decided. "She just communicates differently to the rest of us."

"I _knew_ she was an alien."

"No-one said anything about aliens."

"A witch and an alien, that's adorable!"

"You're just as mad as she is."

"Aww, thank you!"

* * *

"Hey, Esmelle."

"Estelle!" Percy corrected.

"Nope. Esmelle. She smells." Louisa nodded. "Don't look at me like that, ya lil' turd. Ya stink." Estelle, only a few months old and marvelling at the hubbub of her first Christmas, gaped at her big sister, waving her pudgy fists about.

Percy sighed, rolling his eyes. Louisa set her hands on her hips. "I told ya'll, I don't like babies."

"No duh." Percy readjusted the tot on his hip. "What if you have kids of your own one day?"

"I think we all agreed that _that_ should never happen."

"Well, yeah, but… what if?"

"I'm gettin' a dog."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Dogs stink too."

"Dogs are better than people. Here, Connor." She caught his arm as he was going by, dragging him to an abrupt halt. "Ain't dogs better than people?"

"Yes, but I personally prefer cats over dogs."

"Ugh, not helpin'." She swung his arm away. Connor took that as his cue to go, making a beeline for the buffet. "Here, get this. Lizzie's dad is a Chad."

"Ew, why?"

"Spite."

"Oh. OK."

"'N' a little bit of a revenge too."

"Against-?"

"Yeah, against Boomer."

"That's her name now, isn't it?"

"Duh."

* * *

**Apologies for not updating as much last couple of days- tiny bit behind on writing, having trouble with my laptop- like it's _not working at all_, currently using my brother's! And, forgive me, but tiny bit more encouraged by reviews! If you put a request in for one-shots, I've got some on the list, but remind me so I can get to them once I've worked my way through this one! ^_^ **


	43. Piper's weakness

**I lost my train of thought on the Christmas one, sorry! **

**Somebody requested more Piper oogling Lou, so I tweaked it a bit- they are 19/20 ish and not-so-subtely mildly crushing on each other. But Piper still stares.**

* * *

Piper hopped up the steps to Cabin Three, humming to herself. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear, neatly rapping her knuckles on the door. "Lou!" She called. There was a thud inside, followed by a quiet _fuck_. "You OK?" Piper asked, hearing a smile in her tone. The door opened, Louisa pouting at her, with a hand on her hip. "Oh." Piper said, heat welling in her face.

"Ya early. Fuck's sake, Piper." She spun on her heel, motioning vaguely over her shoulder to welcome her visitor in. Piper remained on the doorstep for a moment, tapping her cheeks with her fingertips. They had arranged to meet for lunch the day before and Piper had thought she was quite prepared for the meal. She was not, however, prepared for _this._

Louisa, it seemed, had only recently come out of the shower. Piper had interrupted her dressing; she wore everything but a T-shirt and her hair was still damp and untied. It hung just past her shoulders, a perfect blend of curls and waves her siblings would have killed for. Piper tried not to stare as Louisa paced back and forth, humming to herself in search of something, but it was a test of her will. Scarred arms that looked to contain the strength needed to rip a man's head clean off. Strong shoulders and defined back, only partially covered by her sports bra and hair, marred by the large, twisted scar left from Chrysaor's blade. Piper's stomach twisted at the sight of it and she did not fare much better when Louisa turned her way again- the scar had a twin.

Louisa clicked her tongue impatiently, squinting suspiciously around the room. "Tyson tidied." She huffed. "My last hair tie snapped 'n' I can't find any more." She looked to Piper, a tad confused when the other girl squeaked and started, staring at her wide-eyed and pink-faced. "Ya ain't got any, have ya?"

"Um… back at my cabin." Piper managed, internally wincing at the slight high-pitched lilt to her voice. Louisa didn't seem to notice, pushing her hands through her hair irritably. Piper could feel an Irish jig in her chest at the uplift of those arms and the definition it brought. Louisa turned again, just slightly, unwittingly giving Piper ample profile of her body; wider in the hip than Piper realised, smooth curve into her waist and then up some more-

_Oh gods,_ she was staring now, _full-on_ staring. And someone had set her head on fire too. She couldn't handle this. Watching Louisa sparring with the boys had been one thing. Seeing her relaxed and like _that_ was too much for Piper to handle. She was so accustomed to seeing her in baggier clothing or at the very least, sleeveless. _This_ was beyond her paygrade, _galaxies_ beyond.

What Piper didn't know, on the other hand, was that Louisa had learnt her lesson. Via Jason. Who had so very kindly pointed out to his little cousin that Piper could not help herself around her. And Louisa, being the ever-responsible and understanding little shit that she was, took it upon herself to _reeeeallly_ test Piper's limits with this. Piper was, more often than not, level-headed and good with her words and feelings. Louisa, born for destruction and mayhem, revelled in this.

She knew where her hair ties were. She also knew where her T-shirt was. And she also knew that Piper wasn't actually early. There was a plan. Sort of.

It was taking a considerable amount of her effort not to whip round and make Piper jump or yell 'Gotcha!', but she could feel the weight of her gaze on her constantly when her back was turned. Piper always seemed to find the cabin rather interesting or _stare_ at Louisa with such intensity, it gave her the feeling they weren't going to lunch, but to find Louisa's grave instead.

She spun on her heel and moved to her trunk, shoving stuff about aimlessly, muttering 'no, not that one' or 'that's not it' every so often. She had a tub of hair ties in the corner, now buried under Camp T-shirts and art supplies. She withdrew a purple camp shirt- sticking with her roots- and had to bite her lip to contain laughter at Piper's not-as-discreet-as-she-thought huff.

Piper swung her arms, rocking on the balls of her feet. "Come on, Lou. I'm hungry."

"Aha, there's the little bastards!" Louisa grabbed the hair tie tub, lording it over her head and grinning. She sat cross-legged on the floor, shaking the tub as though it were a snowglobe. With a snap of her fingers, her hair dried and de-tangled. She tipped her upright arm back a little, blowing a raspberry. "Pipes, do my hair for me. Can't be bothered."

"Wait, really?"

"I might get it cut…" Louisa mused.

"_No_." Piper stressed, snatching the tub. She tossed the lid aside, readying a tie on her wrist. "Do _not_ let me have this _one time_ of doing your hair and then _cut it_. That's just cruel." Louisa simply shrugged. Piper had her hair done in seconds, a French braid down her back. "Now, if I had some bobby pins, I could-"

"I thought ya wanted food, not torture devices?" Louisa asked, reaching for her sneakers.

"Bobby pins aren't- you're impossible."

"Thanks." Louisa grinned over her shoulder. Piper grimaced at her. Louisa stomped her foot into her second sneaker, stretching her leg out before her. "Food?"

"Food." She nodded once, curtly. Louisa sprang to her feet, offering her arm. The earlier rosiness returned in a heartbeat to Piper's face, but she did not object to linking her arm through Louisa's. Now Louisa was a bit closer to her, she could feel a tiny portion of her cocky-little-shitness fading. Piper had actually put some effort into her looks today- not that the effort was needed, but seeing it there only made her that much more beautiful. She didn't seem to be wearing much make-up, yet artfully so, and her hair was elegantly braided with feathers, pinned back from her face in such a way that it framed her cheekbones. Louisa felt a tingle in her fingers as kaleidoscopic eyes met hers- she had to draw this girl later. Her water colours would be best for capturing the blend of hues in those eyes.

Piper frowned. "What?" A cool breeze whistled by, catching the scent of Piper's perfume- something delicately spicy. She tapped her forefinger on Piper's nose lightly, smirking.

"Only returnin' the favour, Pipes." The rosy pink burned into crimson. She led on, keeping Piper on her arm and totally not noticing the not-as-discreet-as-she-thought feel of her bicep. Or the way Piper's hip bumped into hers on every other step. Or how that spicy scent seemed to linger, even without the wind.


	44. Dr Lou

"Help!" Piper called, banging on the door of the twins' room. Someone thumped back and she knew exactly who she had woken up. "Lou, I need your water magic!"

"But it's _three in the_ _fuckin' mornin'."_

"Jason hit his head!" The door opened, Louisa squinting sleepily at her.

"Was it a brick again?"

"No, he- he was training, and these wild harpies attacked, can you just- _come on_!" Piper grabbed her by the wrist, hauling her out. She dragged her up to the deck, where she had left Jason propped against some barrels. Louisa scoped for any more harpies. "They're gone." Piper assured. "I got the last one before I came to get you."

"Why's he up here still?"

"I couldn't move him."

"Jay." She called, crouching and tapping her cousin's cheek. An angry welt had appeared on his temple, blood dribbling over his cheekbone, a wonderful layer of bruises. "This kid's gonna end up with brain damage at this rate." She raised her hand, water slipping from a barrel and gloving her hand. She pressed it to the wound, yawning into her free hand. "Jaaaaasooon," she sang, closing her eyes as slumber pulled on her, "you're a diiiiicckkk."

"Lou." Piper pinched her. Louisa started with a snort. The injury was gradually lessening, she washed away the blood. Within the minute, Jason was back to normal.

Except he didn't wake.

"Mm." Louisa said, rubbing at her eyes. "Get him some nectar."

"I already gave him some."

"Oh. Good for you."

"Why isn't he waking up?"

"Eh, let him sleep. 'N' on that note, let me sleep."

"Lou…"

"Alright, alright, fine." She pushed herself up, hands on knees. She stumbled off, pressing her fingers to her eyes to keep them open. "There'll be consequences for this, Pipes!" She called back. Piper could hear her moving about by the cabins, a door bursting open.

"Jason." Piper said, shaking his shoulder. His breathing was fine, his pulse was steady. Maybe Louisa was right, maybe he really was just sleeping. "Jason." She tried again. She _had_ to make sure he was alright. "Oy, wakey wakey!"

"Here we go." Louisa had returned, spinning something on a wire. Piper frowned at it until it stilled; she could only face-palm when it did.

"That's not going to help!"

"I don't see you comin' up with anythin'!"

"Well, you could _try_ and come up with something _normal_!"

"Oh, how rude. I ain't ever done anythin' normal in my life. Fuck you, Piper."

"Help. _Please_. Do I need to get Percy?"

"Hell no, I can do anythin' better than Percy!" Louisa blew a raspberry. Piper just stared at her. Louisa decided to proceed, crouching and budging Piper over with her hip.

She had acquired something completely useless, given the context- Leo's GameBoy charger.

Piper swatted at her, but it did not deter her from sticking the end into Jason's mouth and then the plug in his hand.

"And _how_ did you expect it to work?"

"Have a lil' faith, Pipes."

"Oh, I have faith. Faith that you're a complete _maniac._"

"You love me." Louisa grinned, standing up. She leaned down as if to speak into Jason's ear. Piper sat back on her heels, putting her head in her hands. Why did she have such stupid friends?

Rather than speak, Louisa did what came natural to her- she yelled. Jason jumped at his own name being bellowed in his ear, sparks flittering along his arms. She cackled gleefully as they raced up the wire and zapped his tongue.

He spat the charger end out, coughing and grimacing.

"What the-?"

"It's just Lou." Piper sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, I asked her to _help_."

"I helped! 'N' now I know this works!" She snatched the charger up, shaking it with victory. "Leo's gonna be so happy!" Jason blinked at her.

"Did you try healing me… by _plugging me in_?"

"Uh, _duh_. What else did ya expect?"

"Oh my gods, _why_ am I related to you?"

"Just lucky, I guess. Now _goodnight_. Wake me again 'n' I'll unplug ya."


	45. Clown

**This is something that's been in my head for a while, but I couldn't word it properly. Hope it'll do! **

**To RandomFanAuthor- Of course it's how you revive people! **

**To HoO Fan- Thank you! ^_^**

* * *

"You're _such_ a child."

"Says the one that asked me ta come trick-or-treatin'."

"I've never been before!"

"Don't worry, Rey-Rey. We will trick-or-treat even when we're a million years old."

"So that means you'll be a ghost tormenting some poor child."

"Nooo, where are ya gettin' these ideas?" Louisa smiled impishly. Reyna sighed, tugging on her hand. "I got way more candy than you."

"You _stole_ mine. That doesn't count."

"I took the ones you didn't like!"

"Didn't replace them though, did you?"

"You never asked. Oy, don't roll ya eyes. Ya know what I'm like." Reyna hummed in agreement. Louisa stuck her tongue out, battling to remove a sweet wrapper one-handed. Reyna could never quite take her girlfriend seriously, but less so tonight- she was dressed as a Vaporeon. Piper and her siblings helped custom make the outfit, much to Louisa's delight. But it did mean Reyna had to be a water type Pokémon trainer.

They were heading back to Louisa's home; Jessica had promised a horror movie marathon and popcorn. They had stuck to the main streets for the best part, Louisa cutting under a bypass and grumbling at her unsuccessful sweet endeavours. Reyna let her hand go, she laughed triumphantly and gorged the sweet as soon as she could. "Why didn't ya do that earlier?"

"You never asked."

"Oh, shush." Louisa blew a raspberry, starting off again, splashing through puddles. Reyna followed behind, shaking her head with a small smile. Louisa was never going to change.

She bumped into her just before the other side of the bypass. Louisa had stopped, head tilted to one side as she contemplated something. Reyna stepped to stand at her side, frowning.

A clown.

It stood, with a bloodied hammer, head also tilted with a scarlet smile. On the floor, a body, its head a wild spray of gunk and blood. A breeze whistled past them, bringing a musty smell with it.

Reyna glanced sidelong at Louisa at the same she glanced at her. A little smile tugged up the corners of Louisa's mouth, a smile Reyna was all too familiar with- pure, unbridled mischief. Reyna had to oblige.

"Vaporeon!" She yelled, flinging her arm in the direction of the clown, battle-stance in tow. "I choose you!"

Naturally, Louisa could not make the noise her Pokémon could, _but_ she did take incredible joy in the noise she could do- she shouted. No words, just loud and challenging and shit-stirring to a whole new level. She lunged, charged the clown, fists clenched, bellowing at the top of her lungs. The clown stumbled backwards, prank back-firing, arms flailing. "Use Tidal Wave!" Reyna laughed, bouncing on the soles of her feet. The puddles responded immediately, blanketing up behind the manic Pokémon.

"It was a joke, a joke!" The clown cried. Louisa held the water back, skidding to a halt. She stayed quiet, tipping her head again. "I'm going, I'm going, I'm sorry!" He scarpered, tripping over his own feet in his haste. He scrambled up the other end of the bypass and vanished from view, whimpering.

The water fell, sloshing over Reyna's boots. Louisa spun on her heel, not changing her stance otherwise. Reyna pressed her lips together.

Louisa broke first, bursting into peals of laughter. Reyna followed suit, doubling over, hands on her knees.

"Again, again!"

"As tempting as that is, your mother is waiting for us."

"Oh, she'll understand. Actually, she might even want ta join in." Louisa mused. Reyna shook her head, collecting Louisa's bucket.

"Here you go, you loon." She snickered. Louisa did not take her bucket, eyeing Reyna suspiciously. "If we find anymore before we get there, we'll get them." Louisa grinned, grabbing Reyna's head to blow a raspberry on her cheek.

"You're the best!"

"I know I am, now get off!"

"Nope!"


	46. Horrors of the Deep- no wait, it's Lou

It was their birthday. Their first birthday together- they had met after their sixteenth and Percy had been missing for their seventeenth. Louisa blamed him either way, claimed he owed her a lifetime of birthday presents.

"What about me?" He asked. "You should give me presents too."

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"Younger siblings don't give presents."

"Tyson gives me presents."

"Then go ask Tyson."

"I think I will."

"Oh, shush!" Sally butted in. She had been so excited and rather emotional about today. She had made them breakfast- all blue- and had held onto them for what felt like an eternity. "My babies, my babies." She sniffed. Percy didn't mind, returning the embrace. Louisa, being a foot shorter than him, did mind, as she was being strangled.

"Mam." She wheezed, tapping Sally's arm. "Dyin'."

"Sssh, no you're not." Sally shook her head. Percy snickered, which dealt him an elbow to the ribs. "Behave." Sally chided. She held them at arm's length, the waterworks threatening to restart. "Right." She said. "Go away."

"Rude."

"She's throwing us a surprise party and needs us out of the way." Percy translated. Sally scoffed.

"Nonsense!" She denied theatrically. "Too many demigods! You two can eat through a house alone, can you _imagine_ how much food I'd need?"

"Mom's more of a problem than demigods." Louisa pointed out. Sally said nothing on the matter, but her face spoke for her.

Percy gripped his sister's shoulders, turning her around.

"We'll be back for dinner." He said, kissing his mother's cheek.

"Be good." Sally warned. Louisa narrowed her eyes.

"Why ya only lookin' at me?"

"I wasn't."

"Liar."

"Percy-"

"I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thank you."

"I'm _right_ here."

"And now we're leaving!" Percy laughed. "Bye Mom!" He grinned, steering Louisa out.

* * *

They had a few hours to kill. Percy suggested a number of ideas- cinema, bowling, shopping, lunch- the usual stuff.

Louisa came up with something… more her speed.

And that is how Percy found himself at the bottom of the ocean, investigated by the lifeforms that dwelt there, both monstrous and not, besides a lunatic with no moral decency. He even told her that.

"You have no moral decency."

"So? This is _so_ much fun!"

"What if you get caught?"

"Bitch please. This is _my_ turf."

"There's no talking you out of this, is there?"

"Nope!"

"I wanted to go bowling." He grumbled. She shushed him. It was pitch black down here, but they could see via currents. Percy could only think to describe it as echolocation with the water itself. With it, they could see Louisa's up and coming prank target- a US Military submarine.

She assured him she had done this _many_ times and it never got old. He was not assured in any way shape or form and decided to hang back. He could see why the trick appealed to her and on one level, it amused him. On the other level, he was big brother and had to keep her out of trouble. He said as much to her, to which she only laughed.

"Bro, bro. There ain't no keepin' me out of trouble. People have tried 'n' failed thousands of times."

"Not even Reyna?" He jibed, smirking. Louisa pretended not to hear him, watching the submarine close in. Once it was in within twenty feet of them, she grinned maniacally and launched herself over the rock they had used as cover. Percy watched for a minute, exasperating. Louisa flitted about the submarine, using the water to her advantage and speeding around it. She knocked on windows, stomped her feet on the hatch, pressed her face to the glass and called them all dicks. "Lou!" Percy hissed. "They're the military!"

"It's just another branch of the government bein' assholes. These people shouldn't have ta fight for some rich mothershitter."

"That's still not a word."

"Yes it is. Trademark Lou." She nodded seriously, lounging on top of the craft. She drummed her fists on the metal, humming to herself. Percy sighed, swimming over with the intention to stop her.

Instead, he locked eyes with a face in the window. He swore. Louisa cackled delightedly, rolling over and hanging upside down to blow a raspberry at the man inside. She could see him scream and fall away in terror, saw his shadow scrambling away. Percy swam up, grabbing her ankle and pulling her back out of sight.

"You're a menace to society."

"Thank you."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Since I found out I could come down here. Ain't it great?"

"No, no it is not."

"Aww, don't get ya panties in a bunch, bro. This is hilarious. They go back with ghost stories, I love it. If I die, I'm comin' back as a poltergeist."

"_If_ you die?"

"Did I stutter?"

"Oh my gods." Percy put his head in his hands. "I always wanted a little sister, but you are too much." She snorted, using his shoulder as leverage to hop over him and land on the hatch. "Don't you dare open it."

"I ain't gonna kill 'em. The government does that well enough on its own."

"Lou…"

"Bro, if you ever sign up ta the military, ya'll gonna have ta fight me."

"Being a demigod is exhausting enough, thank you." He frowned. "Do you really hate the military?"

"I hate the government." She shrugged. "One day, I'll get ta the White House 'n' kick some ass."

"Why haven't you already?"

"Been busy kickin' ass elsewhere."

"Or haunting submarines."

"Yeah, that too." She grinned, stomping her feet on the hatch again. She swung her hands down, the currents swirled and butted the front of the machine. The nose dipped down. Throwing her hands up, she tipped the nose up. At Percy's glower, she rolled her eyes and resumed making faces in the windows, racing around the sub and picking portholes at random.

The submarine's turbine whirred. Percy reached down and grabbed her by the arm. He shoved down with his hand and the water whisked them upwards. The submarine continued on its way, speeding somewhat.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you like this?"

"Be more specific."

"I _literally_ can't."

"Ya love me." She smiled sweetly. Percy hummed dubiously, keeping her tucked under his arm. She poked his cheek, snickering. "Ya wouldn't be so pouty if ya'd joined in. My favourite ones are the drones they send down. That gets people up top. Also, I may or may not have accidentally started a forbidden romance between a squid 'n' a drone."

"Do I want to know?" Percy sighed. She scoffed with disbelief.

"_Obviously_. Ugh, who _wouldn't_? Piper thought it was great."

"You can't use Piper as an example."

"Why not?"

"Because you confuse her."

"Piper loves me."

"You think very highly of yourself."

"I have every right ta think highly of myself. I'm awesome."

"You haunt submarines."

"C'mon, bro. There's gotta be some perks ta this Big Three shit. Hauntin' subs is one of 'em."

"I don't think 'menace' is a strong enough word for you."

"Aww, thanks! Go left."

"Why?"

"There's a mermaid over there that owes me."

"Owes you what? No, nope, I don't want to know. We are going _bowling_."

"Ugh, you're so borin'."

"Mom told me to keep you out of trouble."

"Alright, fine. But if I kill someone with a bowlin' ball, it's on you, bro."


	47. Mallrats

**This comes from one of my weird dreams. I've written it with as much as I can remember so if it's a bit mad, blame the dream brain. **

**Can't believe I've not updated this one in so long! My bad, guys! Got distracted doing the rewrites!**

* * *

Annabeth beamed and unhooked the hanger. "What about this, Lou?" Her soon-to-be sister-in-law glanced over. "Little overalls!" Annabeth prompted, jostling the leg. "Aren't they cute?"

"Mm." Louisa said. She drew a T-shirt from her side of the racks. "I like this one better."

"You would." Annabeth sighed. The T-shirt was red with white letters that read 'MY AUNT IS THE BEST- DON'T TELL MOMMY'. "I'm getting these." Annabeth waved the overalls at her. Louisa pouted at her, holding onto the T-shirt defiantly. "I'm not putting that on my baby."

"I am."

"No. You're just as bad as Percy."

"Does he still want Sharkbait?"

"Or Nemo."

"Aha, call it Nemo."

"My baby is not an _it_. He's a boy."

"Hey. Don't stick ya labels on the squirt."

"_Again_ with this? Look, if he wants to change his labels and his pronouns, that's fine. But he's not even born to decide that yet, so _ssssshhh_." She put a finger to her lips, trying to glare her companion into quiet, like she had seen Reyna do so many times. Louisa just smirked, thumbing her nose at her.

"No."

"Why did I come with you again?" Annabeth rolled her eyes. Shopping with Louisa was a rarity and even more of a headache. She got bored easily, always wanted food and did not have any impulse control. Annabeth had managed to stop her buying a hoard of Nerf guns, but had failed to stop her buying the giant shark toy now squashed on the backseat of her car. Reyna would not be impressed to see that.

Louisa hummed to herself, sifting through the racks again. Annabeth was aiming for sensible clothes, cute clothes. Louisa was hunting for something amusing, something that her brother would undoubtedly use on his son. She had stuff with fish on, sharks, mermaids, surfing, pirates, the likes, determined to make sure her nephew was cool. Annabeth was not amused by that, insistent that her baby would be more like her- "He had better be after carrying him for so long!"

She moved around the rack, budging Annabeth over with her hip and inspecting the line of overalls for herself. Annabeth glowered at the side of her head, but got no reaction. She made a mental note not to invite Louisa out again any time soon. She watched sulkily, one hand on her bump, as Louisa tapped her finger on the nearest set of dungarees, making a face. "I like them." Annabeth said indignantly. "So I'm buying th- what's wrong?" Louisa had tensed. Despite her 'alleged' insanity, Annabeth had come to trust Louisa's instincts.

Louisa stared down the aisle, her back to Annabeth. They could see the shop's entrance from here, the line of tills and stack of baskets. Annabeth peered around her carefully, not seeing anything untoward. Louisa seemed to be listening more than observing, turning slowly to search behind Annabeth.

Annabeth listened to, hearing the crackly music somewhere overhead, the footsteps and mild chatter of other shoppers. She turned as well, hearing a door open somewhere. Louisa swore under her breath. She grabbed Annabeth by the shoulders, yanking her down to the floor, cushioning her fall with her own body.

Annabeth had seen the same thing she had.

Masked men, armed with guns.

Louisa wriggled them under the line of clothes, watching the men's booted feet sneak into the store. "You OK?" She breathed.

"Think I crushed your ribs." Annabeth whispered.

"Nah, had worse." Louisa shook her head. "Shit." She rubbed at her jawline, eyeing Annabeth up sidelong. She was piecing together a plan, Annabeth saw, wincing at various outcomes she did not share. Annabeth's condition probably made things a bit trickier.

"Not an invalid." Annabeth reminded her, still whispering and pinching her arm.

"I would be if you got hurt." Louisa countered quietly. "Stay here." She ordered, wriggling out backwards. Annabeth followed her feet, saw her stopping and gauging where the men were. She went to other aisles, quietly warning customers, making her way around cautiously.

Annabeth stayed put, curling up as much as she could. She was on her knees, doubled over, leaning on her elbows as to not squash her baby. Clothes tickled the top of her head. She was not as concealed as she would have liked, but it would have to do for now. What were these guys doing? She guessed the door they had come through was a fire exit, maybe, but why would they come into a shop full of baby gear, armed like they were going to war?

She glanced over her shoulder, inspecting the entrance. Customers were starting to leave, informing the staff. There were no security guards. The police would have to be called.

She ground her teeth, cursing silently. She had lost sight of Louisa's muddy sneakers, pressing her hands together. A sharp tap in her stomach, the baby kicking in protest at her uncomfortable position.

Where was Louisa? Was she still directing customers out? The men were fanning out now, checking every aisle. Annabeth could see one set of boots tromping down the aisle next to hers, ducking her head and bad-mouthing her bright hair. She had to find Louisa, she couldn't stay here, it wasn't safe. She had to-

_BANG._

Screams flew from the staff, the last stragglers of customers. The gunshot rang in Annabeth's ears- it had been close.

A second soon followed, then a stream, tearing through clothes and spraying across the ceiling. She heard Louisa yell, a thud of something hollow on something fleshy and the gunfire ceased. The boots now entering Annabeth's aisle turned away, joining their brethren in dealing with the interruption.

"Where did she go?" One demanded. Annabeth figured it was coming from about five aisles away, focusing on the corresponding boots. "Fuck." He swore, hurrying down another aisle. One of his buddies was lying on the floor, gun missing, head bleeding. "Find her!" He raged.

Something grabbed Annabeth's jacket. She jolted, wrenching her knife from her sleeve.

"Blondie!" Louisa hissed, going cross-eyed at the point of the blade.

"What the hell?" Annabeth hissed back, tempted to slap her, but realising the noise would only draw more trouble. Louisa put a finger to her lips, ducking her head to check on the gunmen. _Are you insane_? Annabeth mouthed incredulously. Louisa shrugged a shoulder. She had the missing gun, finger ready on the trigger.

Louisa motioned with her head, gripping Annabeth's hand. They moved along the aisle, doubled over. Annabeth stepped where Louisa stepped, hardly a squeak from their sneakers as they hurried along. Louisa kept the gun primed, peering around corners before rushing Annabeth ahead of her. A staff member noticed them coming, frantically gesturing.

Someone else noticed too.

"There!" He roared.

"_Shit_!" Louisa scrambled out, aiming the gun down the centre aisle. She fired a burst, catching the man in the shoulder. He darted to one side, but the other men were coming now. "Beth, go! I'll catch up!" Annabeth swore, but her baby was kicking more insistently. She had to keep going, for him.

The staff member that had waved at them, grabbed her by the hand and led her away, outside.

"The police have been called." She assured Annabeth. "They're on route now." They both ducked as more gunfire sounded, Louisa swearing some more. Another customer joined them, an elderly woman, as pale as her shock of white hair. She gripped Annabeth's shoulder.

"There's more in the rest of the mall. They're sealing the exits."

"How'd you-?"

"Heard one of them talking." She squeaked. "That's when your friend turned up and got us out."

"OH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" There was a clatter, followed by an alarm and the streaming of sprinklers. The shutter started to fold down, rattling and clanking.

"Lou!" Annabeth cried. Her friend appeared at the last moment, sliding under the shutters with under a foot before it closed. Louisa yanked it down the last of the way, jamming a knife into the loop where the lock went and into the ground. Bullets splattered the other side, denting the metal. "Move!" Annabeth ordered, waving at the other customers and staff. "That won't hold, move back! Lou, they're everywhere!"

"I know, I know! I heard!"

"We need to get these people out of here!" Annabeth motioned to the group. Louisa looked over her shoulder, blood seeping from her temple.

"I'm fine." She snapped, seeing Annabeth studying the scarlet mess. She jammed more pressure on the knife and rose. More gunshots rattled the shutter. The group of mortals scurried back more, huddling together.

Louisa considered their surroundings, narrowing her eyes. She wiped at the blood on her face and sighed. "That way." She said. "Move quietly, stay close."

"Where's your gun?" One of the staff members asked, shuffling closer.

"Embedded in a skull, let's _go_." Louisa grabbed Annabeth's hand and marched off. The group hurried along behind her, keeping tightly knit.

Louisa set off a fire alarm, checking each shop they passed. She peered over the railings to a floor below, listening intently. In her hand, was a radio speckled with blood. She thumbed the volume, pressing the device to her ear. Annabeth leaned in, hardly hearing the voices.

"-_crazy woman shut us in-"_

"_-fire alarm-"_

"_-police soon-"_

"_-fuck them, stick to the plan! Close all exits!" _

"_If you see that psycho, KILL HER_!"

"You make friends wherever you go." Annabeth joked weakly. Louisa half-smiled, leaning over the railing some more.

"There's about twenty of them down there." She mumbled. Annabeth frowned. "Yes, yes, I know, bad Lou. But there's twenty down there. More on the ground floor."

"And this floor?"

"Five back there." She jabbed a thumb over her shoulder. "Maybe another dozen that way." She pointed forward. Annabeth saw signs to the food court.

"And we're going _towards_ it?" The elderly woman squeaked.

"Yes 'n' no." Louisa sighed. "There's an elevator just before the food court. Gonna get you lot to it 'n' down ta the carpark underneath."

"If they see us in that elevator, it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel!" One of the staff protested.

"I can always throw you over the edge." Louisa pointed.

"Elevator."

"Thought so." She clipped the radio to her waistband and took Annabeth's hand again.

"I'm not going to run off."

"I know. 'Cos I'll rip ya arm off if ya try."

"Thanks, Lou. Love you too."

* * *

Annabeth kept an eye on Louisa. She could gauge where the intruders were and how many, and not because of prior knowledge overheard, but because she was an idiot and was using powers she shouldn't. If this back-tracked her progress, Reyna would have Annabeth's head for target practise.

She kept looking back, in case the baby shop gunmen had broken through the shutter. There was nothing so far. Maybe they had gone back to their original plan, left them alone. If so, that probably meant there were others looking out for them. "Lou." She breathed. "Can you tell where Percy is?"

"Ground floor. He ain't happy."

"Is he-?"

"Ain't hurt." Louisa assured. She could not say the same for herself. The bleeding had stopped, but only because Annabeth had stolen a T-shirt from Gap and used it to stem the flow. Blood had dried in a rough, thick line from Louisa's hairline to her jaw, dark droplets crusting on her jacket. They had split from Percy, Leo and Calypso earlier. They wanted to look at the video games. Annabeth wanted to spend a little time with Louisa, get her used to the idea of being an aunt. Despite the baby being due in less than a month, Louisa still did not like the idea of said baby. Squishy, was one word she had used. Loud and screamy were the others. "'N' shitty. They're always shitty." Annabeth had argued she was a baby once. Louisa shrugged, claimed it hadn't happened if she didn't remember it. That's when Annabeth found the dungarees and fell in love with them, ending that ridiculous argument.

"What about the other two?"

"Mm. They're OK. With Percy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. They're gettin' people out too."

"How many-?"

"Not many. Fire alarm worked. Just this lot 'n'… 'bout six or seven people with them."

The food court came into view. In an alcove, just before the first fast food chain, were two elevators.

Louisa listened again, looking around carefully. She motioned and ran across the floor, tugging Annabeth along with her. The group raced across, making a beeline for the lifts. The elderly woman smacked the button repeatedly. "That doesn't make it go faster." Louisa pointed out drowsily. Annabeth frowned, peering into her eyes. "'M fine." Louisa gently pushed her head away.

"How do we know they're not in the carpark?" Someone piped up. Louisa stared blearily in their direction.

"They ain't. They're in the mall."

"What if they're waiting outside?" They demanded.

"Then I'll deal with 'em. But I'm gonna get you lot ta ya cars first 'n' then I'll deal with 'em."

"Wait for-"

"The police?" Louisa finished for them, laughing bitterly. "That'll be the day." The elevator doors opened with a pleasant ding. Louisa ushered them in, Annabeth first. She checked their route behind them one last time and then squished herself in. Annabeth could see the reluctance in her eyes- claustrophobia was a bitch.

"It'll only be a minute, Lou." She assured. Louisa didn't seem to hear her, smacking the button to the carpark repeatedly and hypocritically. The elderly woman noticed, but didn't say anything.

Annabeth kept an eye on the numbers. Three, a series of downward arrows, then two. More arrows and the number one blinked up. Just as quickly, it was gone. The lights switched out with a thunk, plunging them into darkness. The elevator stopped harshly, bumping them about.

"No, no, no, no…" Louisa started hitting the button more, any button when that didn't work. Annabeth pushed her way through, retrieving her knife.

"Easy, Lou." She advised, resting a hand on Louisa's shoulder briefly. Louisa swore profusely, loudly, punching the panel so hard, she left behind a crimson stain on the polished steel. Annabeth tutted, moving to the door. She wedged her blade in the gap, a little bit of emergency lighting spilling through. "Lou." She called. "Help me here."

"Wh-?"

"The door, help me get the door open."

"R-right." Louisa pulled a knife from her sleeve too, cramming it in below Annabeth's. They pushed in opposite directions, forcing the doors open. Louisa stuck her hands in the second there was enough room, shoulders squaring as she shoved them open. Annabeth had a sudden moment of realisation- now she understood Piper's weakness around Louisa. Still not her type though- she would stick with the Seaweed Brain she was set to marry, not the Kelp Head in front of her.

They weren't in line with the doors for the first floor. Louisa sighed, having to crouch and steal Annabeth's knife to pry them open too. She climbed down first, a gap about a foot and a half square, a slight drop. Annabeth heard her take a deep breath, as if she had been trapped for hours, not a minute. "OK." She said, voice steadier. "Come through. Blondie, you last."

"Lou-"

"_Last_." She insisted. Annabeth sighed, but she understood. Louisa had to protect her, and her unborn nephew, or Percy would kill her, sister or not.

Their group sidled out, Louisa helping each one down. The elderly woman nearly fell, misjudging the jump. Louisa caught her with a muttered swear. "Don't _do_ that, Doris."

"My name is _Agnes_."

"Sorry." Louisa set her down carefully. "You OK?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Right. Blondie, now you."

"Sure I'm allowed out?"

"Can ya snark me later? We've gotta get out of here." Louisa's hand appeared, tapping the floor of the elevator irritably. Annabeth smacked her hand away, sitting down and sliding her legs through the gap. "Mind me nephew."

"I do know."

"Mind his head. They're squishy."

"I _know_." Annabeth wriggled through, Louisa hugging her legs and then gently lowering her. "See? No big deal."

"_That_," Louisa jabbed a finger at the elevator with a disgusted look, "was a really big deal. I'll take gunmen over _that_ any day."

"Bit extreme, but go off."

"Now what?" Agnes asked. "We're not in the carpark."

The power had been turned off here too, not a single light other than from the large window in the ceiling. There was no air conditioning, warmth already prickling their skin. Louisa looked around, picking at her lip as she thought.

"There's gotta be a staircase somewhere. Ah, bastards." She grabbed Annabeth and one of the others by the arm, hauling them into the nearest shop- a toy shop. The others scrambled after them. "Hide!" Louisa hissed. "Get to the back of the store!" The group fled. Annabeth didn't. Louisa took a deep breath, pressing her hands together, almost in prayer. "Blondie-" She began tightly.

"I can help."

"'N' I don't doubt that, but if you get shot, ain't no-one gonna help me then."

"We can set a trap for them. How far away are they?"

"Comin' down the escalators, down there." She gestured vaguely to her left. Annabeth pursed her lips. "They're gonna have ta check shops 'n' stuff. The cameras are down too, so if they were watching through those, they can't now. That buys us, what, twenty minutes?"

"That'll do. Gather all the jump ropes you can." Annabeth moved towards the wooden block toys, the shape-sorting toys, then into the next aisle with stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes. Louisa set to work, grabbing up every jump rope and ripping them from their packaging.

Annabeth sat before the store front, weaving together the ropes. Louisa stood guard, sword in hand. It wouldn't do much good against mortals, but it was a reassuring sight nonetheless. "OK, Lou, pull the shutter down, but don't seal it. Leave it a little bit open."

"Uh, sure." Louisa obliged, wincing at the noise it made grinding against its gears. Annabeth worked faster, tying in a few poor teddy bears. She had to get Louisa to help her up- eight months pregnant was no sort of state to be sitting on the floor. Together, they strung the jump rope/teddy bear combination from the ceiling, about a foot or so from the shutters. "Now what?" Louisa breathed. Annabeth looked around, grinning when she saw what she wanted.

"You like fire extinguishers, don't you, Lou?"

"Yes. They make a funny noise when you bosh them."

"Well, happy birthday then."

"Aww, ya shouldn't've."

The gunmen got quite a surprise when they yanked the shutters open. They were expecting scared hostages, not teddy bears swinging at them with sweetly smiling faces on a wild tangle of jump ropes. The split second surprise brought Louisa time to spray them with the fire extinguisher, dispensing thick foam with the force of a pressure washer over the attackers.

With a yank, Annabeth hauled her creation down. Louisa charged through with a manic laugh. The first man to wipe foam from his mask looked up in time to get the butt end of a fire extinguisher crush his face. He fell, hard, gun flying from his grasp. Louisa hopped over him, swinging her new weapon like a bat and knocking two others down. There was a fourth, who was retreating, gun aimed at Louisa.

"One move!" He warned. "One move and I'll shot ya!" Louisa only laughed.

"Yeet!"

Annabeth had never seen something as beautiful as a fire extinguisher still spewing remnant foam cutting through the air like a wingless plane and slam end first into a bad guy's easily breakable face. He crumpled like a puppet with their strings cut. Louisa snatched up each fallen weapon, removing the magazines and hurtling them away at random.

"Um, are they dead?" One of their group had ventured out. Annabeth saw 'Francine' on her nametag, recognised her as the one that had waved at them to hurry in the baby shop.

"Nah." Louisa kicked Number Three in the leg. "Gonna have a nasty headache when they wake up though." She cocked her head, narrowing her eyes a fraction. "We need ta move, c'mon." She dropped the last empty gun and snatched Annabeth's hand again. Annabeth couldn't help it this time:

"Hope Reyna doesn't get jealous." She smirked.

"Don't tell her. No, wait, life or death. Eeesssh, _mmiiiigggghttt_ get away with it."

"Mm-hm." Annabeth snickered. Louisa stuck her tongue out, waving to the group to hurry again.

They moved past most of the shops, all dark, but thankfully empty. Louisa led them on, pausing to listen every so often. Annabeth heard speculation in the group- radar hearing, psychic powers, and the likes- but it wasn't something so simple.

The radio Louisa still had crackled with anger and frustration.

"_-five down, they're hurt! All head wounds!"_

"_Find her and kill her!" _

"Wonder what they're doin'." Louisa mumbled. "Robbin' the place?"

"Maybe."

"Lots of shops ta steal from."

"Yes, but there's quite a few of them."

"Not anymore." Louisa grinned devilishly.

"Let's just get these people out of here."

"Yes. Right." Louisa nodded and hurried her pace half a step. They moved in silence, the group huddling together and following them like ducklings. They hardly dared breathe each time the radio sounded.

"_Got trouble! There's more of them!" _

"_Kill them too!" _

"More?" Annabeth echoed, hope and despair bouncing around her chest. "Lou, where are the others?" She should not have asked, should not have encouraged Louisa to use the power she had been forbidden to. But she had to know where Percy was, where Leo and Calypso were. She had to know they were OK. "Lou?"

Louisa didn't answer. She didn't have to.

They rounded a corner and splashed. Splashed?

Annabeth looked down. Water had spilled from the toilets, she could hear water rushing from overflowing sinks. Sprinklers were sputtering tiresomely, an indoor fountain had exploded out of its basin, the top portion on fire.

There was some creative Minoan swearing and a whistling gust of wind. Louisa laughed. Calypso stumbled backwards from one of the darkened stores, clasping her shoulder. Blood spilled from between her fingers and Louisa's humour died.

"Ah, hell no!" She flung her hand out. The man emerging from the store, gun pointed at Calypso, was lost under a wave of toilet water. "You bastard!" Louisa chided.

"Lou? Annabeth!" Calypso smiled. "Oh thank the gods, you're OK! Wait, what happened to your head?"

"Don't worry 'bout me head, ya arm's gonna fall off."

"My arm _isn't_ going to fall off." Calypso rolled her eyes. Louisa moved forward, Annabeth pulled along with her.

"You stay." She instructed, letting go to knock Calypso's hand away and inspect the wound. "Mm, bullet ain't in there."

"Do not heal me with toilet water."

"Fountain water?"

"_Clean_ water." Calypso persisted. Louisa shrugged, raising her hands. Gobbets of water bubbled and ballooned from the sprinklers, reducing their sputtering to a mere mist. The liquid gloved her hands, like it had thousands of times before, and she pressed her hands either side of the bullet wound. Calypso sighed as green light speckled in the water, pain easing.

"Where's Percy? And Leo?" Annabeth asked.

"Leo's getting people out and meeting the police- he found a way out these idiots hadn't covered." She gestured at the sodden, unconscious man in the shop. "Percy went looking for you."

"Idiot." Louisa snorted. "Don't worry, Blondie, I've called him back." Annabeth breathed a sigh of relief. Louisa moved her hands away. "Well, ya jacket's ruined, Calllie, but ya arm ain't gonna fall off."

"Told you." Calypso stepped around Louisa. She snapped her fingers and made a shoving motion, palm up, at the group of mortals. Their confused, petrified faces melted into ignorant bliss, the Mist swirling around them and then dissipating. She reached for a radio at her belt, the same as Louisa had stolen. "Leo," she spoke into it, "I found the others. And they've got more friends."

"Yay!" Leo's voice came back. "Hi, Lou! Hi, Beth! Hi, new people! We're on channel two, why didn't you tune in?" Louisa snatched the radio.

"Fuck off, I was listenin' to the idiots."

"The idiots were on channel two!" Leo insisted. "These zorras were on channel one! Ugh, get with the times, Lou!"

"I will smack you."

"And sooner than you think!" The volume of Leo's voice changed. He emerged from a store two down from where they were, spreading his arms and beaming. "Ta da! I have returned! And I brought back-up!" From either side of him, armed SWAT and police filed out, dozens of them, venturing into the mall. "I'm clever." Leo grinned, watching the last of them go. Then he remembered their new company, bouncing excitedly and lunging forward to group hug Louisa and Annabeth. "Ah, I've missed you two! Percy's mean when he's stressed." He pouted. "Oh, speak of the devil!"

"Oh, thank gods!" Leo let them go in time for them to turn and be crushed by Percy. He kissed the top of Annabeth's head, then Louisa's, ignoring her protests and her flailing hand in his face. "Are you OK, are you hurt? Lou, what happened to your head?"

"Had a fight."

"That sums it up. Wise Girl, are you-?"

"I'm alright. Baby's alright too, kicking like a trooper. Lou made sure of it."

"Thank you." Percy squeezed his sister about the shoulders, breathing a heavy sigh of relief. She blew a raspberry in response, during a tired laugh from him. "Right, Leo, get them out of here." He nodded at the group, gently pushed Annabeth towards him. "Cal, you too."

"What about you two?"

"We're going to make sure they don't miss anyone."

"Uh, no. You're going to come with us!" Annabeth protested, grabbing the twins each by the hand. "Come on, this is crazy. Let's _go_."

"No more lifts." Louisa instructed.

"No, no more lifts." Annabeth agreed, pulling on their hands. Relief warmed her chest when they started moving with her. It was short-lived.

A crack splintered the air, Calypso screamed, Louisa lunged, shoving Annabeth out of the way. Percy yelled, clutching his side, paling.

"Go!" Leo shouted, waving the group into the store. "Go to the back, you'll see the exit!" He turned back. Calypso had found the gunman, blasting him from the second floor balcony with a violent blast of wind. Leo wasn't sure where he landed, only hearing the sickening crack of it. They had bigger problems.

Annabeth had been spared. Percy had too, only clutching his side upon feeling his sister's pain. Louisa lay on the floor, hunched over and gasping raggedly. Blood gushed from her ribcage, between her shaking fingers, spilled from her mouth. She coughed and wheezed, choking. Blood splattered the tiled floor, thick chunks almost black in the puddle of crimson.

"Her lung, her lung!" Annabeth cried. Percy, wincing, scooped her up in his arms. She groaned, coughing up more and slathering her front with the black-red goop.

The fountain was destroyed, but it was their best bet. He called on what water remained, called on the green power they shared. She was whiter than a sheet, eyes fluttering as she battled to breathe and stay conscious. Her chest heaved, failing to draw what air she needed. Percy pressed his hand to the wound, trying to find the bullet. He had to find it, had to remove it. He was struggling to breathe, imagining it to be something like an asthma attack.

Cold splashed across his fingers, cold and unyielding. He curled his fingers, pulling his hand away slowly. Louisa choked, body jolting. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he coaxed the bullet out on another bout of blood. His head swam at the effort, a ringing in his ears. He thrust his hand down, gloving it with water like his sister had taught him. He pressed his hand to the wound, pushing his senses to heal the damage within.

He was aware of the others standing over them, watching in terror and concern. Louisa's breathing was rattling and weakening. She still coughed, but there was less blood. That was not a good sign.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon." Percy muttered, vision swimming and discolouring. His own ribs felt bruised, his own inhalations short and fruitless. His fingers tingled as he felt the organ's puncture begin to seal, the shattered parts of the ribcage stitching together under green light. The flesh wound stopped bleeding, slowly closing. He could get it no better than a scar, stomach heaving. Someone grabbed him by the shoulders as the world see-sawed around him, keeping him upright.

"She's still not breathing right." Calypso remarked. She twisted her hands together, a gentle breeze coiling her fingers. She tipped Louisa's head back with soft fingers under her chin, pressing the fingertips of her other hand to Louisa's mouth. The air melted down her to her lungs, Calypso instructing its path with her hand trailing down Louisa's front, not touching her bloodied shirt. She swilled her fingers minutely for a few seconds, and then retraced the path. The air came back out, accompanied with black gunk and a little blood. Louisa choked and coughed, gagging. "Breathe." Calypso urged, throwing away the gore she had retrieved. Louisa's chest heaved, inhaling sharply.

"Yes!" Leo cheered, punching the air with both fists. Louisa stared at him, panting as though she had run a marathon at a dead sprint.

"Wh-?" She wheezed. Annabeth leaned down and flicked her in the head.

"You kelp head!" She scolded. "You almost died!"

"Huh? But… you… didn't…" Louisa looked up at her brother, grimacing. Percy shook his head, grumbling insults in Ancient Greek, and hugged her to him. "Tryin'… ta… breathe…" She reminded him.

"Let's go, let's go!" Leo prompted, beckoning them with both hands and bouncing anxiously on his feet. Calypso took his hand and he began pulling her away, grabbing Annabeth by the scruff of her jacket. "Come on, people, let's go!"

"Gonna… nap… now…"

"No, no, no, you stay awake." Percy shook her, startling her and pissing her off. She squinted at him. "You can stay awake." He repeated firmly, lifting her in his arms again. "Gonna get you properly checked over, OK?"

"'M fine, I-"

"If you say you've had worse, I'll shoot you myself."

"Bastard."

"Yeah, she's fine." Leo grinned over his shoulder. He led them out, sunlight almost blinding after the semi-darkness of the mall. The fresh air was kinder on her lungs, Louisa took a deeper, steadier breath.

People were waiting for them- police, paramedics, the group she and Annabeth had led out. There were cameras and helicopters, news teams trying to get the scoop. She ignored Percy's advice, closing her eyes. By her count, she deserved a nap.


End file.
